Just the way things aren’t

“We can find strength in our collective losses, as long as we can free ourselves from the gravitational pull of the trauma and move forward, all our ghosts in tow, into this beautiful waiting world.”—Nick Cave

So I’ve got three stories for you on this beautiful Friday heading into what I now proclaim will be “the very best weekend of your life.”

All three offer proof that to throw up our hands and say, “But that’s just the way things are” is the first mistake.

Yes, there is a lot of momentum or gravitational pull, as Nick Cave described it, to believe that life sucks, that people are inherently violent and greedy, that we’re all headed for sure and certain disaster.

However, this socially-accepted anxiety negates the truth of the way things really are. When we step back from the dots of the pointillist painting, we find deep connection, no separation, a living reality waiting patiently for us to surrender our belief that it’s “just the way things are.”

That’s why I like sharing a different narrative.

Story #1: I used to post manifestation stories that popped into my inbox on the regular. They present evidence that we have a lot more say-so in this world than the popular opinion of “we’re powerless pawns.”

This is from, Rachel, who recently discovered the magic of E-Squared.  

“Not even 24 hours after starting Experiment #1, something wild happened. I went to work, and my second client, who is always so sweet and brings me coffee, walked in with a large bag. Inside was a beautiful long puffer jacket and a hoodie. She had ordered clothes, but the company sent her someone else’s order and told her to keep it. She’s 5’1″, and I’m tall and a size large, so she instantly thought of me. And let me tell you… I’m obsessed with puffer jackets and basically any kind of hoodie. Both items were exactly the colors I would have chosen myself.

“I literally started laughing, and my poor client had no idea why. I was so grateful, and honestly still in disbelief. I felt compelled to share this with you because it gave me such a spark of hope. I want to change my life, and this feels like a sign that it’s possible.”

Story #2: When announcing the choice of The Earth Elders for this year’s Taz Grout 222 award, I mentioned a story about King Charles and a nearly-extinct white butterfly. Here’s how it went down. Last year, while doing a fire ceremony with the shamans and elders at his Highgrove Residence, the king got spiritual confirmation of their mutual intention for reconciliation and collaboration when the rare butterfly, appearing out of nowhere, landed on the ceremony leader’s shoulder.

Maybe the industrial mainstream paradigm that everything’s separate is not “just the way things are.” Maybe we do live in a living system where life has purpose and meaning.

Story #3: This is from Maasaki Nagai, Kannagara Guardian:  

“A farmer in Japan went out to his tea plantation one morning only to find that many of his tea trees had been uprooted and destroyed by wild boars in the middle of the night.

“He thought to himself, ‘Due to environmental destruction brought about by human activity the boars have little to eat. That’s why they came to the fields last night. They also must be upset at us humans for encroaching upon their territory.’ He carried out a ceremony while apologizing to Mother Earth and all creatures and resolving to co-exist and co-prosper with all of creation.

“The next morning when he went to the fields, he was shocked to see that during the night the boars came and used their tusks and snouts to spread organic compost on all of the raised beds. The entire plantation was 9,900 square meters in size and it would take his entire family three whole days to do this work. Moreover, none of the tea trees were harmed.

“Amazingly, since then, for the past twenty-two years, the boars have come every year to help spread compost in the fields.

“In that quiet exchange between farmer and boar, there was a deeper lesson unfolding—one that many Indigenous cultures have understood for generations. It was a reminder that humans are not separate from the natural world, but part of a vast, living family that includes animals, plants, soil, and spirit. The farmer’s gesture of respect and apology seemed to open a space for connection, and in that space, cooperation replaced conflict. What followed felt almost like magic, yet it echoed an ancient truth: when humans approach the natural world with humility and gratitude, the world often responds in kind.”

Maybe it’s time to question—is this really just the way things are? Or is there a beautiful world awaiting our notice.

#222 Forever!

Pam Grout is the author of 22 books including E-Squared, Thank & Grow Rich , The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind (And Therefore Your World)and her latest, The Ego’s Playbook.