“Close your eyes and feel the divine spark, concentrated in you, like a little Dr. Seuss firefly.”—Anne Lamott
The above headline, I realize, sounds like the title of a “Friends” episode: The One with Ross’s Teeth, the One where Joey Speaks French, etc.
But it’s really about the stories we tell ourselves, the life episodes we replay over and over again. We repeat these stories until there’s literally no room for the Divine. They become mechanical, habitual and they run our lives. There’s the story about your nationality, the story about being female or being a parent or belonging to a particular political group.
These extremely confining affiliations become so baked into our day-to-day reality, so deeply conditioned in our minds that we completely forget they’re only stories—temporary and insubstantial. We completely forget that who we really are is timeless, eternal totality.
We were laughing at some of our crazy beliefs at yesterday’s possibility posse, about the many stories that drive our lives. For example, if you don’t wash off your makeup before you go to bed, it’ll age you seven years. Or you should never run your air-conditioner if the windows in the car are open. Thanks, Rhonda’s dad.
My mind went to the vanilla milkshake story from my book, E-Cubed. The One Where a Supersize Batch of Milkshakes (yep, still using that Friends gag) was divided into two and labeled as either a) Sensishake, a low-calorie drink with zero fat, zero sugar and a mere 140 calories or b) Indulgence with high sugar, high fat and a whopping 620 calories.
Test subjects, before and after drinking the identical shakes, were measured for a hormone called ghrelin. Doctors call it the “hunger hormone” because it’s secreted in the gut and signals your body when it’s time to eat. It also slows your metabolism.
What researcher, Alia Crum, discovered was that the ghrelin levels dropped three times more for test subjects who thought they were drinking a fatty shake than for those who believed their shake was the pinnacle of health.
In other words, our stories not only determine our life experience, but they also play out in our bodies. Our stories, our labels, our beliefs—whatever they may be—become true for us.
While the above stories are humorous and a little mind-blowing, we also have “serious stories,” solemn identities we fight like bloody hell to hang on to. No really, I was mistreated by my family. I really DO have agoraphobia. That “other” really is discriminating against me.
As for me, I choose to disidentify from as many labels, as many certainties as I can. And I’m sticking with the story that life, even though I see but a small fragment of it, is here to invoke great delight. In other words, I choose the “The One with All the Glory” episode.
My buddy, James Twyman, invited me to be part of a Mystics Summit.
And while mystic is definitely not a part of my “identity” or my “story,” he asked me to talk about A Course in Miracles which I do all the time anyway. So if you are interested in a free Mystics Summit, you can sign up—did I mention it’s free—at this little ole link right here.
#222 Forever!
Pam Grout is the author of 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind (And Therefore Your World).
9 Responses
This is uncanny Pam, literally 5 seconds before I saw this email I was sitting at lunch having a cry and telling myself to stop labeling my life & saying I missed out on this, I can’t do that anymore. It also goes great with Lesson 19 in a course in miracles which I reminded myself that I construct this reality I’m seeing based on my beliefs, and it is not real.
Thank you so much Pam, it’s wonderful to know I am right on track & getting rid of all these labels. Lots of love, and thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 🥰
Our existence here on the blue ball is supposed to be perfect and abundant peace and joy, but then we mucked it up with a bunch of self-identified nonsense. The thinking that I did this or that happened to me so I must react a certain way is complete foolishness. When we remember we are free to choose anything, any outcome any life we can imagine then we return to the perfect existence we were meant to have. Don’t worry though you are absolutely free to choose anything else just realize the choice is solely yours.
Thank you Pam although I didn’t get any of your comparisons to TV shows I’ve never seen. If you’re going to assume we know what you’re talking about, then you’re going to leave some of us out of the conversation!! Yikes! You’re the best even if I don’t know what you’re always alluding to! Thank you!
I love finding a new “Pam Grout” post in my inbox- especially on a day I don’t expect one! And I didn’t check my email this morning because my phone was doing an update and then I ran out of time before work. So I’m only looking now – the evening of Tuesday the 13th of June here in Australia- and to see a post from you dear Pam just topped off my day like a hot caramel fudge sundae! Yeah! 🥳🍨
I love the vanilla milkshake story and all that it implies for each of us in every area of our lives. Wowzer wow wow! That story demonstrates how our minds are a miracle machine that we too often forget to program to the “magic cycle” and instead leave stuck on the ordinary or regular or fearful cycle. Thank you so much Pam for the wonderful reminder that our stories become true for us whether they are based on a false premise or not, and that when we believe in something, even the seemingly impossible, it translates into our experience. Here’s to choosing the episode that’s “The one with all the Glory.” Yeah! 😁💃🦋🌺🌝
Ad always Pam, thank you for your wisdom, humor, and willingness to share your life with is. I look forward to your blog emails and they never disappoint. Melissa
Thank you again. Perfect timing reading this. Exactly what I needed.
I appreciate you always.
Awesome, I think I heard about this research in a book called personality isn’t permanent by Benjamin Hardy He talks about how we can rewrite the stories from our past. I’m plagiarising a little here and most of you will know the story, but a fellow tried to sell his life story to a publisher. He was told it was too boring so he came home and went upstairs, his wife says “where are you going?” He says, “to rewrite my life story”.
Of course he did and some months later, had a huge bestseller!
I was just sharing yesterday with someone that I carried a sense of shame for many years over not being “a morning person” and a few other things that I was so ready to let go of the self judgement . Your email dear Pam gave me more food for thought thank you💖
The notion of “waiting paitiently for me to quit throwing darts at my life” (which you use in lesson 226), brought a great deal of clarity. The “to do list” are darts thrown at my life; the “confinind affiliations” are darts I throw at my life. I am not sure why this metaphor was so revealing to me, as I go through my day I “feel”, oh… there’s another dart, oh… there goes another one for you… all kinds of judgements then show up, while I wait paitiently for that moment in which the loop closes and I quit doing it. Thank you for sharing what you share.