“Learning is slowed less by lack of intelligence than by a reluctance to let go of bankrupt ideas and exhausted ways of seeing.” –D. Patrick Miller
As you partygoers know, I’m all about community. And one of my most treasured communities is the tribe I’ve met through my books and here on this blog.
Today, I’m delighted to share a guest post from Linda Ford, master life coach and one of the many pals I’ve met here in cyberspace.
With no further adieu, here’s Linda:
Is Your Life about LOVE or FEAR?
When I first started dating my husband, I went through an uncomfortable phase of not really knowing whether he loved me as much as I loved him. I wanted so much to just relax in my love for him…to give in and let my affections be known. But I purposefully put the brakes on and held myself back out of fear that he didn’t care for me in the same way.
I’ve come to see that the act of falling in love is a perfect metaphor for the relationship we each have with that larger than life partner–the universe. The dynamics are exactly the same. And wouldn’t you know, there are just as many variations of how that relationship gets played out.
Some of us show up with high expectations knowing that the universe has the potential to be one great partner. We dive right in. We’re optimistic, unabashed, playful, trusting, and eager to do whatever it takes to keep our relationship vibrant. We take the risk because we know that the price of missing out on the possibility of joy would be too great a loss.
And then there are those of us who just never quite relax, let go, and trust that the universe really loves us and has our back. We hold the relationship at arm’s length…just in case something goes wrong…just in case it’s not as benevolent and honorable as we had hoped. We dilute our true feelings, we don’t ask for what we really want, and instead, play it safe. We put on our armor, because the fear of disappointment is too much to bear.
How would you describe your relationship with the universe?
You may think it odd to know that you have a relationship with the universe. But you do. In fact, it’s actually one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have. Think about it. You’re interacting with it at every single moment. You’re getting constant feedback about how you’re showing up. It never ignores or neglects you. And best of all…what the universe is capable of giving you in return for your love, supersedes any relationship you will ever have with a mere mortal.
It all sounds so wonderful in theory. The question is: do you really believe this relationship exists? And if so, are you showing up with an enthusiasm to really LOVE, or are you holding yourself back due to fear and doubt?
I know what it feels like to have an open and trusting relationship—I have one now with my husband. And so, I’ve noticed that my relationship with the universe doesn’t always match up to that high standard—in fact, it sometimes feels a little off.
How do I know this? I sometimes feel scared and suspicious that it’s going to bite back and disappoint me…make me feel sad…..use me…or worst of all…ignore me if I tell it what I really want. I get scared that if I raise my expectations…if I dream BIG….I may end up getting trampled on and dumped. And like any insecure lover, I end up feeling suspicious, fearful, manipulative, controlling, and joyless. A very unattractive partner.
Albert Einstein said that there is only one question worth asking; the answer to which determines your entire outlook on life and affects everything that you desire for yourself.
Do you believe the Universe is friendly or unfriendly?
I’ve personally spent too many years fearing the universe. And who wouldn’t? It’s BIG and POWERFUL. And there’s so much that could go wrong. But in all fairness, there is also so much that could go right….right? Which is why I’ve decided that I’d rather be in love than be in fear. I may not have always gotten everything I’ve wanted…and I’ve had my heart broken a few times…but, that’s just the way life goes. Ultimately, I’ve accepted that we’re here to have experiences.
Developing an intimate and loving relationship with someone requires that we get to know them and they get to know us. And in order to do that we have to risk getting close, being authentic, and taking a risk to be vulnerable. It’s no different with the universe. It wants to get close you…it wants to know you….love you…and give you want you want. It wants to see YOUR LOVE. But it will never happen if it can’t get near you.
What would it take for you to start telling the story that the universe is truly friendly? What stories would you have to let go in order to let down your guard…to trust…to show up in life with enthusiasm…to raise your expectations…to believe that the universe truly has your back?
Why not risk it, and see what happens.
Linda Ford is a Master certified coach and LOA expert. She teaches women how to break out of a lifestyle that’s blocking their success and the unleashing of their full potential. Linda has been personally trained by Dr. Martha Beck, NY Times best-selling author. Her website is: http://www.attractalife.com