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Rearranging the furniture in my mind

If you’re going to keep your sanity, the only choice is spirit.”—Americ Azevedo  

First, let me offer a huge shoutout to all of you. Not only did you pray for me (thank you so much), but you also generously and tactfully reminded me of my own advice. Someone suggested I re-read “That time I failed to take the red pill” from Lesson 110 in my book, The Course in Miracles Experiment. Others sent quotes from my other books.

Like Taz, who would sometimes call me out with, “Mom, do you really want to put that out there in the universe?” you helped me “turn the other cheek” which simply means choosing to move in a different direction.

I, of all people, should know that I literally surrender my life force to whatever I put my attention upon. So big hefty thanks all around!  

Perhaps my best realization is remembering, like the Course says, that what I see ”out there” is not the deepest reality. My wonky interpretation of life is hardly some great ultimate truth. Something far greater and vast than my squirrely mind gives form and meaning to my existence.   And the best part is it continues to work behind the scenes even when I choose not to be aware of it.

Right next to the track of my egoic mind that relentlessly goes over the same tired terrain is this other track, this incredible beauty/light/love track that moves below the level of thought.

Taz reminded me this morning of a book I read many years ago by Natalie Sudman. While working as an archaeologist in Iraq, Natalie was blown up by a roadside bomb. She had a near-death experience that completely upturned her life. The part Taz reminded me of was Natalie’s comedy sketch with her spirit guides. I say comedy sketch because, as they (the spirit guides and Natalie) worked together to repair her severe injuries and plot her next mission here on earth, they began one-upping each other with wild scenarios of possibilities. “What if you came back as paraplegic?” and then they’d all laugh uproariously or “What if you had no money for this next stage of your life?” again gleefully guffawing at all these crazy life experiences that are all available in the deck of cards.

I know this sounds rather cheeky, but Taz knew it was just what I needed to hear. She also reminded me of the movie, Stripes. Remember Francis, the surly, intense recruit who stood up during boot camp to announce that while his name was Francis Sawyer, everybody should call him Psycho? Furthermore, he warned, if anyone dare call me Francis, “I’ll kill ya.”

At that point, Army Sergeant Hulka jumps in with this now-famous line: “Lighten up, Francis!”

So thanks again to everyone who helped pick me up, dust me off and steer me back to the place within myself that is not subject to harm, change or even death.

I’ll probably forget again, but thank ya, Jesus, I have lots of tools and lots of beautiful tender friends who, like me, are just trying to find their way back home. #222 Forever

Pam Grout is the author of 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind (And Therefore Your World) that has just been turned into an app. Badass ACIM (badass-acim.com)

27 Responses

  1. Hi Pam
    Thanks so much for your last post, it is just what I needed.
    But today I also ended up reading lesson 294 which is also exactly what I needed…but I would like a more profound understanding of this lesson…I feel that I really need to master this lesson.
    Thank you so much in advance and sending you lots of love💕

  2. Hi Pam. Today has been spent talking with metal artists who are working with me to design an extraordinary sign: TAZ GROUT’S HOT DIRT. 222FOUNDATION. WELCOME!…..I get so wound up in the art I lose myself & sometimes lose sight of others’ needs. Your post was beautiful – I heard your call, but while I have been mulling over wise & gentle words to comfort you, your on the ball friends, well, they were already there for you – YAY for quick friends! Master Lin from Spring Forest Qi Gong has words that help me in the hours when hard lessons lick me in the teeth: “I am in the universe. The universe is in my body. The universe & I combine together.” Simple. Profound. I hope this helps you. Love, Dawna

  3. Pam, you are a shining light and brave, strong human! Thank you! And also thank you for your previous post. It felt comforting to know that even you can be down from time to time.

    I love Natalie Sudman too! Just in case you or another reader here don’t know him yet: I ‘d like to recommend Jeffrey Olsen’s story of his NDE. Beautifully told on YT by Anthony Chene Production. Deeply touching and comforting. (But it will make you cry.)

    Much love!

  4. Love you so much. And the sojourners here, too, who respond to your posts. This is just a love fest. Your posts and the responses just light up my life. We shine for each other to illuminate the way. How cool is that?

  5. Thank you for putting yourself out there for us. I have thought of you often since your last post. I hope you felt lifted up in love.

  6. > > Sending you lots of love peace and light ✨💕

    It is a hard journey with lots of ups and downs. Having had my shared of losses in life and as a social worker i have learned that you do have to feel your way through the pain and surrender to it in order for it to pass. It is part of the healing process. You are my favorite writer and I love all you teach about tuning into the positive but one must not forget to feel the pain when it comes crashing like waves with a mind of its own. Grief can be overwhelming but when it comes let it. With time it should heal. It took me over 10 years of running from dealing with the loss of my brother who was murdered because I was running from the pain. The best thing I finally did was to feel it and talk about it with a counsellour.

    Lots of love to you ♥️ > > > Sent from my iPhone > >>>

  7. Thank you Pam, you move honesty beyond virtue to a place of beauty.

    As always, much love to you x

  8. Hi Pam,
    This is such a heart felt blog. I’m sending you peace and much love.
    I love your books! Thank you for sending out your wisdom and generosity to the world.

  9. Big hugs! And how easy it is to forget what we know and slip into “human” mode. I love Natalie Sudman’s story and absolutely remember the part you mentioned about her trying on various injuries to see what her life would be like – a bit like Goldilocks checking out the 3 little bears’ beds. And yes, we’re all walking each other back home.

  10. Pam,
    I was introduced to E2 at a most opportune time (of course) by a colleague to whom I will be ever grateful to. I was in phase two of a major life transformation and floundering big time. I latched on to every word, performed very experiment, and wrote (in red lipstick) on my bathroom mirror, “something simply amazing could happen today.” And, it did. My life transformed in ways I never before would have imagined. I have continued to follow you through the years and I have most of your books stacked by my comfy brown reading chair – when I need inspiration you are always there. Thank you.

    Your story resonated with me because I too am a ministers daughter. And, I married a minister. Yep, you heard me right.

    About eight years before I met you through your books, one Sunday afternoon (between pastor wives duties) I was meandering, as I often did, through Barnes and Noble not looking for anything in particular – just wandering really. As I passed through one section, my eyes were drawn down to the bottom shelf and a book titled, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd jumped out at me. If you don’t know, Sue was raised in the fundamental Christian world and and was a well known religious author in her circles (I didn’t know that when I purchased the book.) This was her transformational story.

    I left that world almost 12 years ago but I still have moments when I am haunted by it. It always take me by surprise.

    My mentors unaware are what help keep me grounded, and while I have many, you and Sue Monk Kidd are special because we came from similar places.

    So, if I can give back to you in a very small way, this is my word of encouragement to you from my inspiration file.

    “Make a commitment to practice self compassion. Release yourself from the burdens of perfectionism, allow yourself the grace to be human and give back to others.” Colette Baron-Reed

    You are that person and I thank you for being your authentic self – as always, I am inspired.

    The Clean Wine Lady

    P.S. As I scrolled through my inspiration file in search of something that might be an encouragement to you, a picture of a clock with the time 222 popped up. I don’t remember saving that image but it’s the reason I decided to share this with you today.

  11. Thank you so much for sharing what you’ve been through. It really gives me the courage to continue with my life and all of its twists and turns.

  12. Yes we are all doing our best to find our way back home! Anyone who comes to this earth life is super brave! Stick with Taz at your side, she’s got your back 24/7. Thanks for sharing all of this, we are all here for you my dear friend!

  13. If there were no Darkness, we would never appreciate LIGHT! I was at a Zoom meeting earlier which featured Marci Shimoff (“Happy for no Reason”) as a speaker. She led us through a lovely meditation in which we held our hand to our hearts, and sent blessings to those who annoyed us the most! I share it with all of you:
    ‘If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free…Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.’
    Thank you for being human, dear Pam!

  14. Hi Pam, When I read your post about you being down, I will admit that I was a bit taken aback because your persona is usually so upbeat. I find myself saying, how can Pam be so optimistic all the time especially after the death of a child. Then I realized that you were brave enough to show your humanity, and how you have chosen to live your life.

    Thank you for giving me the ‘okay’ to have my three minutes to wah,wah,wah. Have the most awesome day ever. Your friend, Nancy H.

  15. Dear darling Pam
    I am going to savour the rest of this email. You have brought tears to my eyes. I do not cry,]
    I am 70 with childldren and grandchildren. I love what you have taught me about death.

  16. So proud of you Pam! We all need those reminders and we all need friends to point us away from what we do not want to a different and happier direction. Sending Hugs to YOU!!

  17. Hi Pam , I have been staying in the “Divine Buzz” a lot lately and this morning when I was doing
    my morning gratitude walk ( Thank you very much for telling about the amazing power of doing this! )
    a song just flew into my head …this happens a lot lately.

    I have probably not heard this song since I was 10 years old , but I have to say that it is the BEST stay in the divine buzz song EVER. Your readers may already be doing this but if not I highly recommend that you start today . Just learn the melody ( You will find many versions on youtube) here are the lyrics: Song is Zip-a-dee-doo-dah ( my favorite version on youtube is the original with James Basket , buit Sinatra does it also ) Anyway , if you sing this simple song during the day if will instantly put you into the vibration of feeling good NOW! and keep you in the magic and miracles zone of the Divine Buzz…thanks for all your great books !

    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
    Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

    Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder
    It’s the truth, it’s “actch’ll”
    Everything is “satisfactch’ll”

    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!
    Yes, sir

    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
    Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

    Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder
    It’s the truth, it’s “actch’ll”
    Everything is “satisfactch’ll”

    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    Wonderful feeling, feeling this way!

    Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder
    It is the truth, it’s “actch’ll”, hm?

    Where is that bluebird?

    Everything is “satisfactch’ll”
    Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
    Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!

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