You can never say “I love you” too often

“In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
222a

Every time I took off on a flight, I texted Tasman to tell her I loved her. You know, just in case.

Since she’s not currently taking texts, I decided to send this email out to all of you to let you know: I LOVE YOU!

Because, well, I’m about to take off for Mumbai.

Many months ago, I was invited to join Tribes for Good on their initial Social Impact Journey. It’s a weeklong trip for those of us with a heart to make a difference in the world, those of us who want to use our talents and energy to rewrite the dominant paradigm. We’ll be learning skills to bring people together, to get us all in the same vicinity so we can all finally get it that we really DO love each other. That we really DO want to take care of each other.

Because the mission aligns so closely with The 222 Foundation (and because my best friend from college agreed to join me), I decided to carry on. I decided to take Taz’s message to me (“Mom, you’ve got to take all that love you gave to me and give it to everyone else.”) and focus on the love. Focus on what I still have.

And you’ll be happy to hear I’m even practicing what I preach, being grateful that:

1. I got 25 years with the most loving, most amazing daughter on the planet.

2. That she changed her plans and decided to stay in my hometown for the last year of her life. Initially, after her year of European and African wandering, Tasman planned to teach in China. She landed a job in Beijing, jumped through all the hoops, got all the background checks and, right before she was scheduled to start, changed her mind and stayed here working with the Spanish-speaking families of the Douglas County Big Brothers/Big Sisters. So I am so blessed that I got an extra year!!!!!!

3. We’re starting a foundation to radically change consensus reality. I’ve got people all over the world holding the vision that Taz started. Love fiercely and do kind things for the underdog.

The Foundation will give its first $10,000 grant on February 22 of the coming year.

We’ll be looking for people like Hal Taussig, the CEO I once wrote about for People magazine. He passed a few years ago (I’m guessing he’s probably busy sharing ideas with Taz), but, just to give you a sample of the types of folks (and ideas) we’re looking to fund, I’m re-posting this story about the amazing CEO who gave 100 percent of his profits to projects that address inequality.

Enjoy!

Hal Taussig will never make the Forbes list of highest paid CEO’s. It’s not that his Pennsylvania travel company isn’t profitable. Untours, the company he started in 1971 with a $5000 loan, pulls down annual profits of a million dollars, sending thousands of customers a year on shoestring cultural immersions to 24 destinations around the world.

It’s just that Hal donates every penny (yes, 100 percent) of the company’s profits to innovative projects that address poverty. He lives in a tiny two-room house with his wife Norma (she owns the century-old wood frame house that was built for mill workers), rides a bike to work (he gave his car away to a hitchhiker nearly 40 years ago), shops at thrift stores (his one suit cost $12 — “It’s a Brooks Brothers. I’m very proud of that suit,” Hal says) and refuses to take a salary. He has one pair of shoes that he resoles when they get worn and he reads newspapers and magazines at the library.

“I decided a long time ago I didn’t want to accumulate wealth,” Taussig says. “Things do not make people happy. Living simply is how I get joy out of life. I live a very rich life on very little money.”

In 1999, when John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Paul Newman awarded Taussig with a “Most Generous Business in America” award, he went to New York to accept it, but rather than staying in a hotel, he stayed in a $10-a-night youth hostel.

“I don’t feel right about staying in a five-star hotel when there are people who don’t even have a roof over their head,” he says.

As for the $250,000 award, he used the entire amount to help home health-care workers start their own business. His wife Norma had just had a stroke.

“The woman who was taking care of her was only making $8 an hour while the agency was making $18,” Taussig says.

“We give loans and provide a hand up, not a handout,” Taussig says. “I’m trying to make the poor into capitalists, to help them become self-sustaining, to give them a way to make a living.”

Since 1992, when he started the Untours Foundation, he has provided more than $6 million, in loans to support such ventures as NativeEnergy, which sells “green tags” to fund wind, solar, and methane power; strawbale housing on the Rosebud Sioux Reservation and Bionatur, an heirloom seed company born out of the efforts of the Landless Workers Movement.

“We look for really innovative things that have the potential to change the world,” says Elizabeth Killough, who works for Hal at the Foundation. “Hal is off the charts. I tell him I should pay HIM for the opportunity to work here. I used to be his consultant and when he asked me to work for him, I hesitated. Everybody needs heroes and I didn’t want to find out there was a dark side. But I’ve been here seven years now and he’s the real deal.

“Five years ago, he came to me and said, ‘Let’s make Media (Pennsylvannia where they’re headquartered) the first Fair Trade town in America. I laughed and couldn’t imagine what that would look like. I googled it just to humor him. And sure enough, there were fair trade towns in Europe. And we managed to get Media as the first Fair Trade Town in the U.S.or as they say in Europe, the first Fair Trade Town in the Americas.”

“He really walks the talk,” says his daughter, Marilee Taussig, who left corporate America to work for her dad’s company. “It’s an admirable way to live your life, but sometimes it’s hard to be a family member of someone who is such an idealist, someone who doesn’t believe in a safety net.

“I call myself the unheiress. If my dad had decided to leave me a million dollars, would I have turned it down? Absolutely not. But what he left me is something much richer and that is the ability to live what you believe in and put your money where your mouth is. It’s all well and good to talk about living simply, but it’s a whole other thing to live it.”

“Money is the least important thing a parent can give a child. My dad gave me integrity, a sense of humor and a sense of purpose,” Marilee says.

Marilee says the company itself is a real reflection of her dad’s beliefs. “It’s a nontouristy way of traveling.” He believes foreign travel means more if the traveler can live like the locals.

Taussig contends “Americans don’t really want to be herded about like sheep or cattle.”

His loyal customers, many who return year after year, agree.

As a boy, Taussig lived in a log house on a cattle ranch in Colorado. His mother made his underwear from flour sacks. After getting a college degree, he tried to get into the cattle business, but invested all his money in a bull that was sterile.

“I went broke and got fired before I found my calling,” Taussig says.

Taussig taught history at a high school for 10 years before taking a yearlong sabbatical throughout Europe. He and Norma and Marilee rented apartments, shopped in village markets and traveled by foot, bicycle, train, bus and boat.

“That was an educationally important year for me. It got me in deep touch with other cultures,” Taussig says. He wrote a book called Shoestring Sabbaticals and came up with the idea for Untours: a travel agency that enabled tourists to get to know a place intimately.

What does he think about AIG CEO’s making $17 million, Merrill Lynch brokers bringing in $32 million?

“I’m glad these issues are now being discussed. Piling up money doesn’t bring happiness. Having a huge bank account doesn’t produce a profound contentment in life,” Taussig says. “Wealth gets in the way of human kindness, joy and peace.”

Thanks guys. I must confess it hasn’t been easy. My friend Ivy who texts me a heart every day sent me this meme. 222b

Grief is a messy, complicated and ultimately life-changing process. But I do it with honor for Tasman McKay Grout and her beautiful vision of possibility and truth.

Never forget. Hug your loved ones close. And remind them how very much they are loved.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side

81 Comments on “You can never say “I love you” too often

  1. I love you Pam Grout and I think of you and Taz every day.❤️❤️ Thank you for all the goodness you both have brought to my life and for continuing to be a light on my path. Xox Val >

    • Love you Pam. I lost my husband nearly 3 years ago. Grief is a tough journey but you are doing your darling Taz so proud with your strength and kindness to others. Bless you xx

  2. Love you Pam. I lost my husband nearly 3 years ago. Grief is a tough journey but you are doing your darling Taz so proud with your strength and kindness to others. Bless you xx

  3. Thank you for sharing BRAVELY…you have the most beautiful heart and I am so grateful to have “found” you. I do not think that grief is a set of stages, I believe it is a defining part of our journey that connects us to our angels, and we can either embrace it or let if eat away st the very joy within us. Carry on, dear heart.

  4. Pam!!! I love you and hope Mumbai is one magical moment after another. I really love this post and thank-you for sharing it. Grief, in my own experience, shows me the places where I am holding and a way to release. she’s an ass-kicker of a teacher, that Grief is. God bless her and all of us.
    I’ve been thinking about starting an events business whose profits would fund non-profits (so much profit in this one sentence!!). This morning I asked for a sign to let me know if this was the direction for me to head towards. So, of course, you share your news and repost this article on the Taussigs. Message received! Thank-you and thank-you Tasman.

  5. Love you Pam and Taz for all this wealth you are giving! Eternally grateful!!! My heart goes to you! I can only imagine the pain and grief you are going through! Love Love Love ❤️❤️❤️🌵😎

  6. You are a great example of how to deal with grief. Yours is the only blog I read and I make it a priority as your words resonate so well with me. Please keep writing, I hear you.

  7. I love you too Pam. Keep us posted on your journey and know there is much love and light travelling with you.

    Mary Lou

  8. Safe extra special journey Pam. I bet this time will be really good for you and you will bring the gorgeous essence of yourself to so many others! Take good care, remember to rest and hydrate, and know thousands of us are sending you love and blessings in the hugely tough time for you. xo Judy Lund ________________________________

  9. Pam, I’m a single mom as you are and text my son every time I take off as well. Keep texting us, we’re here for you. You raised a curious, thoughtful young woman with integrity and compassion, from what you’ve shared with us over the years. My heart is with you and just know you and Taz will be together at the next party (what I call each of our lives). My live to you💕

  10. How very true, nine years I use to drop my wife of 32 years off at work.
    On this particular day I was running late so we were both a bit irritated,
    later that evening I got a call stating that she had been taken to the hospital, when I arrived at the hospital she was gone.
    What I wouldn’t have given to be able to say I love you one last time!

    • So sorry to hear of your loss! My husband tool his life and I didn’t say bye either or that I still loved him.

  11. I love you Pam ❤️. You are the most humble, loving and yet powerful catalysts for human evolution that I know….even in the darkest of times. It is no wonder that when I read these words “I SEE YOU”, my friend!!

    And as I liberate my diamonds from the darkness
    A brighter light shines through me to reveal a greater mind
    I express a greater kindness
    Humble catalyst of evolution for the human kind

    Big Love❤️ And safe travels,
    Virginia

  12. Love. Love love love love heart-breaking-open love. Love love love love love love love love love.
    Sparkles, softness, gentle kind love.
    So much gentle love to you, Pam.
    Xx

  13. Pam, I love you. 💝
    I send you all my good thoughts and best wishes from Germany.
    I feel with you.
    Thank you for your work – your E2 and E2+ helped me so much during my grief.
    Susan

  14. I Love You Back….I think of you everyday and wish I could sit and have coffee with you. Give you a big hug…just to be certain you know how deeply I feel (thousands feel) and care that you are hurting right now. Perhaps someday we will meet…but until then, I think of you everyday, as a mother, a friend and someone who is honored to be reading your blog, books and anything else you may choose to write..
    Love Kate in Carmel by the Sea Ca.

  15. Pamela Sue Grout… I LOVE YOU! And I love all of you other folks that are Pam fans, like myself. I came to love Taz, as you have all along been sharing her with us. My heart still hurts for you. But I love what you are doing with her memory and legacy. I wish you an incredible journey and adventure, and I know there will be many extra special moments where Taz will join you. Looking forward to hearing about it.
    I hope you’ll come back to Durango, before too long (remember, you are welcome to stay with us, anytime!!!), or maybe I will come find you, somewhere. I’ve never been to Kansas…
    Meanwhile, Vaya con Dios and Buena Suerte!
    LOVE,
    Pamela Joy Marshall

  16. I love you so much, Pam, and think of you and pray for you so often. So many of us have your back, just as we know you have ours. I am so grateful for you in our lives and look forward to supporting, being inspired by, and perhaps participating in the work of the 222 Foundation, fiercely spreading love the way Tasman directs you to. You’ll never know what a huge difference you have made in my life, and, I’m sure, in the lives of so many.

    Gently holding you in the Light,
    Mary Wentworth

  17. Wow….. I “found” you several years ago (2012) shortly after I lost my best friend (my mom). I bought 5 of your books and my teenage daughter and I enjoyed testing out some miracles. We’re not quite there yet, but we’re trying! I read with shock and sorrow about your loss and I can’t even imagine the grief you are feeling – I have only one child and it’s unthinkable to me for anyone to go through what you just lost – no many how many children one has! That being said, you are true to your writing in that you practice what you preach and I am so touched by it and so proud to “know” you! My heart is broken for you and all I can do is learn from your words and pray for you and your family. Your personal angel is close by and watching over you, prouder than ever that you are her mom. Those of us who follow you love you very much and are rooting for you to continue all the good you do. Cry when you need to, but remember that it is cleansing and healing. God knows you and what’s in your heart, and you are a treasure to all who know you and to those who have yet to discover you. Many blessings to you! Stay strong! We love your Taz, too!

  18. Thank you, Pam and Taz.
    I am humbled by your generous spirit. You make me a better me. Keep sharing and inspiring me (and all your followers).
    Looking forward to you next post. Blessings-with much love.

  19. Omg…

    I wondered why I hadn’t seen any of your posts in a while. You were missed

    Your daughter, Taz, I don’t know what happened but I do know she was a young lady from I saw in your pictures during your travels.

    I don’t know when she passed (a while ago or recently) either way, I’m sorry she left so soon. Know that you are loved as you are. You don’t know me one iota but if I can be of assistance, let me know, and I’ll jump 🤟

    ((Hugs)) A fan, Stephanie

    I

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  20. Mumbai better be on the lookout!! You’re a force to be reckoned with, as the old saying goes. Taz will be proud…again!
    Love to you Pam…Diane

  21. This was so wonderful. I’m going to read it again and start practicing this kind of life. Janeal

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  22. Pam, I Love You ! 🙂 You truly are a blessing to all of us. You are love , you are light. I will strive to be as selfless , kind , loving and generous as you. I thank you for sharing your wisdom and still teaching us in such a painful time. Take care , keep on shining and have a wonderful healing trip. Be well my friend 🙂

  23. I’ve so enjoyed the love and joy that you bring into the world via your writing. This past year I have been learning the importance and the gentle peaceful joy in my Soul of telling people that I love them. Your blog post title was a message from my Higher Power about saying I love you more to someone.

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. She appeared to bring a lot of light into our World. I’m sure she is there in spirit traveling with you.

  24. My dear Pam: It’s 2.19 a.m. in Argentina and I couldn’t sleep thinking of you, so I woke up and came to the computer looking for you… and found your post. We do have an unbelievable connection with you. You have touched so many souls. You are one of the most incredible great people I’ve ever met. I love you back and will always do. You and Taz will be always loved.

  25. Pam, I always admired you. And now I’m in awe. You are an amazing woman. I Never had a chance to meet Taz but it seems I will never forget her beautiful face now or the amazing life she lived from your precious words. Thank you for sharing.

  26. Dearest Pam You are an inspiration, I hope one day your travels bring you to Cape Town. Lots of love Sarah

  27. Dearest Pam
    Your Grace is an inspiration.
    Thank you for being a beacon of Light even at a time of deep grief.
    Much love
    Darryl

  28. After my dad passed away I was struggling with my emotional pain. I looked up into the beautiful blue sky that day and clearly heard “Remember the love we have shared with one another Linda? Well now it’s your turn to give that love back to the world!”
    It warms my heart and soul to hear that is what Taz shared with you Pam. Peace on your new journey .

  29. Today is the day my dear husband Jim went to The Cloud four years ago. We told each other our love every day. Your E-squared book techniques helped me in my grief. You’re amazing- enjoy Mumbai!!!

  30. Thanks for such inspiration, Pam, and also thanks for reminding me of something I had forgotten…the last thing I said to my husband was “I love you”… a few hours later he died in a plane crash. To be honest, our conversations did not always end that way, and I feel very lucky that those were my last words. Just the day before, I had overheard our daughter, who was five at the time (35 years ago, now), ask him, “Daddy, will you still be alive when I grow up?” He laughed and answered her, “of course I will!” I didn’t think much of their conversation at the time, but a few days later when she asked me the same question, I had to go deep for the answer. Later, our grief was resolved by a stunning message I received in meditation, and the story of that resolution has rippled out and touched the souls of lots of people — I will share that with you some time, in the meantime I am sending you love and hugs stitched together with deep appreciation …

  31. Blessed Sunday beloved Pam. From one mother to another I admire you! I honour your commitment to move forward in helping others, we help ourselves. Thank you for your new letter and its precious reminder. While the physical may have ascended, the precious Spirit will always be with you. Love is eternal. Allow the love from so many around the world comfort you. Hugs and prayers are being sent to you today and every day! Bless you, Pam, for all you do and all you are! With love, light and peace Deborah

  32. Dear Pam,

    I LOVE YOU and I wish you a wonderful experience and trip to Mumbai!

    I appreciate this post and I’m grateful, yet once again!, for your wise and timely words in my life.

    Have a safe journey and you are in my prayers!!!

    Love and hugs, Lynn Lawrence

  33. Get ready for a tear jerker with a profound message. Pam Grout lost her 25 yr old daughter last month due to a blood clot in her brain. Let me know if you want to go to Dubai- I would be happy to make it happen💜

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  34. Sorry- am sending this to my very special niece Now I realize I forgot my ‘I love you’😎 Sent from my iPad

    >

  35. Pam Grout you are amazing. Thankyou for your love. Thankyou for your warm, open heart sharing with us, inspiring us, and demonstrating to us that living in love is possible even in the hardest, saddest times. Big blessings to you for your trip and for the wonderful 222 Foundation. I love you too! Big hugs from Jenny Louise
    💗💛💖⭐️💖💛💗

  36. Pam – I love your posts – you have always been such an inspiration to me and now to read of your sadness and loss is just too awful.   I am thinking of you lots and send much love, Maureen – South Africa.

  37. Dear Earth sister Pam,
    I think of you often and of your loss.
    I have only one daughter and cannot even imagine what it would be like to loose her.
    In times like this words seem so insufficient in expressing emotions ( I speak for myself). So all I’m going to say that my heart goes out to your heart. I feel you. We are all infinitely connected and your painful experience that you are handling so well is adding great wisdom and love to the universal consciousness.
    Namaste Namaste Namaste

  38. Thank you, Pam, for pouring out your heart and soul. Taz fell off my newsfeed a while back and we hadn’t swapped notes on her VIPKID app since the spring. I didn’t know she had plans to go all the way to Beijing!

    It’s no coincidence that I have been immersed in “Thank and Grow Rich” for the past few weeks, in addition to several other projects focused on Unconditional Love, which is what caught my eye in my Inbox yesterday while rummaging through unread messages (I binge-read like other people binge-watch.) My curiosity peaked when you said Taz wasn’t taking texts and I also hadn’t heard back from her after the interview. I spent the afternoon backtracking through your blog and our PMs putting the pieces of the puzzle together, and stunned in disbelief that this experience was playing out in your life (and mine again.)

    I usually like to comfort myself by thinking our moms and our kids are hanging out together in the heavenly realm as we are here on earth, but the tsunami of emotions keeps washing over me, bringing back memories of seven years ago when the unthinkable happened to our son, Mark. http://budurl.com/Lovehappens

    Just about a month later one of my “Secret” pals from the Powerful Intentions community (Nick is in Hawai’i) introduced me to another cyber-friend (“coincidentally” from nearby Tampa) whose daughter had passed on suddenly from an aneurysm. Shayna was just shy of her 21st birthday, preparing to graduate from nursing school that spring. Mark had just turned 20 in November. They left this earthly plane on consecutive days in January — both affected by acute conditions of the brain. https://m.facebook.com/notes/penne-davidson-ard/its-always-something/10150212948762541/

    Debbie introduced me to our grief guide, Tom Zuba, whose son also had a close encounter with juvenile brain cancer. That was his third time to bid an unexpected adieu to family (including wife and daughter, which landed him on Oprah.) 222 is Tom’s thing, too. Deb was a nature girl like us and did her own digging, learning that aneurysm is a side effect of artificial hormones as found in birth control and menopausal therapy. One of my aunts also died suddenly from aneurysm in her 60s. I discovered that Mark was among the tots (as were his older siblings on back to our generation-50s and 60s) who received batches of OPV (oral polio vaccine) possibly tainted with SV-40 (Simian monkey virus,) proven to cause juvenile brain tumors back in the 60s. They can take up to 20 years to manifest.

    “The thing I greatly feared has come upon me.” Job’s biblical revelation always moved me, but even moreso when I “tripped over” metaphysics during an investigation into vaccinations following a clash between our GP and the head nurse at the local clinic. He advised waiting on the OPV due to return of fertility; she was adamant that I “protect the child” in the room and forget the unborn. I let her bully me into it. It was the last vaccination any of our children received and the year before Taz and my daughter, Fawn, arrived on the planet. I’ve been deep-diving into divine Science ever since!

    Mark’s experience shook my belief system to its core, and so questioned everything I’d ever believed or been taught, as you can imagine. Nothing spoke to me until I dug through my virtual library and found an untouched audiobook by Byron Katie. I quote her in my “Love happens” note for Mark (first link above.) You came into the picture two years later through our “Infinite Possibilities” circle and Bridget’s purple experiment.

    Thank you for the love, thank you for your beautiful heart and generous spirit, but mostly, thanks to you and Taz for inspiring me and the CanDo! Crew all these years. Bon voyage, mes amies ~ WE LOVE YOU, TOO ❤️ Penne and All

  39. You’re my hero, Pam! You truly are 🙂

    L

    Light Watkins Author, Teacher & Speaker lightwatkins.com

    Social: Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

    Order now (or leave a review): Bliss More: How to Succeed in Meditation Without Really Trying

  40. You are an amazing woman, a beacon of light in this world, someone who helps move that veil a little more every day, so others can see the light. Much love to you and Tasman; who you know is beside you every day, filled with awe and love for the woman who is her mother.

  41. Your drawing of your experience with grief is exactly like mine was…I just didn’t know how to draw it. I think of you every day and always send love. So happy to read this awesome blog. I’ve found that everything happens for a reason and sometimes it took me years to find out what that reason was. Your story is amazing and I’m thankful that I found your books, your blogs, Facebook page, and played words with friends with you. You always answered my messages and encouraged me to write. So happy to read your words again and feel now that you’re going to be ok. Tears streamed down my face as I read the above and as I type this. Love, love, love to you, dear friend. I’ve never met you in person but feel your heart. Thank you!

  42. Your diagram is hilarious. I know what you feel. Lost my parents when I was just a kid and it is a process. For me, the grief is buried as time has gone by but it is there and a song from those days, or the piano, my mom’s favorite,farm country, still bring it to the surface. Thank goodness it is buried, probably a survival mechanism. 🙂 Found that my best friend during these years has been time!

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