E-Squared:  The 10-year anniversary edition (with a Manifesting Scavenger Hunt!!) GET IT HERE

A broader perspective is our greatest need

You must unlearn what you have learned.”—Yodataz yoga

A FB memory from two years ago popped up this morning of Taz and me in a photo booth in Stockholm, Sweden.

It made me happy to see the two of us clowning around, being goofy.

Taz and I had a lot of silly rituals. We watched every episode of “Gilmore Girls” together and our favorite character was the eccentric Kirk Gleason who, over the course of seven seasons, worked as everything from a bath mat salesman to a termite exterminator to a parachute jumper. We regularly sent each other pictures of Kirk, in all his glory. We called it “The Daily Kirk.”

On the first of every month, whichever of us proclaimed “Hedgehog” first, was guaranteed a lucky month. It started when she was in grade school, but even in college we’d text each other the simple phrase. Since she stayed up late, as college students do, she always prevailed at 12:01 on the dot. When she lived in Europe after college, 12:01 came several hours before I even qualified for our little game.

Someone emailed the other day, inquiring about page 92 in E-Squared. I told the story of baby Taz’s high fever, me being frantic with worry and hearing a voice with startling clarity: “I didn’t give you this great gift just to take it away.”

This reader wanted to know what happened.

I, too, sometimes wonder. But, in my better moments, I echo what Julia Roberts told an interviewer who asked if she regretted never having an adult relationship with her father who died of throat cancer when she was 11 or 12. She replied, “Are you kidding me? He’s with me all the time.”

On the first day of the last three months, Taz has sent me a hedgehog. On May 1, it came in the form of a news clip about British rocker Peter Doherty who was temporarily hospitalized after being stabbed with a…hedgehog spike.

On June 1, the word “hedgehog” came in as a text message…from (don’t ask me how?) Taz’s phone.

July 1, I was at the toy store buying a birthday gift for my friend’s one-year-old grandbaby. I asked the clerk what was the hottest new toy for a one-year-old. Without hesitating,  she took me straight to a stacking hedgehog pull toy.

So, as I told the reader who emailed me, “Taz hasn’t been taken away. She’s still very much here, albeit in a different form.

Taz now has the broader perspective I so desire and, like Yoda, she’s teaching me to unlearn everything I know.

So, my fine-feathered friends, I’ll say it once again: Go out now and have the very best weekend of your lives.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

50 Responses

  1. Pam, I attended a HerStory Women’s Empowerment Conference this last week. I met with women from all over the world including Africa, Australia, New Zeland, Canada, South America, and the US. They have a presence on Facebook. I wanted to share this great group with you who are giving women a voice about what happened in their lives.


    1. Thank you for always reminding me to remember who I am! Your blogs always pull me out of a low and make my highs go even higher!

  2. What a wonderful story and you are so right, she has never left you………………………..

  3. My husband of 30 years passed away from pancreatic cancer in February. There has not been a day go by that he doesn’t make his presence known to me. There have been some pretty phenomenal happenings. There is no death – only a transition from one form of life to another. We are all just energy, and as Einstein said: energy is neither created or destroyed, merely transformed.

    My mother passed away 40 years ago. I kid that she is still running my life. Interestingly, we have a much better relationship now than when she was in physical. Both of us have mellowed over the years, and now we are the friends we couldn’t be then.

    Relationships with our loved ones are never-ending and always evolving. I look forward to being with Michael again in spirit and also the next time we are together again in the physical world – whenever and wherever that may be.

  4. Thank You for the beautiful memories and teaching us to be ourselves, have fun and give it up to the FP.

  5. The text message from Taz gave me chills and reminded me of a similar incident with our family. We cared for our terminally ill grandma at our home until she passed. We had a baby moniter in her room downstairs and one in my room upstairs. It had a lighted digital LED display that would show on my screen when she spoke. The morning I found her deceased, while waiting for the coroner to arrive, I unplugged the baby monitor downstairs in her room and gathered my children upstairs in my room to tell them grandma had passed. I didn’t want them to be traumatized and asked them to stay upstairs until the coroner arrived. My girls wanted to say goodbye and I encoraged them to speak to grandma because I was certain she could hear them. When each if them said their goodbyes the moniter lit up even though the moniter downstairs was unplugged.

  6. Wow Pam. Just WOW!

    1. I’m so happy to have you back in my inbox!

    2. This post is AMAZING! I had forgotten about the fever story/quote. Wow. And those hedgehogs? Triple Wow!

    3. Your words (literally) brighten my day. I live for these kinds of stories! And yours and Taz’s stories are the best of the best!!!


  7. Thank you Pam. The passing of my loving, funny husband, and mom left me in some physical pain, but it went away. They are still with me making me laugh and still giving me guidance, like it or not. The suggestions are always spot on and eventually welcome and appreciated. <3

  8. My mind is blown every time I read your words Pam! THANK YOU for sharing your and Taz’ continuing journey with all of us.

  9. Wow!!! Reading this gave me a flood of chills throughout my body!!! Making me rethink how important it is to stay open to signs that appear in our everyday life. As the great Wayne Dyer would say, “ There are no coincidences!”

    1. Love Wayne!!!Thanks for bringing forth to this conversation🤗🤗Miss his WISDOM!! PAM IS CONTINUING HIS PATH!! THANKS

  10. Hi Pam! Hedgehogs are one of my daughter, Carter’s very favorite animals!
    P.S. Perhaps you have received my note, in your mailbox?
    Pamela Joy

  11. Hi Pam,

    I just wrote you a lengthily email that I sent on your contact page pertaining to this subject and I hope you get a chance to read it. I’m so happy you are still visiting with your beloved daughter.

    With love and gratitude to all the tribe here,
    Michael A. Stilinovich

  12. Pure love. As always. I have been seeing 222 in cars’ license plates 🤩😍🤩
    Sending you love.

  13. Your messages never fail to brighten my day. They always seem to point me in the direction I need to be looking. Thank you for these!

  14. You rock Pam. Always a delight to read your articles. Have a fantabulous weekend!

  15. How I look forward to your posts. What an awesome story. You are such an inspiration!!!
    Thank you so much.

  16. Omg Pam…you are a human angel… I’ve never ‘met’ anyone like you… thank you for the gift of you… 🙏🏻💕

    Warm wishes

    Claudia M:0404084243

  17. I am so enjoying your posts! Thank you for re-committing to this. I love to hear all your stories of Taz and the beautiful way you are transitioning to this new life. All my love to you!

  18. I love your faith, your trust, your spiritual connection with Taz.
    A a warm hug tonight.

  19. I am so happy to have you back on a regular basis. And I love your explanation of page 92; you are so right. Our loved ones are never taken away from us. They may not be physical anymore, but they are never dead. And the more awakened we are, the more we know that life is eternal. Love is life and it conquers our belief in death if we are open to it. I am deeply inspired by both your humanity and spirituality. Love and hugs to you.

  20. Pam, today, a few hours before I read this post, I heard the word hedgehog said by a character on a show I rewatch all the time. This time I really heard that specific word out of the entire sentence – especially how the actress pronounced it – it was such a clear “hej-hog” whereas I say it as hech-hog. I kept repeating the word using her, as I felt, more correct pronunciation, then wondered why on earth I was so fascinated by this particular word. And now I’m wondering why this happened only hours before I read this post…? I think it must be magic xoxoxo

  21. Oh, Pam I love you! I have a sense that before you and your beloved Taz incarnated you made a pact. Holding hands you plunged into this dimension knowing full well how your lives would play out. There would be so much love, joy and sorrow. A beautiful relationship would be cut short by earthly standards. But you had to fulfill your mission. You, my friend, had signed up to be a teacher. Your curriculum? There is no death. Taz really never went anywhere. It’s plain to see that you’re still holding hands.

  22. You’re so amazing! These post always make me cry…tears of sorrow, tears of awe tears of beautiful surrendering to what is really True. LOVE; you’ve got that down! Thank you for spreading it around.

  23. Helping my brother and sister-in-law downsize today. This piece of garden art was in the reject pile and I snatched him up right away. I’ll think of you and Taz every time I look at him as I do whenever I see 222. Thank you for all your insights.

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    Like the poem that you recommended previously…Taz is just in the next room…
    LOVE you Pam!

  25. Dear Pam,

    I’m sending love.

    Also I wanted to tell you that in reading this, I will start a ritual with my 12 year old like you have done with Taz.

    I’m sole parent, and I had her late in life. So I’m 40 years older than her. It crosses my mind I need to prepare her for a life without me. You’ve given me a gift to prepare us and enjoy a ritual that we might be able to play for as long as it takes.

    (She already finds 42 everywhere.)

    I’l let you know when we come up with it.

    Much care to you

  26. Hi Pam, I just randomly looked up at a movie from reading and saw a hedgehog. I started to share this with you, and paused, considering whether to actually send it, and then ANOTHER hedgehog came on the screen! So there you are!
    Loving your posts, keep em coming!
    Lots of love from Sydney Australia x

  27. Hi Pam,
    I know this is weírd bc I don’t know you or your daughter personally but I’ve been a fan since 2016. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I feel like people are with me. People I’ve never met. A couple weeks ago I believe Taz was with me. She’s amazing. So much love. ❤ This story reminded me of that bc these random people visits are always in my car where I currently have a little book about hedgehogs. Her visit was so sweet and calming . I used to have a pet hedgehog. Hodges was her name.

  28. Thank you for reminding me that my husband is still with us. he passed away 2.5 years ago. My grandson was 4.5 and misses him terribly still. I’ve tried to explain how pop pop is energy now, and still with us. My grandson now 7 has had a hard time understanding that concept. I told him pop pop sends us signs to let us know he is with us in the form of coins. Yesterday after an outing to the local art museum we found a dime in the flowerbed. Asher exclaimed” that’s for me from pop pop!” Today on a walk around the neighborhood we found a nickle on the pavement. I think he is getting it!

  29. WOW! WOW! WOW! I knew you would come through Taz. Sooo much love. What a beautiful story. So grateful for you sharing it Pam. This is why l suggested the book ‘A Mother’s Journey’ by Kerry Alderuccio to you. Kerry’s connection with her son is through the appearance of feathers predominantly. A very interesting read too.
    Love, hugs and thank you to you

  30. Hi Pam,

    I have read your book E-squared really interesting read and I have tried some of the experiments and it worked. I read each and every one of your post regularly for your mind blowing experience with your daughter Taz, I would like to thank both you and your daughter for reinforcing my trust in the non physical.

    A few years back I had to abort my baby in my 7th month of pregnancy due to some complications and after years of working on letting go of resistance I have allowed pregnancy to happen now. Some bad memories from previous pregnancy is haunting me a little bit,but I am still working on the process of letting go. Your words “I didn’t give you this great gift just to take it away.” it felt as if a message for me ,I feel much better now. Thanks a lot

  31. Dear Pam,

    Thank you SO MUCH for your email last Friday. My boyfriend of 14 months broke up with me last week because I was “so sad” that he’d changed his mind about having kids as soon as we had planned to. He went alone on the beach trip we’d planned with his family – and even though we’d had some good talks for a few days, I was hurt to be left out of the trip.

    But…then I read your email. The last line, “go out and have the very best weekend of your lives,” resonated with me. I thought…”I think I will!”

    And I did. I moved the mattresses that had been cluttering the bedroom for four months, cleaned the house, worked like a fury on my coaching program, went to a family party I’d been dreading (and had a great time), hiked by myself, did an energy healing with my psychic teacher, and just had an all around fantastic weekend! I even got paid in full ($5000) by my newest coaching client!

    All in all, I had so much fun on my own that when my now-ex came back, I realized I’m happier without him around. Being by myself this weekend was the most fun I’ve had in months, and I had no idea it was so possible. Thank you so much for helping me see it. ❤

  32. I don’t understand how you received a text from Taz’s phone. I know you don’t want us to ask, but this is important. Did you send it? This could be a scientific breakthrough if you did not. I think I understand to some degree how terribly difficult this must be, but I am, like others, trying to find the truth.

  33. I feel, perhaps, that God, even then, was telling you that you won’t lose her even when you think you have lost her. I am so very glad for your ongoing relationship.

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