Rearranging the furniture in my mind
“If you’re going to keep your sanity, the only choice is spirit.”—Americ Azevedo
First, let me offer a huge shoutout to all of you. Not only did you pray for me (thank you so much), but you also generously and tactfully reminded me of my own advice. Someone suggested I re-read “That time I failed to take the red pill” from Lesson 110 in my book, The Course in Miracles Experiment. Others sent quotes from my other books.
Like Taz, who would sometimes call me out with, “Mom, do you really want to put that out there in the universe?” you helped me “turn the other cheek” which simply means choosing to move in a different direction.
I, of all people, should know that I literally surrender my life force to whatever I put my attention upon. So big hefty thanks all around!
Perhaps my best realization is remembering, like the Course says, that what I see ”out there” is not the deepest reality. My wonky interpretation of life is hardly some great ultimate truth. Something far greater and vast than my squirrely mind gives form and meaning to my existence. And the best part is it continues to work behind the scenes even when I choose not to be aware of it.
Right next to the track of my egoic mind that relentlessly goes over the same tired terrain is this other track, this incredible beauty/light/love track that moves below the level of thought.
Taz reminded me this morning of a book I read many years ago by Natalie Sudman. While working as an archaeologist in Iraq, Natalie was blown up by a roadside bomb. She had a near-death experience that completely upturned her life. The part Taz reminded me of was Natalie’s comedy sketch with her spirit guides. I say comedy sketch because, as they (the spirit guides and Natalie) worked together to repair her severe injuries and plot her next mission here on earth, they began one-upping each other with wild scenarios of possibilities. “What if you came back as paraplegic?” and then they’d all laugh uproariously or “What if you had no money for this next stage of your life?” again gleefully guffawing at all these crazy life experiences that are all available in the deck of cards.
I know this sounds rather cheeky, but Taz knew it was just what I needed to hear. She also reminded me of the movie, Stripes. Remember Francis, the surly, intense recruit who stood up during boot camp to announce that while his name was Francis Sawyer, everybody should call him Psycho? Furthermore, he warned, if anyone dare call me Francis, “I’ll kill ya.”
At that point, Army Sergeant Hulka jumps in with this now-famous line: “Lighten up, Francis!”
So thanks again to everyone who helped pick me up, dust me off and steer me back to the place within myself that is not subject to harm, change or even death.
I’ll probably forget again, but thank ya, Jesus, I have lots of tools and lots of beautiful tender friends who, like me, are just trying to find their way back home. #222 Forever
Pam Grout is the author of 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind (And Therefore Your World) that has just been turned into an app. Badass ACIM (badass-acim.com)