Anatomy of a guilt trip

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem.”—Captain Jack Sparrow

My dysfunction of choice has always been guilt. Maybe you’ve been on the same hamster wheel? The one where you obsessively worry about all the things you could have, should have, why didn’t I? do better.

I wrongly believed that if I beat myself up enough I would become a better person. If I listed all my faults and came up with a plan to improve upon each of them, I would finally get the guy, the financial situation, the (fill in the blank) I so desired.

What I finally came to realize is that guilt (and all its mean girl cousins) is a deterrent to miracles. Each “why didn’t I?” only made the wall between me and my highest good more impenetrable.

As I began to dismantle each shaming thought, to take my focus off the “facts” of my pitiful existence, a higher Truth began trickling in. I am okay just the way I am.

Every wrinkle on my 58-year-old face, every age spot, every time I felt wronged or angry and acted less than the perfect human I aspired to be is okay.

Self-love isn’t about getting a massage every other week or treating myself to a bubble bath–although they’re nice gifts and never discouraged. Self-love is about accepting myself exactly as I am. Warts and all.

It’s about the two magic words I mentioned a couple weeks ago: It’s okay. Whatever I think, whatever I feel, it’s all okay. And I am lovable and loved despite my perceived flaws and alleged past “failings.”

Guilt, it turns out, is as foolhardy as any military Strategic Defense Initiative. The only thing it can ever deter is the always-flowing stream of universal good.

Pam Grout is the author of 17 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the just-released sequel, E-Cubed, 9 More Experiments that Prove Mirth, Magic and Merriment is your Full-time Gig.

40 Comments on “Anatomy of a guilt trip

  1. Thank you, Pam!! This is exactly the thing I needed to read/hear in this precise moment!! No coincidence! You are my mentor, my guide, I love you! God bless you!

  2. Wonderful thoughts, Pam. Thank you for sharing them.

    I believe in complete and total forgiveness of myself. Every time. No exceptions. That is my ideal, anyway (won’t say I always get there quickly).

    For me, the worst part of guilt, blame, and shame is the transference; transference is often an unavoidable phenomena.

    When I treat myself that way, I will eventually transfer those perspectives to other people and believe they are also treating me that way.

    Worse still, though, is the transference of those perspectives to God. When I transfer such perspectives to the Source, which I will also eventually do, my pain quickly becomes suffering.

    The story I tell myself of my guilt, shame, and blame is just that – a story I’m telling myself.

    Today, my litmus test for any story is this: Does this story serve me?

    Do stories about guilt, shame, and blame serve me? Never have, never will.

    • Hi Greg! Doing the “Grow a Greater You” thing also, and I sent you a long e-mail with the story you asked for, please answer me when you can. Thx, love.

    • Thank you, Greg for this insight. You pointed out exactly what was needed to be said to make me internalize the truth Pam was talking about in her post. You’re so right about transference. I paid a big price for my self guilt, blame and shame and now I perfectly understand what you meant! Thank you again and be blessed!

  3. Hi Pam,

    I’m still trying to figure out exactly how to deal with who I’ve become. How to deal with all the crap I seem to have brought on to myself which has ruined pretty much every relationship I have.

    I love your books , E2 and E3, however for whatever reason, I don’t seem to be manifesting/attracting as well as some of your other followers/readers.

    Synchronistically(?) speaking, though, when I opened up E 3, I was surprised to see a mention of Colette Baron-Reid. Until September I’d never heard of her but I received an invitation to a taping of her new TV show which I attended 3 times.

    So, my question is, although I fully believe in everything you discuss, and am quite encouraged by all the comments I see, why am I unable to get your experiments to work properly for myself?

    I do try to be positive.

    Harriet

    • Hi Harriet,

      Any chance you can tell a slightly different story? Tweak it up a bit. I believe in calling everything a blessing and seeing Colette had to be a wonderful gift. She and I just created a Oracle of E card deck together. Comes out in September, I believe.

      • Last night I had a whole bunch of amazing experiences. I’m not going to type it all out now but I just wanted you to know.
        Thanks for your reply.

  4. Hello Flying Dragon….I was born in North London, left when I was 23 years of age.
    Thanks SO much for reminding me of my family always saying “Never mind, eh”….
    It worked!!!!…Luv.

    • It’s a lifetime process! No sooner did I blog about radical self-acceptance than I did something to test myself, something that, up until now, I’d have definitely beat myself up over. Ahhhh, universe! Thanks for your ongoing reflections!!!

      • Pam, I just bought your book, E Cubed, today as I have been so busy with channeling my own information. Another home run book! Another wonderful book for reaching the masses to help everyone remember their power and who each really is.

        On my wall today…

        I was never a fan of the Hunger Games until last week. I noticed that the second movie, Hunger Games, Catching Fire, was available at the library so I checked it out for free. When Katniss, the heroine, shot an arrow, that was connected by rope to the tree that would be hit by lightening, into the clouds, which was really the top of the dome, and the dome broke open and communication with the televised game was destroyed, I felt the entire story. I’ve watched it several times now plus the audio commentary by the director.
        This reminds me of our earthly experience. We come here by birth and our only way out is to die. It is all a game and we forget who we really are.
        “Don’t forget who your real enemy is”…is a signal in the movie. In life, it is a reminder for me that it is the lower frequencies such as FEAR and GRIEF that are my only “enemies”. Although, really, there are no enemies, it is all a hologram. All is as I create.
        I am the creator, script writer, director, and player in my own holographic world. I have broken through the barrier and felt the love of all those in my past, present, and future. With the LOVE from home, I am writing more positive higher frequency experiences.
        And as the Hunger Games were devised to bring enjoyment to the Capitol, the Game of Life was designed to bring enjoyment to God. And I AM that God just as is the grasshopper that I saved from drowning in the pool to be swallowed by the bird a few seconds later as the grasshopper flew away. It was my connection with the grasshopper and his communication with me the next morning that helped me FEEL the connection with ONE. I created the GAME for my own enjoyment. LOL
        And I LAUGH!

      • My grasshopper story posted on my wall October 4.

        The Grasshopper today.
        As I was swimming in the pool today with my dive suit on…(yes, I’m a wimp when it comes to cold water) , I noticed a grasshopper had landed in the pool and was struggling. So instead of watching it drown, I put my arm under the water so that I could pick it up. I walked over to the edge of the pool and just lay my arm on the sidewalk and sat and watched the grasshopper. I wondered what the message was for me from the grasshopper and was excited about looking it up when I got home.
        The grasshopper sat on my arm a couple of minutes and then flew off into the air. I watched it fly away and is it did, a bird swooped in and caught the grasshopper in it’s mouth.
        Definitely was the day for the grasshopper’s mission on earth to be over.
        As a Chinese Symbol, the grasshopper brings me longevity, happiness, good health, good luck, wealth, abundance, fertility and virtue. In Ancient Greece, the grasshopper was a status symbol and a sign of immortality. Native Indians regarded the grasshopper as a messenger of good tidings.
        I am very happy that the grasshopper chose me today. I’ll never forget this unusual meeting.

        Following is message from grasshopper this morning..
        YOU SAVED ME FROM DROWNING.

        I ALLOWED BIRD TO ACCEPT MY BODY TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY.

        THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTERVENTION.

        ALL IS A LOVING ACT ALTHOUGH IT APPEARS OTHER WISE.

        (This grasshopper helped me remember that we are all ONE. The grasshopper had become ONE with ALL and knew everything about me. I talk with all and they talk back to me. On the trail walking with Max later in the afternoon, I was talking with all the plants and birds and fish, feeling that ONENESS. Very special.)

        Thank you Pam for your books that are reaching so many with your words.

      • Pam, I just got E Cubed on my kindle today. I left a message previously today that I had been really busy getting my own messages from Spirit. Well, everything that I was channeled is in your book! What wonderful confirmation! I have read 1/3 of the new book already and have that same excitement that I had reading the first one. Thank you for another “home run” book which I will be promoting!

  5. Started reading E-cubed yesterday and…
    Just as I walked into a public building there was some man talking to another man; he was in mid-sentence and saying “…when you talk to the universe, it talks back…”
    This made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I didn’t expect the universe to talk directly to me that way.
    P.S. The rest of their conversation was about sports and that line did not seem to fit the topic very well.

  6. WOW!!! Nelly’s comment about your blog being just what I needed to hear… was exactly that!!! Thank you Pam you never cease to amaze me with your insights! Thank you thank you thank you! xox

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