“In order to keep us going, it is enough to be grateful for the next breath, because it’s not to be taken for granted that I can take another breath.”–David Steindl-Rasttazmosk

Some 25 years ago, I was invited to a small gathering with a psychic who had flown into Connecticut from California. I went along, not because I’d ever heard of this psychic (in fact, I can’t remember her name) but because my friend invited me and because, well, turning down an adventure is not my style.

The psychic went around the room, revealing to each person what she saw for their future.

When she came to me, she said, “Well, this is interesting.”

I waited with great anticipation. After all, I’d just finished a six-month training in rebirthing and was not exactly sure whether to continue traveling, whether to write a book, where I should go next to set up my mobile writing office.

Instead of answering any of those burning questions, she pronounced with great certainty, “Your next purpose in life is motherhood.”

I nearly fell off the chair. When we left the small home gathering, before we even got in the car, I said to my friend, “Well, that psychic was full of dookie. I’m 36. I’m not married. What a load.”

Not three weeks later, I discovered that indeed I was pregnant.

My daughter, Tasman McKay Grout, was born October 8, 1993 with wild light running through every cell. She landed here on planet earth with indiscriminate and generous love. For the past 25 years, she has been my world–my heart, my reason, my best friend. And as proud as I am of writing a bestseller, being Taz’s mom is by far the best thing I’ve ever done.

Paraphrasing the old “God never gives you more than you can handle,” I used to say “God had little faith in me because he gave me the perfect child.” She was beautiful, brilliant. Goodness for her came naturally. She gave 100 percent every day. I dedicated my last book, Art and Soul, Reloaded, to “Taz, the most creative person I know.”

Last Sunday, six days after her 25th birthday, Taz and I were texting back and forth about going to see “A Star is Born.” We had returned the day before from my mother’s funeral and because I had to be gone on her birthday (to make arrangements for mom), we had every intention of making up for lost time.

It had been 30 minutes since her last text, so I called her, just a casual “The movie’s at 1 and 3. Let’s go to breakfast first.”

Next thing I know, a Lawrence policeman was at my door. Taz, he said, is at the emergency room. Paramedics are getting ready to life flight her to Kansas City.

For the past week, I’ve been with her body at KU Med, learning about aneurisms, learning about organ donation (no surprise she’d checked the box at DMV), experiencing the insane kindness of total strangers.

As you can imagine, I’m still processing all of this, trying to focus on the love we shared and the amazing 25 years we did have. But I won’t lie. This last week has sucked. Even though I know Taz is not a body (yes, an old Course in Miracles standard) I’m still reeling with grief.

The other thing that psychic told me is that Taz would become a great spiritual leader. The list of lives she has already affected in her short two and a half decades is immense.

The t-shirt the paramedics cut off her body to start CPR was emblazoned with giant letters “V-O-T-E.” In her career, she worked as a match specialist with the Spanish-speaking families in Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Everything she did was some variation of this theme: love fiercely and do quiet, kind things for the underdog.

And while I’m not totally sure what’s coming next for me, someone pointed out at the hospital, that the Course in Miracles book I’m writing (now with Taz’s help) happens to be my 20th book and it’s coming out in 2020. That’s 222, the sacred number Taz and I shared.

I’ll close for now. But please know that I love you all. Taz loves you all. And you haven’t heard the last from either of us.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

512 Responses

    1. Truly heart broken, feeling deeply your loss of both your mother and daughter. Words can hardly describe; sending virtual light and love ❤️ May a deeply penetrating peace blanket your sweet soul 😘

    2. Truly saddened. We can understand what the feeling must be like. But for her sake try to remember the good times you have had with her . She will be there with all of us on spirit. And she would definitely not like to see her dear mum sad. Heartfelt condolences from all your fans. May God give you the strength to recocer from this immense grief. We all lovw you. Both of you will be in our prayers.

  1. Love and many prayers to you Pam! Thinking of you and sending many hugs your way! God bless you dear soul!! ❤️

  2. I cannot even begin to say something meaningful. She will be with you–always. Always. The 222 only confirms what we know.

    I stopped after reading this and tried to imagine….my 30 year old, my 38 year old, my grands 8, 2, 1 ……

    Peace Jane

  3. Pam, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. It is a terrible thing to lose anyone, but a daughter, in particular, is heartbreaking.

  4. Oh Pam…you and Taz are in my prayers…I KNOW there is Divine Purpose for this…sending much love and hugs from one of your biggest fans….XOXOX!

  5. I cannot even begin to say something meaningful.
    She will be with you–always. Always.
    The 222 only confirms what we know.

    I stopped after reading this and tried to imagine….my 30 year old, my 38 year old, my grands 8, 2, 1 ……

    Peace
    Jane

  6. Dear Pam,

    Sending you and Taz much love, and positive energy for a good outcome. I’ll be keeping you both in my thoughts, and prayers.

    Love,

    Kat

  7. oh pam. you have so much grace in the face of loss. sending you total light beams of love and sharing some of your daughter’s beautiful spirit today.

    Jade 404-966-5148 Sent from Jade’s iPhone

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  8. Sending you a big hug. To lose your mother and daughter so closely together is heartbreaking. Many healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family. I’m so sorry!

  9. I cannot imagine the depth, pain and profundity of what is happening right now for you Pam. Sending blessings and love your way <3

  10. I have no words, and nothing I could ever say would be adequate to soothe your overwhelming loss and grief. I was so excited to open your email, so happy as I read along, and so completely devastated for you that I can’t breathe either. Sending you all of the love I have Pam. She is with you always. You were both blessed beyond measure. 💔

  11. Dear Pam, I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter Taz.  Sending you prayers for peace and continued memories that will make you smile at some point.  I am also wishing for you strength at this very difficult time.  May God bless you and the soul of your wonderful daughter. Love and peace, Jeanne

    Dr. Jeanne Castellucci Chiropractor and Photographer

    203.855.0107

    P.O. Box 92 Darien, CT 06820

    “A healthier world is a happier world!”

  12. Dear, Dear Pam,
    Holding you and Taz in such loving light. Yes, we are not our bodies, and yes, knowing such profound love as you have experienced with your daughter does never ever end…but we are in these human bodies and therefore we experience a human physical missing. Be so gentle with yourself during this tender time.
    Suzi

  13. Pam – may the strength and love that you share with all your followers everyday, hold you up during this very difficult time. Sending healing white light and lots of love to you both and praying for a positive outcome for you and Taz!!

  14. Sending prayers your way. You both touched so many lives – that’s the life GOD intended for you. YOU did not waste a minute of the precious gift you were given.

  15. Oh my heart hurts for you! You both have inspired me… I’ve read and re-read your books and stories so many times. Praying for you, your family, and your friends. Sending love to you!

    psgrout posted: ““In order to keep us going, it is enough to be grateful for the next breath, because it’s not to be taken for granted that I can take another breath.”–David Steindl-Rast Some 25 years ago, I was invited to a small gathering with a psychic who had flown “

  16. Couldn’t believe when I started to read your post.. but much much love to you n Taz…and yes I agree she’ll always be by your side.

  17. Gosh, my friend, you’ve had a heck of a week. Blessings for peace and comfort, keeping the big picture in mind, as you do so well. Your extended tribe is here for you. (((HUGS)))

  18. Dear Pam, So sorry for your loss. I can’t begin to imagine how you feel. May you find comfort in the love you shared with Taz.

  19. I am so sorry for your loss. I know she is still with you but the physical loss is immense. I am reading this with tears. Wishing you a peace that passes human understanding.

  20. Dearest Pam, as the mother of a beloved daughter of almost the same age as your Taz, I send you love support light and everything in between including rage. Holding you and Taz close. xo Katherine Turpin

    Sent from iKatherine

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  21. My heart goes out to you as I sit here with tears in my eyes for you. I have no words but sending prayers, love and hugs your way.

  22. Omg! I’m so sorry! Why this had to happen to you out of all people! Why Why Why? Sending you love and light to get through this. I know nothing can be said to make you feel better. Sending you much love, more blessings, and best wishes !

  23. My heart is breaking for you Pam. I hold you in my heart. May our love for you help you in some small way to soften your loss .

  24. I was born October 8, 1963.
    I have been dead 6 times and continue to live here.
    I’m okay to due but every time I’m given a choice, I choose to live. I told one group of light beings that I would live to 100. I told another group that I’d like to stay in this experience called “Evana” (my name).
    As I get older, I’ve asked the Angels not to be tested anymore.

    I believe in other worlds, other planes of existence and afterlife beings. But I know this is the only life for Evana, and I’d like to stay here for a good long while as this person.

    I still have much to do even if I don’t know what that is right now.

    Pam Grout, Please know that your beloved daughter shares the same choices I do – even though I’m born on the same date, 30 years earlier.

    Love to her and all my October 8th family.

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  25. Dear Pam, May all the love you give be returned to you in soft and gentle waves. May all
    the love you and your daughter shared be multiplied and showered upon you through these sad days that you may find a way to keep going and continue the work you both have begun. With love always. Christine xxxx

  26. Dearest Pam, I am so sorry to hear of your precious Daughter Taz’s dying. Sending you much love as you continue to make your way through this bone crushing loss.

  27. Dear Pam, I was so saddened to read this. I lost a dear friend to an aneurysm 8 years ago & the suddenness of it is shocking. May peace and love be with you and your darling daughter. Send love & hugs across the pond. Tracey xx

  28. I just had to reach out and tell you that my thoughts and prayers are with you.  You have my deepest condolences.  I admire your strength and bravery but I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling inside.   I have no words except may God protect you and fill you with love and peace.  With my deepest sympathy,Jean Wargo

  29. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  30. Pam, I am so very sorry, crying as I’m reading this. I’m hoping you have pleasant dreams and receive wonderful signs from your daughter and mother. Hugs

  31. Oh Pam I am so heartfully sorry for your loss. Love to you and to Taz who knows so much more now then any of us here on this side do. Blessings

  32. Speechless 😶 But not without my spiritual voice which is crying out loud and clear to be a blessing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  33. Dear Pam, I am beaming love to you, and more love. May you and Taz travel on in this next chapter, and may grief bring you ever closer to truth. May love hold you. With everything I’ve got, Marilyn

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  34. OMG! Sending you and everyone else Love and Light! I don’t even know you girls personally but know that you are needed here and me as a “fan” love both of you!

  35. Oh Pam, may I echo what has been posted by others. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I have loved all your posts about Taz. Her spirit, her love has shown through over and over. Please know, we’re all hurting for you, we’re all sending you so much love, thank you for sharing Taz with us. Carrying your heart …

  36. I was so sorry to hear this Pam. But I admire your courage to share it with
    us. And I’ll take the opportunity to thank you for all the light and wisdom you
    share with the world and will continue to share with the world.
    I wish you much love and much peace.

  37. So much love to you lovely Pam, so sorry for the loss of beautiful Taz from this earthly plane, another angel dancing in heaven. Sending you love and prayers xxx

  38. Dear Pam, Your emails means a lot to me, and have helped me through some dark times. I can empathise with you because I would be nothing without my lovely, disabled little girl. I’m sure that I and the 100s of 1000s people you helped with your books and emails,  will be sending you all our love. With love and concern,Monica Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

  39. Dearest Pam;
    You and your beautiful daughter are amazing in every way. I am so grateful to you for the uplifting ways that you share your journey and apply all of your insights and teachings so very directly in your life. You are a beacon of light in our complex world. Thank you for showing us so many ways to see things differently and behold the miracles that are all around us. Even in this time of the loss of your mother AND your daughter, you inspire me. And the response is always love . . . and I am pouring out my love to you and all mothers and daughters.

  40. I had to read this several times before it could sink in. I am heartbroken for you. I believe your mum went first to be there to greet Taz. Know that thousands of strangers are sharing your grief & sending love and light to you, now and always.

    “Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”.

    RIP Taz 🙏

  41. Pam, Im sending love and light to you. I have been worried, I felt something wasnt right.
    I am so sorry for your pain, I know Taz will always be near you as well as your Mom. You have some extra special Angels sending love and support as well as all of us souls out here that you help with your beautiful words and teachings.
    Take care of yourself, sending you hugs and love from one Mom to another.
    Sharon

  42. I had to re read this 2 more times. I just could not believe what I was reading. I am so sorry ~ it is hard to lose your Mom ~ I can’t in my wildest dreams imagine anything worse than losing your precious child. I am sending you love and hugs. There are no words to comfort you only time can heal that much loss.

  43. Dear Pam,

    I am sure you are overwhelmed with emails but I will add this one to your stack of support mail-

    Taz is indeed a beautiful angel on earth, as you are, and we are so blessed to have you both.

    I also have two beautiful daughters, one whose 27th birthday was October 18, so I am feeling your pain (comparatively a little, I am sure).

    I am so happy you have such amazing insights on life and foreverness, as that’s what will get you through this time.

    Keeping you, Taz and your mom in my heart.

    Love, always, with many thanks with all you do for us,

    Krista

    >

  44. Pam,
    Even in grief your light shines Bright! You are a role model for all humans. May the love you have poured out to others be returned 100 fold and give you strength and comfort in the days ahead.

  45. Sending love & light your way. May all the love, hope, faith and guidance you have given others over the years come back ten-fold, envelop you, and propel you forward as you may need.

  46. Thank you and your wonderful daughter for donating her organs! My son received a life saving kidney this past December. With love and respect, Shari 

  47. Pam, My heart is broken. It’s as if I lost the daughter I never had. And yet, you’re right. Taz, your mother, my father and all our loved ones are right here with us cheering us on and helping us through our little and big problems. I’ll send Reiki to you for your comfort and to find a path through two huge blows almost at once. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable.

  48. Sending you the biggest hug. I am sure I can speak for all of your followers and say that we’re all with you, thinking of you, and hoping to lift you up with our love. Sophia.

    >

  49. So sorry to hear this it is profoundly sad. I am touched by your spirit and grace at the unimaginably difficult time. I am sure the world via you will benefit from the legacy of her life xx

  50. WOW! I cannot even imagine the grief that you are feeling as a mom!! Loving thoughts, and prayers are on their way to you!!

  51. My deepest deepest condolences Pam dearest ❤️🦋🍀.

    You’ve been an inspiration to me, being a single mom w an 18 yr old daughter with Autism. Your books have been simple, profound and helpful. I gave to 50 friends your Thank and Grow Rich a few Christmases ago 🍀🦋

    I’m sorry. I thank you and Taz.

    God Speed Taz 🦋

    Patty and Julia

    Sent from my iPhone

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  52. When I was at a cremation ceremony in Bali, I was aghast at seeing a woman’s body fall out of a flaming red paper mache bull that her body was placed in on the entourage through the village to the cemetery. When a Balinese man who was the grandson of the grandmother saw the shock on my face at seeing his grandmothers hair and face go up in flames as it feel towards me, he placed his hand gently on my shoulder and turned me toward his beautiful smiling face and shouted over the loudly cracking flames:
    “ NO WORRIES!
    CELEBRATION!
    TRANSFORMATION!!!

    In a second his loving smile transformed my horror to a warm smile of knowing as well.

  53. I lost my 33yearold beloved son Scott to a hit and run driver. He has 2 young kids.
    I have sought solace in A C I M and the amazing Neil Donald Walch.
    Pam I am so so sorry and I empathise and we have to hold on to our beliefs it’s the only way.
    Love
    Brian

  54. Pam: you’ve been such an enormous beacon for many of us. You’ve taught us how and why to see things differently and to make our lives better. I hope that we can give you some support, some light, at what has got to be a dark time. My hope is that you have people to whom you can turn to help this hurt just a little less. Know that you, Taz, and your mother are in our thoughts, and that we are holding healing space for all of you.

  55. Losing your mom and your daughter around the same time…..and in such a shocking way with your daughter…. sending love and prayers. These words do not express how much I feel, but I hope you know the extent of how much my words are trying to say.

  56. Oh my F.P.! Pam, I can’t even…I was still processing that you said you lost your mom (and so close after your dad), and then the punch in the gut of Taz. I read it a few times, not sure if you were actually saying she was “gone”. I know you will find some gifts from this crazy year – your superpower! – but my heart is broken for you. I have been obsessed with 222 ever since I first read about Taz using that for all her answers. Now it will have an extra special meaning for me, each time I see it – which is A LOT.
    Hugging you from SW Colorado!
    xox
    Pamela Joy

  57. Even though we have never actually met, I have read your books — some several times. You feel like family. I teared up as I read your post about your daughter. It was a great welling up of love, and I’m sending it from my heart to yours. Shanti, Suzanne

  58. Dear Pam, My heart is breaking for you. I wish I could wrap you in white light and take away your pain. I know at a higher level, that we don’t die. She is with you still, just vibrating at an even higher level and experiencing the infinite, “All that is” or “Heaven”. But man oh man, life in the physical world is sometimes almost unbearably painful. You have helped me and so many others to experience the FP. I will hold you both in my heart and pray for miracles to unfold for you in unexpected ways. Sending love.
    Lauren

  59. Oh, Pam. Indeed our next breath is not guaranteed on this earth. I send you my most heartfelt healing light and love for your daughter Taz, and I claim complete healing on her behalf. Please keep us posted! With love, Sheryl

  60. My heart is with you. My only daughter was also born on October 8, 1993 – an amazing day. I cannot image your pain, your strength and I am sending you a warm loving thoughts. I wish I knew how to help. Hugs! Susan

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  61. Oh I’m so sorry to hear about this.
    Know that my heart, thoughts and prayers are with you through this hard time. 🙏🏽💖

  62. Words escape me Pam, my thoughts and love go out to you and Taz.
    Kia kaha as they would say in Maori, meaning be strong and have courage, and you certainly need all you can get. Love and best healing wishes from New Zealand
    Kay

  63. My heart is breaking for you but I know that Taz is more a part of you now than ever before and she will be able to do so much more to help people in this new dimension. She is in a wonderful place. This life is but a blink of the eye to those who have crossed over. It’s us who have to wait.

    I’m sending you prayers of healing and love and am so thankful for the work that you do and are going to do to bring more light into this world.

    Very much love from a fellow light worker.

    1. Dear Pam,
      I guess God needed another angel, but I don’t know why he had to take yours. Love from Patricia Mary

  64. Pam you are so amazing. Oh my goodness I can only imagine how you feel. Sending love to you, the one who gives so much. Big big hug and love to you. Sally

    Sally Wilks 07775810567

    >

  65. Hi Pam,

    You are an amazing woman, an amazing being and to write what you wrote about your dear daughter so soon is showing all of us your grace, your strength, your ability to practice what you preach. As you have rallied around your supporters in moments of triumph and struggle, we shall now rally around you. Peace and love to you, Pam. Taz is a part of you and she is all around you. She will never be far. Although that being said, this sucks and is something no one should go through alone. Peace, love and light now, and in the moments of darkness that come. The amazing messages from the Universe! With all the 2s… that is special. Grace comes in 24 hour doses, Joel Osteen writes, in ‘I Declare’.

    Peace and love, and Internet hugs, Pam. ❤

  66. /Oh no!// //Pam Grout’s dad died earlier this year, her mom just passed away, and now this has happened to her daughter?// /-M.

  67. Pam, I send my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. She looked lovely. Nothing I can say is meaningful enough but you are in my thoughts. X

  68. Lots of love pam… I can’t imagine your grief right now… you are an absolute legend… your books are amazing and have bought love and peace to so many .. lots of love to you, Taz and all who loved her.

  69. Oh Pam, I can’t believe this. I am so truly and desperately sorry. Every mother’s worst nightmare. I just can’t believe this has happened to you, and I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I have loved all your books and your posts, and I have only ever heard words of great love about your beautiful daughter. I send you love, and I am so sorry you have to bear this sadness. Nina

  70. Dear Pam- Mere words are so inadequate; I’m joining with the many others in sending you and family much light, love and comfort.

  71. Pam, when I started reading your post it didn’t even click until I read it a second time that your beloved daughter Taz, had left this realm. I’m so sorry for your double loss with it being so close after your mother passing. Taz was a beautiful young woman and while she was a big light to light paths while she was here, she will continue to do that from the other side. Much love and a big hug to you and know you are in my thoughts.

  72. Pam sending all my love to you. Taz is with you. Elizabeth Gilbert shares her experience of surrendering to grief, it has helped me so much, i hope it might help you. https://mailchi.mp/brainpickings/elizabeth-gilbert-rebecca-solnit-forest?e=70219b775c

    We are love, we are miracles, we are light. Together we share the human experience, together we help each other have courage to feel the human emotions. Im so sorry for this epic loss, i send all my love and courage to you, no matter how much we know the Truth, we cant skip the raw, heart-wrenching pain of grief. But we can stand together, we can hug until it hurts, we can cry until theres no more tissues left in the State, we can. And we must.

    And when its time, it will hurt a little less, and when its time it will feel a tiny bit ok, and thats when you’ll hear Taz and feel Taz, and you’ll be okay with the Truth.

    I love you Pam. You’re a magic beautiful important soul and we’re all with you 💖

    >

  73. You have inspired and helped me with your words for many years.
    How can we understand why these things happen? I wish I had the words to help you.
    Sending love to you and Taz.

  74. Most of us cannot imagine what you are going through right now, Pam. I am so deeply sorry for your immeasurable loss. Please know that the love, light, thoughts, and prayers of so, so many people are with you, now and always. Sending you angels to bring you healing, strength, courage and peace in the difficult days ahead.

  75. OMG. My son also died of an aneurysm — I had 44 years … Joined “The Compassionate Friends” for parents who lost a child … no words – sending Love & Compassion … I know the feeling — he lives on in my heart <3 as she in yours … Love & Gratitude
    Sincerely, Mary Sankus

  76. quiet tears run down my cheeks. mixed feelings. sadness and yet great joy for the time you have had together in physical form. this is not the end though I felt my heart sink when I read your post. along with so many, I send you great love. thank you for taking your heart and putting us in it. you live in ours as well.

  77. Dear Pam, I am reeling and at a loss for words. I want you to know that you and she touched my life so much and it gives me a great peace to continue knowing and loving you and your wonderful writing and your giving.

    1. Sending you fierce love from my heart Pam. Losing your Mom and then Taz. SUCKS. Lifting you up in my heart.

  78. Pam – May God’s blessings be upon you and yours at this unspeakable time….I am struck that your shirt in the beautiful picture you shared says “Peace Out” on it and you both have such bright smiles…..as Spiritually evolved folks we also must allow ourselves to be human in such times…..my prayer for you is that you allow your humanness to just be for as much and as long as necessary – you can go back to being all of our Super Hero when it is done. Let us lift you for now. Thank you for everything….

  79. Pam, my heart is breaking for you. I cannot imagine how you have managed this past week, however, the word’s “Be still and know that I am God” immediately popped into my head. Take time to heal lovely lady and know that there are thousands enveloping you in love.

  80. My sincere best wishes for you in this time of grief….I love your writing and I am always excited to read your emails when they arrive! God Bless you and Taz….

  81. Pam, my heart is filled with sorrow over the loss of your daughter (and mom). Along with those sad feelings is profound admiration for your strength and courage in the midst of such grief. Sending much love your way…

  82. Surounding you with love, light and healing. Thank you for being an inspiration to me. Praying for you that the blessings of the spiritual fruits abound .

  83. OMG! Dear Pam, you have been a role model for me lately and I always think of you when imagining my dream career and lifestyle. You are such an amazing and resilient shining light with wisdom beyond the ages!
    What an incredible shock! I am sending healing energy to your precious gem of a daughter and lots of comfort and soothing ♥️♥️♥️
    May this day, this moment, truly be the highest manifestation of the Course in Miracles for you and your beloved daughter! I am not sure what happened but there are so many miracles out there so may this time be yours!
    Sending Blessings of the highest realms!

  84. Dear Pam,
    I had to read your mail several times to really comprehend that you have lost both your mother and your daughter in a few weeks. You have lost your frame. I cannot find words for how deeply sorry I am. My heartfelt deepest sympathies. Please accept a huge virtual hug from a total stranger. There is a reason for all this, but the knowledge won’t ease the pain for a while yet.
    Love
    Martina

  85. Blessings Pam. Thanks for sharing about Your dearly beloved Tad. One day at a time! Patty Williams. A member of the Overland Park SOS (Sisters of Spirituality)❤️

    Sent from my iPhone

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  86. Pam you are such an inspiration and role model for me, even now that you’re struggling. What I’ve learned with time, is that physically my dad and grandpa are not here, but I get to feel their love anytime.
    Sending you all my love and energy to help you in this transition.

  87. Immense love to you, Pam; thank you for your brilliant and beautiful light. Thank you for sharing your experience. Your daughter is an amazing human and you wrote of her so beautifully.

    May you be embraced in comfort, love, and light, Susan

    >

  88. What an angelic face! You can tell the inner beauty that God treasures ( tthat he speaks of in the Bbible) So heartbroken for you! Kaye B.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  89. My eyes are tearing after reading this sad news – you have been an inspiration to me and Taz has been an inspiration to you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Her spirit has completed her human experience; far too early it seems but it appears her spirit is needed elsewhere in our Universe. May your grief soon turn to fond memories.

  90. What an amazing creature you grew under your Heart and birthed to our world. My Motherheart is saddened that you won’t be able to wrap your arms around your Taz anymore. All light, love and good juju to you. Thanks for being gracious in your grief and sharing with us here. Gods speed to Taz.

  91. Good Afternoon Ms. Grout,

    Taz, you and your extended family are in my prayers during this difficult time. Words fail me. Know that we all love you and are keeping the faith. May angels protect your daughter🙏🙏

    Thank You, Marcia Cooper

    >

  92. Dearest Pam, I am so deeply sorry. I have no idea what to say. I truly hope the love and care of all your friends that “meet” with you here via your blog will somehow help you get through this overwhelmingly sad time, one day at a time. You are an amazingly strong woman and I’m sure your dear mum and your precious daughter are going to be right there with you as you grieve the loss of their physical presence in this life.
    Thankyou for bravely and beautifully sharing your loss with us. I wish I could hold you in my physical arms right now but please know I’m holding you in my heart and sending my deepest love to you, today and every day. Take care of you dear Pam.
    💖💜💗💛🌸💛💗💜💖
    With love & prayers for whatever you need to help you at this time,
    from Jenny Louise

  93. God bless you thru your grieving… I love you…my heart breaks for you…I can’t wait to hear about all the magic you and Taz create going forward…
    And thank you for being part of my life💥

  94. First I can’t imagine what you are going through. I was wondering the last couple of weeks where you were. I remarked to my wife that it just wasn’t like you to fall off the face of the earth. Now it all makes sense. All the time you give everyone such comfort in what you write and I hope Taz starts to communicate with you in such strong ways that the miracles just keep coming in faster and faster and give you some much needed solace. I am looking forward to your new book and I know it will be the best book you’ve ever written in your life.

    Hugs,

    Keith

  95. My heart goes out to you at this time. I am sure you will need every bit of spiritual strength and understanding you have in order to heal from this huge loss. Take care of yourself. You are loved and appreciated by many.

  96. Thank you for sharing the beautiful picture of you and your daughter, Pam. I join thousands of people holding you up in the same love and light apparent on your two smiling faces ~

    Judy Best

  97. Wow. I definitely was not ready for that. I can only imagine what it was/is like for you. Sending you and all close to you, hugs and love. Blessings

  98. I just am beyond words, words cannot say it at all, you have brought so much light into my life and I send it all reflected back to you now. Holding both you and your precious daughter to the light of love…. May ” the dude abide” with you both, God, Universe, Spirit.

  99. What an amazing incredible soul you are Pam.
    I always look forward to your emails where your deep love, enthusiasm and passion for everything good and positive, adventurous and fun literally shines through. What also came through was your deep, fierce and abiding love for Taz. I too have a daughter called Taz and I cannot imagine the pain you are in even though you know she continues. The sudden loss of her loving physical presence probably seems unbearable now but you will come through. Sending love and light to you x

  100. So very sorry Taz is no longer with you in the body you created together… we share your grief and wish you healing.

  101. Sending you and Taz love with all my heart. Such a beautiful soul, such a deep, deep loss. Your words have lifted my spirits so many times. I hope you can feel all the love for you and Taz flowing to you both.

  102. I can’t express how sorry I am, have so many prayers and good thoughts for you, your daughter and mother as well. My heart goes to you right now in love.

  103. Pam, my heart beaks for you. I too have lost a child at 28 yrs. It unravels you but knowing that they are still close brings some comfort. My beautiful boy now helps others pass over and I have been told that we have much work to still do together, as do you and your exquisite daughter. God bless you
    Rae

  104. Pam, my deepest sympathies. Only parents who have lost children can understand your grief. I gently suggest you get in touch with the Selah House Carefarm and Respite Center, a magical place near Sedona for parents who have lost children—of any age—to get some comfort and healing. You can find them on Facebook and at http://Www.missfoundation.org/Carefarm
    602-279-6477
    Dr Joanne Cacciatore is the director
    Bless you and your daughter’s spirit

  105. Pam,

    After the loss of my daughter, I searched out the why and found my answer. I have become transformed because of her passing for the better. Because of your thinking and your voice, you will help more people than you can imagine including yourself. Great beauty and knowledge lies before you. You are like the butterfly in her first stage.
    Patience.
    May your heart be light, sending love to you and your beloved Tasman.

  106. Dearest Pam,
    I wish that I had something wise and profound to say that would in some small way, ease your pain. And yet, I am at a loss for words to help you with your sorrow. Please know that you are loved.
    Sending you light.

  107. My prayers and as many positive vibes as I can send are circling above you and Taz. My heart aches for you and the loss of your Mom and now this. As hard as it may be, please try and remain positive.

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  108. My Darling Pam,

    I did not see this coming. I …. No words.

    Love Blessings , I am here for you xx

    The spirit you evoke in all your tribes are here for you.

    Vive Black

    >

  109. My deepest heartfelt condolences. May all the joy and inspiration you have shared with us bless you many times over and carry you through and deepen the connection to Taz on the other side. Sending you light, blessings, love and peace.

  110. Dearest Pam,

    I could scarcely process the content of this email. So utterly unexpected. I am trying to send love and hugs and whatever other support I can from afar. Words seem very insufficient at this moment. I am so, so sorry.

    Terra

    >

  111. Sending lots of love and light to you and Taz… there are no words… just holding you close to my heart.

    1. Much Love to you, I noticed the date, Oct. 22, 2018. 222 There is so much Love, and more going on here than we can possibly Imagine! What an amazing daughter, as you always knew.

  112. Dear Sister in spirit..if I could hold you in my arms right now and bring you peace and comfort I would. I ask for Gods love and light to surround you and give you peace beyond our understanding. My heart and prayers are with you dear one.

  113. Sending you love and prayers and affirmations as you grieve this loss. As a mom with two daughters, I can imagine how tough this is. Thank you for the courage to share what you are going through. Marchiene Rienstra (Unity minister in Douglas, MI) >

  114. Dear Pam,

    So very sorry for what you are going through. Thank you for sharing and I am sending prayers and positive energy your way.

  115. My sincere condolences. I love you and admire you. I am praying for your strength and peace.

  116. I love you Pam. I can’t imagine what you are going through. Surrounding you and your daughter with white light in my prayers, my mind, and my heart.

  117. What!!???! Nooo, I am so sorry, tears in my eyes and soul. So sorry…sending you love and anything you need, dear woman, I am stunned…I hold you in my heart.

  118. Oh my heart. Dear Pam, you don’t know me but you’ve been in my life for just over 2 years now and reading this email at the dinner table, with my precocious son who won’t eat, has deeply touched me. You always brought me hope on dark days and your messages of light are special to me
    I will send love and heart and soul to you now and I know others will be doing the same. I will bless my son, who tests my patience constantly and thank the stars for him, because of your daughter and you
    Tam

    Sent from my iPhone

  119. Dear Pam, I weep for you. I love you. Taz will always be a part of you and you’ll always be a part of all of us, your peeps.
    Love,trust and faith.
    JANE, from Jane BONNIE and WENDY at your first session on your book E Squared at Omega.

  120. I’ve been missing your emails, I was literally thinking about you this morning. When I got your email, I was so excited to hear your news, your daughters beautiful smile made me smile, and I thought, wow, she is really gorgeous, you can’t help but see her light shining through her smile. Then I read your words and let it fully sink in, through my tears, there are no words, but thank you for your love in even this time, thank you for opening your heart, and having the courage to post your raw emotions. There are so many people holding you in love right now. Please know how very sorry I am for your loss.

  121. I’m not as evolved as you or your other followers – my reaction is anger! It’s not fair or right that such an awesome being is taken before she has shared the many gifts she possessed. This news is sad and shitty.

  122. Dear Pam you words, stories and humour have given me hope and strength so many times, in fact your recounting your journey home to Lawrence, pregnant, hot in that old car I have called to mind often to give myself courage, and now I read this and wish I had your skill to offer courage, but I can’t. What I can and will do, with so many others, is to keep sending you love and remember you in my prayers.

  123. Bless you Pam and Taz May you find peace in you heart. Unimaginable pain for you this year…… your dad, mom and now your daughter. Keeping you in prayer, thought, and sending you light and love.

  124. Pam, I am in such shock. I can’t imagine the pain you are experiencing. I know Taz was your world and your best friend. I am praying for you. Love Nixie

  125. So,so sorry for the passing of Taz. I lost my son suddenly at 26 to complications with his juvenile diabetes. The pain never goes away but I have a connection with him like I didn’t here. He is making a big impact on young souls crossing over. I’m thinking Taz was called for something special. Doesn’t lessen the pain. Sending as much love and peace your way as I can.

  126. I cry for your losses, even knowing the greater part of who we are cannot be contained in a body, flesh clings to flesh and my heart aches for you. Be kind to yourself as you learn a new way of being here on Earth. Sometimes even knowing all we know, all we can do is cry. As always, thank you for sharing your life and spirit with us. You are a blessing.
    Love to you. Brenda Hunter

  127. My heart hurts for you and my tears flow for you. I knew this morning not seeing a post again before I left that it would be something radical to keep you away so long. Anything but this. As a mother, and I’m sure almost any mother can tell you this, it’s easier to lose your own existence than your child’s. All I can do from here is hold space for you to get your feet back under you until you can put one in front of the other. Deep love for you from one mother to another.

  128. Pam, Sending abundant light and love to you. You next book will be your best book with Taz helping you every word of the way. Looking forward to reading it. Peace to you my friend.

  129. Pam I am so so sorry for the loss of your mother and your beautiful Tasman. May God bless them and may he comfort you. My heart truly aches for you Pam. If I could just hold you and hug you I would. Please feel the love of your family all over this earth and beyond.

    You are a blessing to this world, one of Gods beautiful earth angels. You have helped so many of your brothers and sisters to heal and to soar. If somehow a few words could comfort you now I would be blessed to provide them. As I’m not fabulous with my own choice I asked God to present them through my cards..this is what he wanted to say…

    “Don’t be afraid of change or death. They are just portals into new beginnings. Breathe deeply. Listen to the inner silence, in which you can hear what has gone before and that which endures for all time. You are part of an important legacy: you are a Steward of Mother Earth with work to do. Protect her, as she is a paradise. And be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with love and respect. You are a holy being of great potential. Grief will deepen you. Allow me to fill you with hope and trust and belief that the light will return, and you will burn even brighter than you could have imagined. You are loved.”

    I love you Pam xox

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  130. Hi Pam,

    My heart goes out to you. Sending you both prayers and love. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Amy

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  131. It’s said that grief is the price we pay for love. For you now that price is higher than you can imagine. Love never dies, but the world is changed for you now. Grief is also solitary, but there are thousands of us who are sending you thoughts of peace. Maybe in some way that energy will reach you and lift a tiny bit of the burden.

  132. Dear Pam Grout,

    My condolences regarding the loss of your daughter, and all your losses this year. You are wise to note your lovely daughter is “not a body” and that she is still with you in so many ways. However, your poignant posting regarding the sudden loss of Taz, so soon after the passing of your father and then your mother truly devastated me.

    Which is my clumsy way of apologizing for forwarding my original email to /you/, instead of forwarding it to a friend of mine, who is also on your subscription list. Only yesterday, my friend and I were talking and both noted your recent absence from our Inbox, and how we’ve missed you.

    I don’t know if you will receive either email I’ve sent you today or not, but I hope if you do you will accept my empathy and my sympathy. (I knew I wanted to reach out to you, I’m just sorry I originally did it accidentally.)

    Sincerely, Michele K.

  133. You are such an inspiration the way you see the bigger picture in the midst of your grief. Sending you 💕

  134. ‘ The heart that breaks
    open
    can contain the whole universe’
    J. Macy

    💖 u and your child

    In everlasting Peace
    S

  135. Dearest Pam,
    This is your friend from HMB CA, Anna Marie. We’ve talked before. I told you about the loss of my son who was 24. It been several years now. The first time I saw your post I was at a stop in traffic and could not comment but I noticed it was 1:22 and it is Oct 22. The next time I got home to look at it again because I just wasn’t sure I got right, it was 2:22! Both times my eyes are flooded with tears running down my face. There is so much I want to tell you but cannot do it here. I can tell you that I know for sure there is no separation, no death, and that we can continue our relationship with our loved ones. I have done this and so many miracles have come and continue to happen. I am in the process of writing about this in the hopes it can help others who have had tremendous loss. There is so much love pouring in for you, this actually helps TREMENDOUSLY. Go ahead and take it all in. I am also a spiritual teacher like you and have always been very positive. Sal was an amazing young man and touched so many people. Please contact me at my email annaenea@me.com if you want. I swear I will fly to wherever you are and stay in a nearby hotel to help you through this difficult time. My heart goes out to you, but you are strong and you are divinely connected to Taz and to God. You will be fine, new things will happen in your life that you never thought were possible. Know that Taz is with you. Sending love and prayers.

  136. Oh God Pam, I cannot imagine your heartache. Tas was such a shining light, and it was always so fun to hear about your adventures together. You are brave to share your pain with all of us. Please let us carry you in our hearts and prayers during this sad time.
    With love.
    Julie M.

  137. Dear Pam, i wish i knew the words to say. I have never messaged you before but just had to say how dreadfully sorry i was to learn of this just a few minutes ago. I have been waxing lyrically about ‘Thank and Grow Rich’ to many friends since a very good friend ‘paid it forward’ so that i could read it – it is truly such a fantastic and uplifting book – than you. I know i am a stranger (im in UK) but i will be sending prayers, healing, love and blessings to you. Take great care and i am so very sad for you, John U.

  138. Dear Pam and Taz,

    My prayers, love and support go out to you. Know you have many angels guiding your path, holding you up and delivering on the promise of the soul.

    Thanks so much for all the encouragement and inspiration you put out in the world everyday! Sending you love and healing. ❤️💐🦋 Saira Priest

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  139. Love and light shining in and around you both at all times 💞 there is no separation you are one in the same 😍 your community – your family, which you both have inspired and created on this earth is holding you right now dear ones in love and prayers 🙏

  140. I cannot even begin to imagine your grief but, as a mom, my heart goes out to you in the biggest way possible. Taz was/is a spiritual leader because you no doubt raised her to have the confidence to follow her heart and serve others. Although she is no longer in that body, she is with you in your heart always. deb <3

  141. Our hearts break for you…thank you for sharing your beautiful approach to this very tragic event.

    Sent from my iPad Michele😘

    >

  142. Sending hard love and light to help your pain Pam! You help so many people – and God has given you so many gifts! the body of your dear daughter has passed and you know her spirit has not left you… LOVE NEVER DIES …bodies do and it is SO hard to be without them in our physical world. It’s our loss that burns – sending Angels all around! Survived that loss and know I can’t give any words to ease your pain as it’s your process. God has a plan for each one of us – always for our highest good – even when it hurts. It ALWAYS for our highest good – not sometimes but all the time❤️ Thank you for sharing this with all those souls that love you and are here for you to send love at a time your heart needs holding. beth

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  143. Hello,
    You inspire me every day. I am so sorry these two losses occurred and so close together. I am sending you love and light and the strength to get through! Thank you for sharing this with us and allowing us to learn to go through loss better. So much support and appreciation for you!!!

  144. Dearest Pam, words cannot express my deep sadness at learning of your tragic loss. I see it now…your beautiful Taz being escorted around the universe on wings of angels, and at the same time leaving a cavernous hole in your heart. I want you to know that I am so grateful for you. You have been such an inspiration to me in my darkest times… I keep your books at the top of my Audible cue at the ready. And now I hope you can feel the oceans of love that we, your tribe, are sending to you and everyone pained by this great loss. I hold you in my heart and send you love and light and peace.

  145. Oh my God Pam. I am so very, very sorry for your losses, first for your beloved mom & secondly for your beautiful daughter, Taz. Your description of her amazing life was so lovely. What a heart centered young woman. I had just been thinking a day or two ago that I had not seen any of your blogs. Now I know why. Please accept my deepest sympathy. I send you abundant love & big warm hugs.
    Love to you & your family,
    Janice

  146. Pam,

    I asked, what can I offer Pam and Taz at this time?

    Something said, pick a card just for them. So in my unfinished deck of flower cards, this one came up. I hope its meaning for you is helpful and healing.

    Thanks so much for all your ongoing encouragement and inspiration!

    My love and prayers are with you. Warmly, Saira Priest

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  147. You and your books have been nothing shy of miraculous for me – and I am sending love, light and thoughts of healing to you and Taz.

  148. My deepest condolences for your loss. May the Divine comfort you in your time of grief. May the Divine loving light surround you always.

  149. OMG! I am so so sorry! I also lost my mother and my daughter within a month of each other…..my two best people!
    My mother died at 99 on my daughters BD in Oct. my daughter died in Nov. at 43.
    Her two children were 15 and 11. Love 💗
    I was numb for months but miracles do happen. My grand daughter has two beautiful girls…life goes on…sometimes in my darkest times I thought I could not keep going, but here I am,16 yrs later, doing my best at 82. I sing in a chorus, play cards and oil paint. I have lots of friends and a full life thanks to you and Richard Rohr. God bless you and give you peace.

  150. My heart breaks for you reading the beautiful way you deal with the pain of losing your daughter, your greatest love. Sending you big love, lights and strength as you heal. Thank you for all the love you you send out to everyone even during difficult times. Blessings.

  151. Pam, I’m thinking of you in this time of profound sadness. Your books have helped me through some dark times, so I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that. I wish the same healing for you, be gentle with yourself. Sending you love!

    1. Holding you in light and love and great appreciation for all of the wisdom and inspiration you have shared with so many of us over the years. Hoping that we can provide support and love to you as you navigate the next part of your journey. Even though Taz’s light has gone out in this world, I know it burns bright in the next.

  152. Dear Pam,

    I have been receiving your e-mails for a while now and while they often leave me pensive, joyful or amazed, none have touched me as much as this one. I cannot begin to comprehend the pain you are going through right now. I have no other words than to tell you how incredibly moved I am to see that even in the most difficult of times, you continue to serve as a tremendous model of faith, courage and hope.

    Bless you and yours.

    Condolences,

    Denise

  153. Talk about psychic. A little after 1 o’clock today I was brushing my teeth and I realized that I hadn’t gotten an email from you in a long time. I wondered if you were traveling but then something said someone has been hurt and you a devastated. I checked my email and got your message here. Holy moly. I’m so sorry. I am sending you all kinds of good thoughts. I hope you feel them.

    >

  154. Pam,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother and your beloved daughter. I am sending you love and light. That is a beautiful photo of both of you. Ann

  155. Pam I am so sorry to learn about the passing of your beautiful daughter. I read your post as I was sitting in O’Hare airport waiting for my return flight after visiting my daughter in Chicago for her 29th birthday. Tears came to my eyes as I read your post about your sacred number, 222. I closed my email as the tears prevented further reading. Just as I put my phone away they made an announcement about my flight–222 to SFO. I was clueless about my flight number until I checked my boarding pass on my phone when the announcement was made. But when I heard it, I knew I would be writing you. My daughter is all I have left of my immediate family. My son passed away from cancer 16 months ago at the age of 36. My husband passed in 1993, 5 days before my daughter’s 4th birthday. Knowing that we are not our bodies, that we will meet again in the spirit world is what keeps me going. Thank you for what you offer the world. I send you love and condolences, plus my mantra which came from Julian of Norwich: All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

  156. Dear Pam,
    your post was such an unexpected theme. Tears flowed through the reading each phrase more heart wrenching. I add my prayers and thoughts to the many already expressed.Holding you in grace as you travel this path. Huge hugs

  157. Pam: I am so deeply sorry for your loss, your grief and your pain. I remember you both chatting poolside a few years ago in San Diego. It was a special event and afternoon. The love ❤️ and light doesn’t stop. I wish I were there to comfort you. Take good care.

  158. Holding you in sacred space in my heart. Loving, loving, loving you. XOXOXOXO, Dorothy Brown

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  159. Pam,

    I read your post in total disbelief; I came back and read it twice more, to be sure I was understanding it correctly. I am so sorry for your loss, and a devastating loss it is, regardless of our understanding that our children aren’t really our children, but the children of Love, who loves them more than we do, more than we are even able to comprehend. You have given so much to so many, and we are grateful. You are the recipient of innumerable uplifting thoughts and prayers. On angels’ wings… I know you can feel it.

    Linda Burdick

  160. I am so extremely sorry for your massive loss; I can’t imagine anything worse. Praying for both of you.

  161. Chère Pam,
    Mes plus sincères condoléances suite à la perte de votre fille, de votre mère, et de votre père il y a quelques mois. C’est beaucoup de chagrin pour un seul être humain.
    Je vous envoie des pensées de courage, de la lumière et de l’amour. 💕
    Sylvie

  162. As I read your words this morning, I found myself smiling through my tears as you talked about 222, the sacred number you and your beautiful daughter share. I picked up my Angel Numbers book, and read these words: “222 = Trust that everything is working out exactly as it’s supposed to, with Divine blessings for everyone involved. Let go and have faith.” Surrounding you with hope and healing and infinite love, Pam. And above all, Divine blessings for everyone involved.

  163. Oh, Pam…so sad that you have to go through this. I can’t offer any more wisdom than that that others have already posted. Prayers for extra strength and support as long as you need it.

  164. My deepest condolences to you, Pam. It feels so inadequate for such a devastating event. I do know that like birth to this physical form there is another birth to the nonphysical. I also know that words will not stem the grief, you can only feel it, live it and be patient with yourself, there is no timetable. Taz will always be with you as will your parents. The love given can never be taken away. I will keep you both in my prayers.

  165. I’m so very sorry Pam. It is so hard to lose anyone you love, but losing your child – oh, so painful. I am in awe of your wonderful relationship with your daughter Taz, and I imagine she loves you every bit as much as you love her. It is incredibly hard to believe what’s happening when your loss is so sudden, and I hope you have many family and friends around you to hold you in their arms. I am holding you in loving energy!

  166. Pam,

    Please know that your friends around the world are loving you back.

    Cheryl in Australia XX

  167. Pam, I am in shock for you, with you, and with Taz and this unreal amount of loss you are enduring with such grace. Unbelievable, but clearly all too real. The world loves you but grief is horribly solitary. I hope the intense adoration and yearning of all of us, your readers, gives you small comfort. So much love to you.

  168. I’m shocked and heartbroken, Pam. You see, through you I’ve come to love Taz also. How can such a bright light be gone? The truth is her shine could never be snuffed out. I am quite certain she will be with you and those she loves more than ever. Sending you prayers and so much love, Sue Shanahan

  169. Sending so much love, may you be wrapped in it, protected and comforted for as long as you need.

  170. Your tribute to Taz’s life is absolutely awe-inspiring, especially in light of the immense grief you must be going through. Sending you a big, comforting virtual bear hug of love, my friend. <3

  171. Dear Pam
    I only knew Taz through the pics you posted on insta. It has inspired me to see a young woman who obviously enjoys spending time with her mum (I have a 20 yr old daughter who I adore). I thank Taz and your beautiful self for sharing and inspiring and reminding me of how every day is such a blessing. Thankyou for sharing your beautiful daughter with the rest of us. Your wisdom in grief is more than any of us could ask for. Take care of your heart. You have given the rest of us so, so much.
    Bless you both. Xx Lulu

  172. Oh Dear Pam,
    Tears are streaming down my face. I love you and your beautiful daughter as if we are best friends.
    How may I help?
    I love you both so dearly.
    Always, Kate

  173. My heart goes out to you. Thank you, Pam, for sharing this with us. Thank you for sharing Taz with us. And thank you for sharing your future adventures with Taz with us. Thank you.❤️❤️❤️

  174. You are in my heart. The biggest of hugs to you.

    In kindness, Kimmy Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE Droid

  175. All I can do is wrap you both up in divine love, and mine. My prayers and love are with you both for complete and rapid healing. Kate xxx

  176. There are no words, Pam . . . Even though we’ve never met, we’re family (Grouts). I am a single mother, and your loss hits so close to home. I am down on my knees praying for God’s healing love to surround you both and give you peace. If there is anything I or your Iowa family can do for you, please reach out! . . . and you said it in your beautiful tribute to your daughter “God never gives you more than you can handle,” . . . Lean on him, and lean on your friends and family . . .

  177. Oh Pam, what a special soul she is! I am so very sorry to hear this. She was a beautiful girl and though I don’t know you well I remember brief encounters through childhood activities with my daughter Sophie. Much love to you as you navigate the loss of your dear Taz.

  178. Oh, sweet Pam, I am shocked, heartbroken and devastated, have been crying all day. Despite all my spiritual beliefs, it feels so unfair for this to happen to someone who gives so much love and joy to the world every day. You are a blazing sun. Your words have profoundly inspired and helped me through many dark times, and I love you and Taz as dear friends, even though we’ve never met. I too thought of you just this morning and missed your emails, and am currently traveling with one of your beloved books right next to me. It occurred to me that you initiated relationships with millions of people by sending your beautiful work out into the world — in a sense, you birthed all of us and we are all your family. I hope that you can feel the fierce circle of love and gratitude that we are all sending back to you, lifting you up and comforting you in softness and gentleness. We love you, Pam Grout. Sending profound love to you during this heart wrenching time. 💕💕💕

  179. Pam, You have been a source of hope and inspiration for me. And here you are—at this time—still lighting the way for others. Much love to you and Tas, and thank you for sharing her with us.

  180. I hope that god can help you at this heartbreaking time. Sending you all the love I can. Sorry for your tragic loss.

  181. Thank you Pam for such a deeply personal blog. The love you shared with your beautiful daughter shines through in every letter, every word, every nuance. Do deal with so much change in such a short space of time is truly challenging. Your Mom and your Daughter will guide you to the right places and people on this earth plane. My heart goes out to you. Fierce Love. Theresa ❤️❤️❤️

  182. Dear Pam I am an devoted fan and admirer of you and your work. My heart goes out to you and I wish you love, strength and all the comfort you need at this time. Much love and blessings Barbara Werb (South Africa)

  183. She is love put into movement. She has been and will continue to be perfect love for you. As separate bodies you both enjoyed this earth experience. As One you bring her to us with your presence.

    Love

    Isabel C.

    Get Outlook for Android

    ________________________________

  184. Dearest Pam,

    I have no idea what to say except this news rocked my world this morning.And to send you love and prayer. My heart is with you. xx >

  185. missed your emails and was wondering if you were on a wonderful trip or something not so nice could have happened…and now this awful news. Love you Pam and your beautiful daughter, wish you trust in all and everything.

  186. I’m sitting here at my computer reeling in shock and deep, sincere grief for you, having just read your post. No words can express how very sorry and sad I am for you. I send you love, prayers and peace at this most difficult time in your life. I am sorry. . . . . with love

  187. Pam I am so very sorry to hear this sad news about your Taz. My heart breaks for you, my mum and dad lost my youngest sister at 31 yrs old and it is not the way it is meant to be. I know I don’t know you personally but I have your books and absolutely love your blogs. I send you lots of hugs and loads of blessings for you and your loved ones.

  188. So very sorry about your Mom and daughter-hold great memories close to your heart-you are such a positive force for all-may we all send positive thoughts and energy your way in this difficult time❤️

  189. Oh, Pam. It`s so sad. She is steel living for the God. She is very beatiful. Pray about you both. Thank you for your books, they give expierens to live in love with reliance in thise world

  190. Dear Pam, words fail me. My heart goes out to you – am sending all my love and hugs from Germany. Thank you so very much for sharing this with us – you are deeply loved by us all.

    Dagmar xoxo

  191. Pam: Am sending you boundless love. I’ve been there, and there’s nothing more excruciating. Be kind to yourself – v important – and take all the love you need.
    x
    Dallas

  192. Dearest Heart and Brightest Light,
    Such sadness! I cannot imagine the pain. Not even close. And here you are letting it move through you and move you to reach out to us.
    Thank you for now being doubly courageous and doubly connected,
    and helping us get doubly clear on these truths.
    Love,
    MK

  193. Bless you both!!!
    Thank you for sharing during this tough time…I’m so grateful for you and really wondered where you were lately as I’m always so happy and inspired with all that you share and the encouragement to always reach for that higher thought and to be grateful…and here you are being grateful in your darkest moments and remembering the light!! Shine on you beautiful diamonds!!! Much Love and Apprreciation 💗

  194. I was drawn to read your post today for some reason, I don’t always if I’m honest, time constraints, I know you undersrtand. My kids are to me all that you said your daughter was to you, my ex husband has made me feel bad for feeling like that.
    I can’t even begin to imagine your loss but I do know one thing, pain, even something so great as you are having to deal with will shift eventually, She didn’t want to leave you I know that for sure but the universe had different ideas for both of you. I wish you all the love in the universe and for you to be eternally grateful, as you have said, for your magical time together. Thanks for sharing, it has gone deep inside me today as I am at the end of a very painful journey myself and your words strangely have given me even more strength. You will continue to inspire and share love. Don’t ever close or stop. Lovve Kathy xx()

  195. Oh Dear!!!
    Pam you are genius.. you are light house for us, kudos to your strength and courage.
    Our prayers are with you. Taz will be recover soon. Everything, you and Taz imagined will come true,
    God bless you.

  196. I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through…..my soul is with you giving you strength to endure…I knew I needed to read your email first thing this morning because before reading it (between 4am when I woke up and now – 5:40am chicago time) I kept seeing “222” everywhere and wondered what the Universe/HS wanted me to connect with….THEN I READ YOUR EMAIL…..sending my love, positive energy, angel blessings your way to you and your precious daughter. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through but know you have my love and support.

  197. I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through…..my soul is with you giving you strength to endure…I knew I needed to read your email first thing this morning because before reading it (between 4am when I woke up and now – 5:40am chicago time) I kept seeing “222” everywhere and wondered what the Universe/HS wanted me to connect with….THEN I READ YOUR EMAIL…..sending my love, positive energy, angel blessings your way to you and your precious daughter. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through but know you have my love and support.

  198. Dear Pam

    Oh My God Sweetheart,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter and the tremendous pain you must be feeling

    Please take care, am sending you and your daughter lots of love, anything that can give a little comfort during this sad and difficult time….

    You are an amazing woman Pam Grout and Im sure Taz would want nothing more, than

    for her Mum to be so happy with life….

    GOD BLESS XXX

    Rob

  199. Dear Pam
    I sit here with tears and cannot imagine what you must be going through. I think of my own children and want to hug them close. Pam, my heart and prayers go out to you and your family, and I am sending you so much love, light and healing xox

  200. Love and light surround you … I’m crying at your loss…. may you be able to find peace in the future, but grief is your right these hard , hard days. Love always. Sadness now.

  201. Oh Dear Pam, I’m so incredibly sorry for what you are going through. What a lovely tribute to your daughter. You’ve spent your life bringing joy, hope, love and light to the world and now I hope you let all of us send it back to you. Grieve honestly knowing that she is with you and let love gently heal your soul.

  202. I am so so sorry. When I began reading your post I was imagining you would continue on talking about going to see the movie with your daughter and how you spent your time with her afterward, enjoying her company and belatedly celebrating her birthday. It was shocking to read what actually came to pass so I can only imagine what you are going through right now. Surely she is with you, holding your hand and comforting you through this. I pray you can feel her presence and that you can feel the love coming from those of us who have learned of her passing. Peaceful blessings to you dear one.

  203. This has broken my heart to read, Pam. She’s a complete Mini Me, the image of you! Lots of love to you.

  204. Dear, dear Pam, Thinking of you and Taz with love and light, Xxxooo! From one of your many fans, Susan Maura Burns

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    1. Dear Pam, Taz is now completely free to touch us all at the same time. Immense love knows no bounds. Let her guide and comfort you now. Thank you for sharing her light.

  205. Pam, my heart aches for you. There are no words to lessen the pain of losing a child, especially one so special as Taz. I am thinking of you and sending you love. <3

  206. I was looking forward to an email from you. Sometimes I’ve thought of you these last few weeks. I was searching in her social networks for some vestige that you were well, just busy and would contact us.

    I confess I was worried, I remembered that your last disappearance was at the time of her father’s loss.

    But even in our greatest imaginations we can not suppose what really goes on with the other.

    Stay with my embrace and my total gratitude. You’re a light to my life. And I was very grateful to the Universe for having the chance to follow your path!
    May you find all the strength and air you need to breathe, breathe and breathe.

  207. My deepest condolences!!
    My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

    Carrie Stevens
    Assistant to the Vice President for Global Affairs

    University of Connecticut
    Global Affairs
    368 Fairfield Way, U-4182
    Storrs, CT 06269-4182
    Phone: 860-486-3152
    Fax: 860-486-2963
    Email: carrie.stevens@uconn.edu
    http://global.uconn.edu

    [global-stacked-colors_blue]

  208. I had been missing your emails since you are so very inspiring to all of us. Never could visit have imagined something like this. My heart is breaking for you. You were blessed to have had Taz with you even if for such a short time and the love you have share will be with you always. I wish that I could help you like you have helped us all but all I can do is send you love and prayers. God bless you Pam. We are all here for you with our love.