E-Squared:  The 10-year anniversary edition (with a Manifesting Scavenger Hunt!!) GET IT HERE

Back to the Mothership


“Say yes to revealing an unseen energy that surrounds us, that we’re actually a part of. Our soul yearns to witness and experience this nonphysical energy, not only for us to fully heal, but also to make the absolute most of our lives.”—Christina Rasmusseneinstein

In my ongoing efforts to figure my life out (now that I’m a childless mother), I have concluded that, above all else, I need to write, to create. When I don’t, I tend to get cranky. You’d think I’d have mastered this daily ritual by now. After all, I wrote a whole book about it. Ever since second grade, when I wrote and illustrated “Paddy the Penguin,” I’ve known creativity is the thing that makes me feel most alive.

Even in the depths of my grief, I felt better when I wrote—whether a letter to Taz, a blog post or the book that comes out beginning of next year. So, I’m making a commitment to myself (and to those of you who have kindly put your trust in me) to resume a more consistent blogging schedule. As you can imagine, I have a few things I need to say.

I’ve been on a pretty intense journey the past nine months as I attempt to move beyond the physical realm, to connect to that bigger thing that feeds my creativity, that keeps me in sync with Taz, that offers a deep well of healing and peace. In the interest of transparency, you should probably know that some days I still struggle to hoist myself out of bed.

Luckily, Taz keeps sending signs and, among other things, she and a wonderful medium named Steffany Barton and I are toying with the idea of teaming up to write a book. And the 222 Foundation is steaming full speed ahead. Look for the Call for Proposals for the 2020 grant to be announced soon.

The amazingly awesome Karen Drucker has offered to sing a benefit concert for the 222 Foundation. My new friend Sigrid Drobner keeps painting weekly flowers with 3-D butterflies to auction off for the Foundation.

I have also gotten a lot of sustenance from all of you—book suggestions, postcards from the Camino de Santiago, sweet emails. Please know I value each and every one.

I was bragging to the Hay House marketing team this morning about all the music suggestions you sent. At last count, I’ve received more than 400 happy songs. All I had to do was ask. The team requested that I ask another favor. They want me to inquire about your favorite podcasts. Which podcasts do you like best, listen to most often? Let me know in the comments below.

Thank you again from the bottom of my patched-up heart. I love you and always will.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

132 Responses

  1. Pam, thank you for coming back to writing. I missed your thoughts on different ideas. And yet it is a time for your new book and new inspiring experience. You give love, live and chances to many people.
    All these people with you now to support your new step.

  2. You are a fabulous woman and I am so grateful for you and what an amazing role model you are!!
    Thank you for continuing to inspire and have faith, I love you and thank you again!

  3. I used to regularly listen to several podcasts at Hay House.

    But my absolute favorite IS (and has always been) “Truth Transforms,” hosted by, The Reverend Gaylon McDowell at UnityFM.

    1. Oh, man…I just listened to the first of 15 podcasts at “Truth Transforms” by The Reverend Gaylon McDowell that Dennis suggested. What a life changer! I had been trying to find a way out of some friend/self issues and Amen, I have been delivered! Thanks to both of you for shining a light on my path! Much Love,Love, Love!

    1. Okay, Pam.

      Yer blog is good too, so keep it up.

      Anyway, Reverend McDowell is a Unity minister in Chicago, and his basic format is a chapter-by-chapter commentary on books he selects, and so each one runs for more than one episode of his show.

      I especially like the one he did on Neville’s book, “The Law and The Promise,” he began on February 15, 2017. He continued it for fifteen episodes.

      There are many other books/episodes he did and I like too, but it’s his commentary that makes the show inspiring.

  4. Dear Pam,
    How wonderful to read from you again.
    I missed you and your inspiring messages.
    I like the Rich Roll podcasts especially the ones with Guru Singh.
    Sending you lots of love to your patched up heart

  5. Absolute favorite Podcasts: Anything by Malcolm Gladwell; especially “Revisionist History”. “The Moth” – people’s stories are so good~ And “Hidden Brain” produced by NPR. Sending love~

      1. I’m looking forward to Melissa’s workshop as well!! And I’m intrigued by The Moth, and hidden Brain! I’ll have to check it out! 😎
        BIG ❤️ to you

  6. Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday is a great podcast because of all the different people she talks to about spirituality. Tami Simon with Sounds True has a wonderful podcast as well. She also interviews people of all different thought and spiritual traditions.

  7. I most listen too Headspace . I absolutely love Andy he has created a wonderful app for meditation…….
    I truly believe if Everyone connected the world would be very conscious.
    Keep blogging Pam the universe needs you too xx

  8. Hi, Pam. I think of you frequently, especially when I see 222. I do not listen to podcasts very much, though I used to listen to Tim Ferriss’ interviews with authors who wrote books that he found intriguing. I like the recordings, however, of the Hay House talks that they post once a year during their conference. I tend to re-listen to inspiring books–like yours, like The Secret and The Power, and Joe Dispenza’s stuff. I watch YouTube interviews or clips from talks by Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton. I used to listen to clips by Wayne Dyer regularly. Also Joe Vitale’s books online are helpful to me. I like the messages about staying positive, visualizing, focusing, and manifesting—but more than just the how to, i LOVE LOVE LOVE anecdotes about people who have done it and what has happened in their lives.

    Which brings me to a book I am writing. I used to have a terrible fear of death and could not believe it could be a good thing. I needed some kind of evidence that was not just based on a religious faith or tenet but rather a personal experience. I like to read books about people who have some testimony related to personal experiences, and I did my dissertation on web discussions among people who watched television programs with death/afterlife themes and how those people interpreted beliefs in the afterlife based on the television show and/or the online discussions with other viewers. Many told of personal experiences that were related to mediums, apparitions, and other “paranormal” phenomena. I am writing a book that has stories from people who have lost a loved one and have experienced signs, connection, messages, specific meaningful experiences that they relate to that person who has passed. I am asking people to tell me their stories and I will publish them into a story about Connections. If you have anything that you would like to contribute, please let me know. I’m sure you may put your own experiences into a book of your own, but if you would like to contribute to the book I am writing, and the collection I am passing along, I would, of course, mention you as a writer who has covered topics related to … whatever you would want written.

    I wish you comfort and love and the ability to continue on to new things. I’m sure it is not always easy.

    Diane Dobry

  9. My favorite is The Happiness podcast by Dr. Robert Puffe. Starts my mornings very positive!

  10. Your blog posts are the best! Thank you, thank you. I listen to A Course in What?! with Cynthia Morgan.

  11. Pam, for me it was my husband, and this article (link below) is written by a wife that lost her husband,  but lots of good general information. It’s a great article about how we have grief wrong.When Taz died, I was in rehab because I did not handle my husband’s death well. Alcohol seemed like the solution…. at least until it wasn’t.  I was confused when I got out over what had happened and so sad when I figured it out. You continue to be an inspiration and a light. I know it isn’t easy. The day before my husband died, I had written a blog post called, “What’s Right with the World.” (His death was sudden and unexpected.) I think people thought I would handle it because of my beliefs and writing. Needless to say, I didn’t long term. Although I don’t know how you feel… I guess I’m sharing all this so you know there is someone who knows it is difficult…. lots of us. I say, I don’t get over it, but I learn how to live with it. Take good care. Wishing you peace.Penelope Link to article on how we have grief all wrong:https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stifled-grief-how-the-wes_b_10243026Ps-I follow Christina Rasmussen too!Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  12. Hi Pam, my favvy pod casts are Oprah Super Soul. Russell Brand Under The Skin and Jay Shetty Purpose. I would LOVE for one of them to have you and pick your brain!! That would be the best yet xx

  13. Let the music play and your heart will continue to find its way. Bunches of love coming your way💕

      1. Interesting! Well a mother with just a tiny amount of grey hair for her age is showing you a double lilac.
        (A message from my dream state)
        I could explain why I think it’s for you, but it is too long for a post here.
        Also I used to listen to Hal Elrod’s achieve Your Goals Podcast.

  14. Thankyou for being you dear Pam. Your honesty, openness, humour, and willingness to share deeply from your “patched-up heart” mean so much to me, and – I think I can confidently say – to all of us here. I have missed your regular writing but have totally understood it. However, I’m so glad to hear that you’re committing to a more regular practise again because you know it will be healing and helpful for you. That’s so good to know. And of course it will be healing and helpful to all of us too.

    I’m not much of a podcast listener but by the sounds of things I think I need to become one. I have however listened to a couple by Brene’ Brown and totally love her work. I also love the few super soul Sunday sessions I’ve heard.

    Big hugs and blessings to you dear Pam. It’s lovely to have you sharing your journey with us in all its joy, grief, beautiful bits and really hard bits. I’m so grateful for you 🤗🌸
    Love from Jenny Louise 💖💛

  15. I love you and can’t imagine the journey you have been on! Thank you for continuing to keep us all a part of your life ❤️😘

  16. When I looked at the cartoon I thought it said E Cured. I said, ” What a great new book idea! ” Hope you are healing and sending positive wishes your way.

    1. Taz created that little meme for me. She drew a whole series of cartoon Einsteins back when Collette Baron-Reid and I created our Oracle of E deck.

  17. Hi Pam,

    I just wanted to take a moment or an eternity to Bless You and all the Tribe that congregates here. Have you or the tribe ever read any of Rachel Naomi Remen’s books?
    I highly recommend them for their healing qualities as well as their soul expanding influences.

    On another note are any of you Guys familiar with Servicespace? I attended an Awakin-circle that Nipun Mehta and Rev Heng Sure decided to make a surprise visit to. It kept me buzzin’ for a couple of days. I highly recommend you All check out Servicespace for a wide ranging variety of the wonderful things they do around the globe, much like you Pam.

    I read the following quote from one of the many articles on servicespace.

    “When you quiet the voice within you that divides yourself from others, you lose yourself … you fall in love,”

    And as far as I’m concerned I so much want to taste that “Love”.

    With love,
    Michael S.

    1. I love Nipun Mehta so much. I once pitched a story about him to my editor at People magazine, but she just couldn’t “get” the gift economy. He’s very inspiring, one of my all-time heroes.

  18. So good to hear from you Pam! I’m not a podcast enthusiast, but am so looking forward to your book(s)! Sending healing energy from the heart each day! xo

    1. Torrie–I’m thinking about getting a tattoo with your 222 logo. And did I tell you about the sunflower seed packets? If you private message me your address, I’ll send you a couple. Again, I just LOVE the logo you created.

  19. So happy you will be back to blogging regularly.

    Podcasts (Top 5)-The Joe Rogan Experience, Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations, the School of Greatness (Lewis Howes), Rise (Rachel Hollis), Aubrey Marcus Podcast,

  20. I love you Pam Grout. What a beautiful soul you are. I hope you feel this hug l’m sending you.
    Would love to hear any podcast you’re involved in and Hay House are inspirational too.
    Pam, l recently read a book by Kerry Alderuccio titled A Mother’s Journey which l think would be beneficial for anyone who has lost a loved one.

  21. Favorite podcast….hmmmm….that would have to be Super Soul Sunday with special guest Pam Amazingly Awesome Grout! And my heart skipped a beat when I saw your blog post in my email today!! 😁 You ALWAYS make my day 😎✍️☕️💜

      1. Ditto on all counts!!! Kindness and generosity are chasing us down!!

  22. Hi Pam

    Keep doing you … as the mother of one daughter myself … well let’s just say I hold you in my heart.


  23. loving you honey, right back at you. if you ever need any company – to hike, camp whatever- in the wilderness- to get away- I’m your girl hugs and kisses and thinking of you so much. love you, cindy ross


  24. Dearest Pam, When I see your posts in my mailbox I always get excited, now more than ever, Thanks for showing up, YOU GOT THIS & your amazing!!!!! I love, LIVE AWAKE podcast by Sarah Blondin

  25. My heart goes out to you. I respect and admire you for being committed to putting out goodness in the world. I am sure that your daughter would have been proud of all that you are doing. Move forward respecting the neeed of your personal time for grieving and healing and renewal.
    Warm wishes

    1. I was lucky. Except for that short-lived, junior high eye-rolling stage, Taz was always proud and supportive of me. She was just such a special light. Still is!

  26. So glad you are back Pam. I always enjoy your blog. All of them. I also have lost a child at 27 yrs and it does get easier, most of the time anyway. Time doesn’t heal but with the passage of time we get more used to s different sort of life. Bless you x

    1. Oh, Rae! So sad to hear about your child. I heard once that, while we will never get “over it,” we learn how to carry it. I’m still learning.

  27. Pam I thought you would enjoy this…..Regardless of the terminology….I hope it does an aching heart good…….

    That prayer has great power which a person makes with all his might. It makes a sour heart sweet, a sad heart merry, a poor heart rich, a foolish heart wise, a timid heart brave, a sick heart well, a blind heart full of sight, a cold heart ardent. It draws down the great God into the little heart; it drives the hungry soul up into the fullness of God; it brings together two lovers, God and the soul, in a wondrous place where they speak much of love.
    Mechthild of Magdeburg

    M Stilinovich

  28. Hi Pam and Taz from India. I love and adore you and all your work. You are a constatnt inspiration. I listen to super soul sunday but the recent 10 class series with Eckhart Tolle she ( Oprah ) did with him was a game changer for me. Sending lots of love and healing vibes your way.

    1. Oprah-Eckhart–can’t think of a better combo! And I LOVE India. If you’ve been on the blog for awhile, you probably already know I left part of Taz’s ashes at the Taj Mahal. It was divinely-appointed.

  29. Hi Pam,

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your absolutely amazing and I am in awe of you: how you find it in you to get out of bed is incredible. I once read that being a mum is like having your heart on the outside of your body. When tragedy strikes, our hearts break. I imagine that yours broke many times over and over again since Taz left us.

    Your strength to keep putting the pieces of your heart back together and getting up to write and organise is truly inspiring. I wish you well in all your endeavours.

    Warmly, Romy


  30. My favourite Podcasts:

    „The Beautiful Writers Podcast“ (Linda Sivertsen)
    „The Quote of the Day Show“ (Sean Croxton)

    and I loved „Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert“

    Warmest Regards, dear Pam:
    (still remembering Berne with a huge smile)

  31. Dear Pam
    Hello from a coffee shop in London. I wanted to write, well, really what I want to do is hug you tight, very tight. Absent that, for now at least, I’d like to send you a huge, all encompassing wave of love from me to you. I was just looking at the other comments and I thought, what does Grout mean anyway. Dictionary.com says

    “a thin, coarse mortar poured into various narrow cavities, as masonry joints or rock fissures, to fill them and consolidate the adjoining objects into a solid mass”

    There you are Pam Grout, filling us with your inspiration and consolidating us into a community of belief in so much more than the keyboard beneath my fingers.

    Thank you. You are loved by us all and by those peeking down with arms open wide from the other side.

    Janet x

  32. I LOVE reading your honest blogs, and this was the best yet. Looking forward to reading them more often.

    My absolute favorite podcast is The Creativity Habit. A gift to humanity! Thanks for asking.

    Hugs, Cat

    Catherine Rains http://www.catherinerains.com Art to support our awakening journey

    Sent from my iPhone


  33. Thinking of you Pam. I love your blog posts and I’m so happy to see you continuing in your creative efforts. I will forever be grateful for your work. I get a happiness boost from “Happier with Gretchen Rubin”, “Sorta Awesome”, “On Being”, “10% Happier” and “The Science of Happiness”.

  34. Always a ray of sunshine when I see your name in my emails.
    I send you a prayer today that you will receive “A Peace beyond your understanding”
    One day at a time. I hardly have time for full podcasts during my busy day and all the books on my end table. When I do have the time
    It is usually Wayne Dyer, Super Soul Sunday, Unity podcasts.
    Sending you another warm hug,
    Linda (Shanti)

  35. Always puts a smile on my face to find you in my inbox. Sending you smiles and much love!

  36. Feeling grateful that you remain in my life… I am the guy that has been to Kansas twice…

  37. Dear Pam,

    I’ve been a fan of yours for a long time, so since you asked, maybe I can give a tiny bit of what you have given me back, by my Podcast suggestions. (I love, love, loove Podcasts and all the suggestions here are a gift for me! Yayyy! Just recently decided to finally hear that calling of mine and start my own..and who knows, maybe one day I’ll be interviewing you!? You are definitely one of me dream-guests!)

    Aaanyway, as to my recommendations:

    Inspire Nation Show (I know you know it, since you were a guest there, but maybe another blog reader doesn’t know it yet :-))

    Byron Katies Podcast

    Oprah’s Masterclass, especially the one with Oprah herself!

    Accentuate the Positive with Karen Swain
    I loved her interview with Scarlett Lewis and the one with Natalie Sudman,both of which I think can give comfort to people who are grieving.

    Kind World: beautifully produced stories of kind acts. Makes me cry often, even though I don’t cry easily

    And then, I’d love a podcast that tells stories about miracles… Like a good-news Podcast where the “news” are miracles, synchronisities etc. that happened to people. Maybe you want to make a podcast out of the stories being sent to you all the time!?? That would be soo awesome! I’m willing to help if you’d like!! 😉

    Much love to you and anyone who reads this!

    1. I read Natalie Sudman’s book (way back before Taz died), have been thinking about re-reading. I look forward to listening to her interview with Karen Swain. Thanks so much!

  38. I love “creating from the inside out” with Michelle Waldo and “LOA Recon” with Jeanette Maw.

  39. Podcasts I can’t miss:

    Let’s Play: the Create Podcast (tony nominated director Kristen Hanggi and actress Natalie Roy are the hosts and they are tapped into something special)

    Tara Brach

    Live Awake (no new seasons but I can listen to Sara Blondin’s voice over and over and over)

    Armchair Expert (funny, interesting and surprisingly deep)

    Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations (although I do skip around a bit on this one, where the others I listen to EVERY episode)

    And of course, I will have to shout out my own show Being Me Podcast

    My dad taught me if you don’t vote for yourself who do you expect to vote for you!

    May today be filled with ease and love. May signs continue to show up and comfort you.

    So much Love, Victoria Buda


    1. These are great! Thanks! And I can’t wait to check out your podcast. Let me know if you’re looking for guests–like your dad said???!!

  40. Richard Rohr- Another Name for everything
    The Kate & Mike Show-Life,Love, and Business

  41. Bless you, Pam! Today I could feel your pain as I read this piece.

    As per your request here are a few of my fave podcasts:

    Sam Harris – Making Sense Dan Harris – 10% Happier Sounds True – Insights at the Edge Tim Ferriss Akimbo Malcolm Gladwell – Revisionist History

    Be well!,

    Robert G. Martens Ann Arbor, Michigan

  42. Oh! And Robert Holden-Shift Happens!
    I’m thrilled you’re back and I’m also so inspired by your strength. I love you Pam Grout!!! 💖

  43. I listen to Candace Owens. I don’t always agree with her which is one reason I listen. I’m SO tired of people who only seem to be able to deal with people who agree with them. What is up with that?

  44. Here is a playlist that we listen to in the morning after prayer and meditation and during our shower and making breakfast:

    I’m so grateful to have read your books! Namaste ❤️🙏🏻 Dave Skop

    Sent from my iPad


  45. Hi Pam
    I love all of brene brown podcasts
    I love Dan Gilbert on happiness
    I send love and strength often
    Love your blogs…helps me immeasurably

  46. Hi Pam,

    I have read and loved you and everything you have written since I found out about you. The thing I just read that hit me very hard was when you said you are a childless mother. You will always be Taz’s mother, she is just in the other room right now. Please don’t accept that label of yourself, it is a disservice to you and to your daughter.

    I know it must be hard but you two have a bond that transcends the physicality we begin with. Even though I don’t know you personally, I carry your heart in my heart and I learn something from you with everything I read from you.

    Much love to you dear Pam.

  47. I love reading your emails! They are a bright spot in my day! Sending love and light to you 💜

  48. Dear Pam,
    I’m so looking forward to your book coming out.
    I’m sure there are days getting out of bed seem like a mountain to climb. I cried when I heard about your daughter. I’m sure so many of us did.
    One thing I’ve never visualized is your arms childless. I see them so filled with LOVE for Taz that they are over flowing, reaching wherever they need to reach. I never see the two of you apart. I think that is impossible. But with that said I also respect your sadness and can’t imagine how strong your cape has had to be .(you are one of my hero’s)
    Kate from Carmel by the Sea Ca

  49. Oprah’s Soul Series
    Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic
    The Good Life Project
    Pod Save America

    And my favorite happy song is
    Copacabana by the Spanish group Izal. If you cross the L with the I, it spells TAZ backwards. I think she likes it too!

  50. Thanks for coming back Pam I check my emails looking for a post from you to feed my mind and soul with good things . Your the bestest I am a student of course in Miracles I am so excited that you are going to teach it, will you be doing a daily lesson with the book?

  51. Pam, I send you Reiki and put you in our once a week virtual Reiki circle to help you navigate this extremely difficult time in your life. I’m touched by the way you share your grief, and insights. Thanks for being vulnerable. Your blog is one I read faithfully. Blessings to you.

    The only podcast I listen to regularly is “What Should I Read Next”. It’s not a spiritual podcast on the surface, but most of the guests talk about how profoundly the books they’ve read have helped them see life in new and unexpected ways. Since I’m a writer, I love that. And I get to add lots of great books to my TBR list. The other podcast I check into upon occasion is Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations.

  52. Hi, Pam! I am Kansas girl reading your blog on a bus to Ban Gioc Falls in Vietnam. 🙂 Wanted to share my favorite podcast with you because it’s what led me to become a part of your tribe. I met a man named Sean Croxton on a Tinder date in San Diego, CA. Found out that he had a podcast series of interviews with authors. While we never went on another date, I did get hooked on his podcast and discovered you. Best thing ever! I now listen to his “Quote of the Day” podcast on the way to work each morning. I find it to be uplifting and inspiring. I love that he pulls quotes from a diverse group of people and that the underlying message to them all aligns with your message in E-Squared. We are truly powerful creatures. Thank you for encouraging me to tap into the energy around me. I love reading your books and blog.

  53. Sending you much love and thank you for writing again and for your honesty <3 Your writing has picked me up many, many times! My go-to for inspiration is your books and Gabrielle Bernstein, she's got great podcasts too.

  54. I have always felt so connected to you–partly because you’re from Kansas (so much of my family is from Kansas and my hubby and I are moving there in two weeks from California–but that’s another story) but mainly because of your wonderful books and messages. Then I just read about how Karen Drucker will be singing at your event. Karen was a regular customer of mine at a furniture consignment store where I worked in Corte Madera, CA. She would often bring me one of her CDs when she dropped off furniture to be consigned. I love that you connected over all those miles. And I’ve know Steffany Barton (another Midwest lady) for years. She’s done past life regressions for me and my husband, readings for the upcoming year and brought me messages from my best friend who passed two years ago. She also connected my hubby with his younger brother who committed suicide. Steff is such a joy to be around and is simply pure positive energy. Love her and Karen and am thrilled with the work you’re doing with them! xoxo

  55. Pam, thank you so much for being you, and for all that you have done and do and in spite of how you feel you continue to inspire so many, I’m so glad you have decided to continue your blog, but more importantly that you do decide to get up out of bed when you really don’t feel like it, my heart goes out to you. My goddaughter/niece died at 27yr old too, she would of been 30 this year, she like Taz fitted so much into her life and we miss her constantly, and are very thankful for all the signs she sends too.
    I’m really looking forward to your new book, I love ACM, I borrowed my brothers book, about 25years ago, and still have it oops hehe (he knows)
    My favourite podcasts are:
    Low Tox Life by Alexx Stuart, she interviews a wide range of people with a variety of subjects.
    Wardrobe Crisis by Clare Press
    The Inspired Table by Jordanna Levin
    The Minimalists
    The Guy Lawrence podcast by Guy Lawrence
    I hope you find these podcasts fun and interesting, if you get a chance to listen.
    Wrapping you in hugs of love and more moments of joy.

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