“Learning is slowed less by lack of intelligence than by a reluctance to let go of bankrupt ideas and exhausted ways of seeing.” –D. Patrick Miller
As you partygoers know, I’m all about community. And one of my most treasured communities is the tribe I’ve met through my books and here on this blog.
Today, I’m delighted to share a guest post from Linda Ford, master life coach and one of the many pals I’ve met here in cyberspace.
With no further adieu, here’s Linda:
Is Your Life about LOVE or FEAR?
When I first started dating my husband, I went through an uncomfortable phase of not really knowing whether he loved me as much as I loved him. I wanted so much to just relax in my love for him…to give in and let my affections be known. But I purposefully put the brakes on and held myself back out of fear that he didn’t care for me in the same way.
I’ve come to see that the act of falling in love is a perfect metaphor for the relationship we each have with that larger than life partner–the universe. The dynamics are exactly the same. And wouldn’t you know, there are just as many variations of how that relationship gets played out.
Some of us show up with high expectations knowing that the universe has the potential to be one great partner. We dive right in. We’re optimistic, unabashed, playful, trusting, and eager to do whatever it takes to keep our relationship vibrant. We take the risk because we know that the price of missing out on the possibility of joy would be too great a loss.
And then there are those of us who just never quite relax, let go, and trust that the universe really loves us and has our back. We hold the relationship at arm’s length…just in case something goes wrong…just in case it’s not as benevolent and honorable as we had hoped. We dilute our true feelings, we don’t ask for what we really want, and instead, play it safe. We put on our armor, because the fear of disappointment is too much to bear.
How would you describe your relationship with the universe?
You may think it odd to know that you have a relationship with the universe. But you do. In fact, it’s actually one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have. Think about it. You’re interacting with it at every single moment. You’re getting constant feedback about how you’re showing up. It never ignores or neglects you. And best of all…what the universe is capable of giving you in return for your love, supersedes any relationship you will ever have with a mere mortal.
It all sounds so wonderful in theory. The question is: do you really believe this relationship exists? And if so, are you showing up with an enthusiasm to really LOVE, or are you holding yourself back due to fear and doubt?
I know what it feels like to have an open and trusting relationship—I have one now with my husband. And so, I’ve noticed that my relationship with the universe doesn’t always match up to that high standard—in fact, it sometimes feels a little off.
How do I know this? I sometimes feel scared and suspicious that it’s going to bite back and disappoint me…make me feel sad…..use me…or worst of all…ignore me if I tell it what I really want. I get scared that if I raise my expectations…if I dream BIG….I may end up getting trampled on and dumped. And like any insecure lover, I end up feeling suspicious, fearful, manipulative, controlling, and joyless. A very unattractive partner.
Albert Einstein said that there is only one question worth asking; the answer to which determines your entire outlook on life and affects everything that you desire for yourself.
Do you believe the Universe is friendly or unfriendly?
I’ve personally spent too many years fearing the universe. And who wouldn’t? It’s BIG and POWERFUL. And there’s so much that could go wrong. But in all fairness, there is also so much that could go right….right? Which is why I’ve decided that I’d rather be in love than be in fear. I may not have always gotten everything I’ve wanted…and I’ve had my heart broken a few times…but, that’s just the way life goes. Ultimately, I’ve accepted that we’re here to have experiences.
Developing an intimate and loving relationship with someone requires that we get to know them and they get to know us. And in order to do that we have to risk getting close, being authentic, and taking a risk to be vulnerable. It’s no different with the universe. It wants to get close you…it wants to know you….love you…and give you want you want. It wants to see YOUR LOVE. But it will never happen if it can’t get near you.
What would it take for you to start telling the story that the universe is truly friendly? What stories would you have to let go in order to let down your guard…to trust…to show up in life with enthusiasm…to raise your expectations…to believe that the universe truly has your back?
Why not risk it, and see what happens.
Linda Ford is a Master certified coach and LOA expert. She teaches women how to break out of a lifestyle that’s blocking their success and the unleashing of their full potential. Linda has been personally trained by Dr. Martha Beck, NY Times best-selling author. Her website is: http://www.attractalife.com
As a child of the 60’s, a lot of the articles here resonate strongly with what I believed back in the day. Alas, i became a corporate person and now in early retirement, i find that what i beieved in back then and what is being discussed here is more relevant than ever.
I guess what I’m clumsily trying to say is “thank you” for reawakening a mindset that had long ago disappeared.
WOW!!! I really needed to read this today. And to think I almost waited til tomorrow to check my email. :):) SOOOO glad I found you Pam ….Thanks :):)
WOW !!! I soo needed this today…and to think I almost waited til tomorrow to check my email.:):)Thank you again Pam for sharing your insights …You’re blogs & E-Squared have really changed my life :):)
This post is like a gift that comes when you need it most. I have been working on exactly the challenges Linda Ford writes about: mainly, how to have courage to truly open up and love the universe. It’s not as simple as just saying that you’re going to do it. And it’s so natural to want to avoid being the jilted lover. But I would like to share a trick that I learned from reading Kamal Ravikant’s book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. Note: I am not a friend or associate of Mr Ravikant and he doesn’t know I exist and will probably never even see this blog comment. I truly just want to tell you that 10 days ago I began following his practice of saying “I love myself” as often as I can throughout the day and it is like a magic key that opens a secret door to a vast treasure. And not only do I say it, I feel it as deeply as I can, until my gut is vibrating with energy. Suddenly, loving the universe became less frightening and even welcoming. However I hadn’t really made the connection of love vs fear until I read Linda’s post. Thank you!
thanks for this Bill. I’ve concluded that being able to truly love yourself is the biggest and most powerful thing we can do to attract our best life. If we can get this down, we’ll have a successful life.
A conclusion I came to (not long ago) is that it makes no sense that God would create me – an apparent act of approval – then dump me into a universe hostile to what He created.
Growing-up, it seemed He had. But then I saw it was my ideas about myself I had been bumping into.
Great post, Linda, thanks!
love this Dennis! one of my favorite quotes is from Joseph Campbell: “the gods will give you what you want, but you have to be ready for it.”
It’s always and INSIDE JOB!
Hey Pam and Linda,
I LOVEd reading your post, thank you so much for posting and sending it. Giving me some more courage to ask and trust.
Love from Australia, Kristina
Kristina Paul +61-409-066386
Sent from my iPhone
I love this post. It really resonates with me.
thank you for all your wonderful comments. Choosing LOVE is such a leap of faith, but the prize is a BIG life.
I’m a bit behind but have been struggling with that very question. This week I had to write a story for class and wrote about the voice that continually saves me from catastrophe. How can the Universe be unfriendly and do that kind of thing? It can’t. So now I remind myself daily that I am loved beyond measure and will act accordingly. The other comments on this blog are also helpful reminders. I’m glad I got here later to see the other comments. 🙂 Thanks for a very helpful post.
I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your sites
really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark
your site to come back down the road. Cheers
Thanks for one’s marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you are a
great author. I will always bookmark your blog and will come back
from now on. I want to encourage you continue your great posts, have a nice weekend!
Hi Linda. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful article. Everything you expressed rang so true.