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Why the F Word and I roll deep, Part 2

lamott“Celebrate the madness
The joy
Of seeing God

I’ve devised a simple test for determining what’s important. If it’s widely misunderstood, it’s probably worth my attention.

Case in point: the word “God”—more baggage than a Samsonite store, completely misconceived, the coolest force on the planet. That’s why I rarely call it God.

Love is another word weighted down with misperceptions. We actually believe it’s something we have to find. In reality, it’s who we are, why we’re here, the only thing worthy of our time.

Today, I’d like to bring up another word with massive baggage problems. The F word. Forgiveness.

Most of us think it’s an act we’re forced to perform when horrific jerks do us wrong.
Forgiveness, as I see it, is realizing that no one HAS the power to do me wrong. To believe someone or something outside myself can hurt me is what started all the problems in the first place. It negates the Truth of who I am.

Being pissed off unplugs me from the F.P, this wild and crazy force that’s constantly trying to bless me. It erects a big wall between me and my highest good.

Believing outside forces can hurt me stunts my growth. Blinds me to all the miracles. Creates an illusory world that makes me want to hide, feel guilty, close down.

Each of us is here to strengthen the life force–in ourselves and in each other. If we point fingers and believe something outside ourselves can hurt us, we put the squeeze on this unbelievably cool and ever-present life force.

If anyone had the right to hold a grudge, it was Nelson Mandela. He was imprisoned for 27 years, three of his children died before he did, his second wife Winnie took a lover and his government treated him no better than a dog.

But instead of letting those injustices take away his dignity, his superpower of love, he used them to solidify a vision for a better world. He refused to BE imprisoned.

ACIM Lesson 62 reminds me of the real reason I want to forgive.  Because I want to be happy.

Forgiving, it says, removes strain and fatigue. It takes away fear, guilt and pain. It makes me invulnerable. But, as far as I’m concerned, I’m down with forgiveness because it brings me joy.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her new book, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

40 Responses

  1. Funny this is the topic and no I haven’t been reading A Course in Miracles lately but this morning and last night I was thinking about forgiveness and forgiving myself for creating the things that cause me to feel so much pain, anger, etc. Forgiving myself for believing in limits to my good. Forgiving myself for ever thinking I am an adversary to myself. Forgiving myself for ever thinking the answers were outside of me and not inside of me.
    Thank you for reminding me of this. I always need to remember to forgive.

    1. Touche Christina- me too! Your post gave me extra food for thought on other ways I can forgive myself as well. Thank you !

  2. WELL PUT!
    FYI – i prefer to be called a ‘Jesus Freak’ (like we were called during the 60s Jesus Movement ) because so many people called Christian give the Creator a horrible image.

    1. Jesus freak–love it! My possibility posse and I have a running joke about Sneaky Jesus! How he comes in and fixes things when we least expect it!

  3. I LOVE THIS PRACTICE!!! Thank you so much for these lessons!!!! Part of my every morning ❤️🌟💫⭐️🎉

  4. This is one lesson I got a number of years ago and has made my life so much more peaceful ever since. I understand that I don’t have to subject myself to someones continual disrespect but that I allowed it to take place. I can leave the situation with love and peace in my heart and not carry the crap around for decades like some folks I see. This is a big one. Takes away blame. Thanks for putting such a perfect spin on it.

  5. I never thought of forgiveness like that, but I like it from this perspective. I don’t think I totally understand forgiveness though. For instance, I have someone very near to me that chooses to live their life like a Tasmanian Devil ….out of control and destroying everything in their path (primarily due to substance abuse I think). I love them and I’m no longer pissed off for the destruction they’ve created in the past. I’d like to think that means I’ve forgiven them, but I don’t want them back in my life. I choose to keep them at arms length. Does that mean I’ve really forgiven them? This is someone I love deeply and always will. I gave birth to her.
    Any thoughts? I know it’s probably not a simple fix. I just want to live my best life. Am I being selfish? If I don’t forget prior indiscretions is that truly forgiveness?

    1. What I’ve noticed is that when I completely let go of my story about someone, everything changes. That’s what forgiveness means to me. Letting everything and everyone be new. Every day. Today doesn’t have to be a repeat unless we choose to watch a re-run of our story. Blessings to you and your beautiful Tasmanian Devil.

      1. Thank you for this explanation! I love it 😍Every day is a clean slate … for everyone, including me 🌈❤️

  6. I, personally, with your help and a lot of others, have come to understand that there is nothing to forgive. I don’t believe in right/wrong or good/evil. I don’t believe in (whisper) “sin”. We are hear and we are who we are doing what we are doing. Are there consequences? Yes. But we have control over everything through LofA. That power has transformed my life and I see evidence of it every day. Now, when things seem rough, I take a “it all works out. Not worth worrying about” philosophy and it always does, Always!!!

  7. This was a MASSIVELY significant post for me today . ( Last night I asked for help – and in comes Cavalry Pam to the rescue !) In short- I have been putting up posters in my apartment block, with inspirational and sometimes funny quotes by Pam Grout, Steven Wright, various teachers etc, Most people in my block are loving them . People are laughing and smiling even ! All except one. Yep- there is a curmudgeon in our building who seems to have lost his way in life- who relishes in being miserable. He takes them down constantly. I put them back up again constantly. He mistakenly thinks it will really annoy me . I must admit- I did feel frustrated by his actions and found myself focusing on him , far more than I would have liked. I tried to bless him with light as I didn’t want to take on his low level vibration. But when I did bless him , it just didn’t feel authentic ( although I do feel sorry for someone who must be in deep pain to be so angry all the time)
    So – I was fearful that I was being cut off from the Fabulous Life force by thinking about him too much. So last night I asked for help – and voila- this morning there is Pam’s post – explaining I don’t have to love the curmudgeon ! I just have to realise that his actions can’t hurt me! And they don’t. I don’t have to get upset about his negative ways . I just have to focus on my own light and being happy. Easy Peasy! Thank you Pam!

      1. You know Pam, I mean no disrespect but our crew here has better answers than I find in the mine of my soul, sometimes.

        Thanks again Pam for all that you do.

        Mike Stilinovich

      2. PING! PING! PING! The sound of pennies dropping! Wow Pam- you nailed this – I can even thank ( mentally) Curmy ( Curmudgeon ) for being a fabulous teacher. I feel totally different now . Wow- Im gunna get an A+ in life lessons now with my new approach !

  8. Marvellous Pam! Simply marvellous! This is one of the best, clearest explanations of what forgiveness is and why it’s nothing to be afraid of, nor is it what we “should” do. Here’s to getting down with the F word and discovering the joy it brings 😁

    1. I love that you get that–there’s nothing we “should” do. Ever. I do things because I want to, because they make me happy. It’s my bottom line.

      1. Sounds like a great way to live! Get rid of the S word, get down with the F word and experience the J word! Haha! 😁

  9. Hey Pam! I frrreeeeeekin LOVE the F word! And the only energy worth carrying in my piece of the FP is LOVE ❤️ !! Hope your weekend is full of love and joy and peace, my friend 😀

  10. Hello Pam

    I’m hoping one day you can compile all these brilliant lessons into a book – I own a Course in Miracles and when I click through to the link, what I read, however wonderful the news is dry and doesn’t go in – your writing however, sinks right in, straight into my heart and lights me up. You get me, you know how to reach me, I will listen to you. And there is a million of our our there…I’m more than hoping that one day this is a book.

    much, much love Eve

    1. Yes, please. A book! I’ve been thinking the same thing for a few weeks. Of course, only if it will give you joy in the pulling it together for us. 😉

    2. Eve – Yes !!!!! How perfect that would be – and totally agree with everything you said! Warm wishes. Janet

  11. Forgiveness changed my life..it lifts such a weight off of your mind, body, and spirit. It allows me to be present to this beautiful moment not all stuck in my head❤

  12. Thank you, Pam. I’ve not been on the computer in the last few weeks because we were in the process of moving from an ocean front property that we had loved for 20 years and there was no internet service here in the log cabin where we are living now. Several times I would stop and think, why did I create this…as I was not laughing and happy. Instead of laughing, there were tears of grief and sadness and I would say the ho’oponopono in my head. This reminded me to just forgive it all and enjoy and be grateful for what is happening right now, this moment.

  13. Thank you for this take on this batch of lessons! I am a student of the course (this is year #2 for me reading/practicing the daily workbook lessons. Yay me!) and I’ve truly been enjoying your take on daily reflections! They’ve brought me a relatable perspective, which helps so much because I am a “recovering Catholic” who is unraveling a fear based God. No! Out with that! I especially appreciate this post on the lofty word “forgiveness”! I am truly focused on moving away from victim-mode and instead: embracing my gifts. Thank you Pam! Oh and I have e-squared in audio form (which I never finished). I must pull that book out again and practice! Happy day today to all who choose to embrace: I am the Light of the World! Imagine if we all embraced this perspective instead of “hustling for our worth” or defaulting to defensiveness, or fear in any form!?

    And one more thing, because you posted this Hafiz quote, I looked it up and found this one too:

    The Vintage Man

    Between a good artist
    And a great one


    The novice
    Will often lay down his tool
    Or brush

    Then pick up an invisible club
    On the mind’s table

    And helplessly smash the easels and

    Whereas the vintage man
    No longer hurts himself or anyone

    And keeps on


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