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Be your unapologetically weird self.

“God wants us to put this stuff down now. He wants us to wear the world like a loose garment. And be of good cheer.”—Mary Karrbe-of-good-cheer

I headlined this post with the advice venture capitalist Chris Sacca gave to the 2011 graduates of the Carlton School of Management.

Every last one of us is weird and different and that’s a beautiful thing. Diversity is not something to be threatened by. Or to avoid. It’s to be celebrated.

Instead of reaching for the spring-loaded trigger, we should all bust out laughing. The commentary on this blog over the last few days reminds me of a Saturday Night Live sketch. And I’m a huge fan of Saturday Night Live.

Thank you all. I so appreciate your support, your funny comments (imagine disowning someone because they prefer bleu cheese salad dressing or penny loafers) and the reminders that baby, it’s high time to rev up our love engines.

Those old habits of defending our positions might have worked in cavemen days, when saber tooth tigers were trying to rip elk meat from our baby’s mouth. But it’s 2016.

And it’s time to create some new habits, some new beliefs. It’s time to quit gnawing on old miseries and start enjoying the now.

Several of you wondered why I would apologize. It’s not because I did anything wrong. It’s because it felt like the loving choice. Because it’s my spiritual practice to know that, in Truth, nothing can hurt me.

So if I’m asked to apologize, why not? One of my many gurus said if someone asks for your cloak give them your “Vote for Pedro” t-shirt, as well.

Remember it isn’t agreement with others we need. It’s agreement with ourselves.

So I’m hoping the uproar can die down and we can all get back to dreaming, loving, believing in new possibilities.

Again, thank you all so very much.

Pam Grout is the author of 17 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and its equally-scintillating sequel, E-Cubed, 9 More Experiments that Prove Mirth

39 Responses

  1. Woman, you have helped me in many, many ways, plus, you are on the spear point with so many other powerful, housewives, creatives, and fearless females, that I feel optimistic for our collective future…keep posting whatever you want, we have your back……..Michael

  2. Ms. Grout, I am really taken aback by this post. To read your words that “commentary on this blog over the last few days reminds me of a Saturday Night Live sketch.” is quite an insult to those who took their time, whether pro or con, to express their point of view. To hear you liken their words to a Saturday Night live sketch is quite outrageous. While I am a great admirer of your work, I think you are taking the concept of ” in Truth, nothing can hurt me.” a bit too far… this really was never about you, it was about the impact on others.

    1. Years ago I used to watch the “talking heads” on TV.

      They’d argue back and forth, but I don’t think I EVER heard any of them change their minds about anything.

      That’s probably true here too. Maybe the SNL comparison isn’t so far off the mark.

  3. Ms Grout,

    I’m not taken aback by your post, I love the Saturday night live analogy because SNL is outrageously funny. And I appreciate that you took the time to read all the comments whether pros or cons and addressed them. I’m still a great admirer of your work and I agree nothing can hurt you ..or any of us for that matter. Because at the end of the day our impact on others begin by the one we have on ourselves !

  4. I’ve been seeing a recurring theme a lot lately- some people seem to go out of their way to find offense in everything.

    I don’t agree with some of your political views, but I still adore you! Our differences make life exciting.

    Waive your personal freak flag, baby! I’ll be right beside you waiving mine. 😘

  5. I share your humor. Watching a portion of the brawl debate I saw the inability of practicing “be of good cheer.” Only uptight, stressed out dudes, was what I saw. I am with you, girl!

  6. Amen, sister! I wholeheartedly disagree with you politically, but I still love your messages, and your fun mindset, and your loving heart. We can disagree and still be friends. It happens all the time IRL, why not here???

  7. This thing about your expressing your support for a particular candidate in the upcoming U.S. Presidential election and some people’s reaction to it seems to have affected you greatly. I read where one person said that you shouldn’t get into politics, or something to that effect. I think that not enough people get into politics and that IS the problem. Now some people think that the “Dog and Pony show” that is shown on the news is politics; actually, this is the proverbial red herring. I can explain further if you want.

    According to the Online Etymology Dictionary the word “politics” comes from “science of government,” from politic (adj.), modeled on Aristotle’s ta politika “affairs of state,” the name of his book on governing and governments, which was in English mid-15c. as “Polettiques.” The first 15 words of the U.S. Constitution are probably the most important of the document, although recently we seem to have problems defining the first 7 words. Everyone seems to want a leader but no one wants to be one; everyone wants a hero but no one wants to be one. How easy it is to sit back and pass judgement on people when that same person might have difficulty listing their own merits for contributing to those first 15 words of the constitution. Contrary to what one candidate seems to cling to it’s not the country that makes the people great, it’s the people that makes the country great, with all of their different experiences and backgrounds. The people being able to share these experiences and ideas are what make new discoveries possible. If we all thought the same way how could we possibly solve any problems?

    One of my favorite people is Bruce Lee. He is known for his martial arts but what many don’t know him for is his philosophy. Here are a couple of his quotes that I think are appropriate:

    “I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude.”

    “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not you go out and look for a successfull personality an duplicate it.”

    “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee

    Keep doing what you’re doing Pam! I think if you were doing anything out of malice then you would know it or the Universe would surely show it to you. Like in Gershwin’s “Let’s call the whole thing off” we can disagree, but we can disagree without being disagreeable.

  8. If women (among others) did not express their feelings about elections, they would not yet have the right to vote. I doubt the women who started the suffrage movement felt the need to apologize. Pam, sorry that you felt the need to apologize – it was not needed. Am ready to move on to more of your marvelous inspiration. Linda

  9. I get daily quotes from Alan Cohen. Today’s was this one from Bette Midler:

    “Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.”

    Anyway, I was surprised to hear Bill Maher count Ann Coulter as his friend. Talk about political differences – but he said they were personal friends anyway.

    Sounds here though like there were a lot of babies lost when the bath water went out.

    You were never a yawn, Pam.

  10. Pam: What blog post and comments engendered your apologizing??? What did I somehow miss???

    Sent from my iPhone


  11. You’re just so damn terrific! I’m so grateful you’re alive in my lifetime so I can benefit from your wisdom and humor. Thanks for all you do!

  12. My initial response was, “Whose blog is this, anyway?” Well done. I didn’t think you needed to apologize for having preferences (and expressing them), so thank you for explaining that.

  13. Many good analogies from your followers. I’m sorry if the backlash from some of your followers has dampened your spirits a bit. You did not have to apologize for your feelings, but you did, out of an act of being the bigger person. I wish people would just move on. And if they don’t like what they are reading, they don’t have to continue!

  14. Is there anyone in Federal Way Washington or south king county area that is having Pam Grout type meetings? My wife and I would Love to attend. Please leave a massage or send e-mail to glittle68a@gmail.com

  15. Hi Pam

    I was catching up on all your recent posts last night and I read and loved your post about Bernie Sandwich and then was astonished that you received such back lash about it but then I thought why am I surprised as I had only written earlier in the day after watching the film The Matrix that it reminded me that the majority of people hate change and will defend and fight to protect the familiar and how Marconi was institutionalised for suggesting that messages could be sent wirelessly. Who’d could think such a thing ;).

    I was devastated that you considered to stop blogging and questioned why you should apologise but I have caught up with your posts now so I understand and can breath a sigh of relief.

    I received a negative comment recently when I posted one of my posts. It suggested that Wayne Dyer was a freud and I should not be proud of being different and should get back in the ‘normal’ box with everyone else and not flaunt my diversity.

    Yes it stung a little but then I thought I don’t plan to be the way I am, it is authentic. When I was at school we all had to paint a daffodil. Out of the whole class I was the only one who painted the back. That angle interested me most. On my first day at art college we were all sent outside to study the environment and discuss our findings. I was last and became quite self-conscious as everyone discussed their observations of man’s degradation on the earth and considered what was wrong with me when what I had observed was despite what ever we did to the environment nature seemed to over come. Plants broke through tarmac, moss was growing on street signs. I had a positive experience, not negative one.

    I’m not sure if the attached picture will show so I’ll write it as well. I just remember now if someone doesn’t agree with me what Dita Von Teese say’s:

    “You can be the ripest juiciest peach in the world – and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches”

    Just keep rocking our world Pam and who knows in a 100 years time when people accept that happiness and joy is the natural way, you and your books will have gone down in history that you were the ones that brought them to the party.

    Much love as always x


  16. “Several of you wondered why I would apologize. It’s not because I did anything wrong. It’s because it felt like the loving choice.”… Brilliant 🙂

  17. Pam, I’m glad this whole issue raised the discussion about apologizing. It’s a powerful, healing action. As is Ho`oponopono: I love you…I am you and you are me; I’m sorry…for any part I may have played in causing separation; Please forgive me; Thank you.

  18. You definitely hit a nerve with the Sanders blog. It immediately made me think less if you. I almost unsubscribed but luckily for myself I saw the last couple posts. So thanks for what you do but please stay out of politics.

    Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE DROID


  19. You are truly a kind soul. Not following politics so none of this affects me. But I do love how sincere and positive you are. Thank you for the upbeat messages of hope.


    Sent from my iPhone


  20. Bless your sweet, lil ol heart!
    How beautiful that you chose this as a teaching moment since, ‘everything is here to help us.’
    Love up on yourself, but good!

  21. Pam, you are a wonderfully beautiful person! Your posts are something I look forward to everyday and although I’m from Sydney, Australia and I didn’t really understand the uproar over a candidate, I applaud your simplicity in finding something so very positive to say about a person.. As you say, spreading love is all we should be doing!
    Please be the unapologetic you that helps so many of us around the world to see a bright light everyday. Thank you!

  22. Pam, you are such an inspiration. I am saddened that a difference of beliefs always seems to bring out the “ugliness” in some. Your apology was very unnecessary, but the love you gave it with showed what your true spirit is; one of love and peace. What a joy it is to have your writings to read . I love your positive thoughts. Thank you for being you!!!!

  23. Pam, you are such a great example of grace and joy- Thank you for sharing and being so honest,, at the same time your happy spirit shines thru!!!!

  24. Hi, I am German and I really cannot understand, what the problem is. Why should Pam Grout not give her political meaning publicly? Is the US not a free country? Has not everybody the right to speak his or her personal truth? And besides, she was not mean to anybody. Where is the love??

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