Defy the lie: why the “F word” and I roll deep

“Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe.” ― C. JoyBell C.

According to the Course in Miracles, forgiveness (the F word) is the answer to everything. But like God, love and other important concepts, forgiveness comes with a cargo-hold full of baggage and is not well understood.

Forgiveness doesn’t suggest overlooking something someone did to me. The F word, according to the Course, means it’s impossible for anyone to DO something to me. For me to think, even for a brief moment, that I understand the world from the tiny bits of my perception is to make a huge mistake.

All I can see, all I will ever see, is what the viewfinder of my limited perception shows me. If my perception is fixed, nothing can come between the goal that it has chosen.

Let’s say I choose the perception that so and so is a misogynistic asshole. If that perception stays fixed (meaning I refuse to forgive) nothing—not a miracle, not a sign, not an evidential slap in the face, can allow any other truth to manifest for me.

Likewise, if my perception is convinced that money is hard to come by, the world’s unlimited abundance cannot get through my blockade. It’s right there, eager to unfold in my life, but my perception has put up orange cones.

Forgiveness means knowing my perception is forever tiny and incomplete. Forgiveness means knowing I am blessed and that every single thing that happens, every single person who pushes my buttons is a gift. Everything is FOR me. Nothing is against me.

Forgiveness is to defy the lie. To defy the lie that something is wrong, that life sucks, that so and so is a horrible evil person.

The coolest thing about forgiveness is it relieves me of having to make judgments. Knowing I can’t and don’t understand the whole relieves me of having to decide what’s good and bad, decisions I’m incapable of making. It literally frees me. And that’s why the F word and I roll deep.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the just-released, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

32 Responses

    1. Thanks Pam for an excellent article. It took me a long time to understand that forgiving doesn’t mean that what happened was ok. It freed me and made me feel better about the circumstances. I forgave and walked away from the negativity and the person that I forgave. It is all good.
      Blessings to you Pam.

    1. Whenever I don’t forgive, I have blocked the bigger picture. I have put up orange cones to the universal good. When I forgive the asshole, I’m acknowledging that there’s no such thing as an “asshole.”

      1. abuse is my orange cones so by having them around me/family i feel safe…almost like telling him to stay away….i move through my life without angry towards him but forgiving him for what he did to my daughter feels wrong! I used to be filled with angry because he would not admit what he did but i let that go knowing my daughter is free, safe, absolutely amazing and beautiful ……….living a great life!

  1. Pam–
    As a new student of “ACIM” I love this: “The coolest thing about forgiveness is it relieves me of having to make judgments. Knowing I can’t and don’t understand the whole relieves me of having to decide what’s good and bad, decisions I’m incapable of making. It literally frees me. And that’s why the F word and I roll deep.”
    Thank you. I will sleep tonight.

  2. This is the first time I’ve ever gotten the whole forgiveness thing!! Your perspective has changed everything for me!! What a gift!!

  3. Well said. Most think I’m nuts because I don’t get on the ain’t he or it awful bandwagon. I’m just on the it’s in the plan bandwagon. I don’t write any script but my own and it’s been a helluva ride. 😉 With all this new information, it’s only getting more interesting and better. Yay!

  4. Love love LOVE this, Pam! And there is no better feeling than freedom in my book!
    You ROCK, my friend 😎
    As I embrace polarity and see past judgement”s blindness
    The chambers of my heart burst open with forgiveness
    And collective kindness

  5. After reading your post I came here immediately to tell you ‘You Rock!’ and I see everyone else beat me to it. That doesn’t change the message. You Rock!

  6. Honestly I needed this today. This teacher said something misogynistic AGAIN and I realised he was going to keep doing so as long as I believed that about him. This just solidified it. Thank you!

  7. I always perceived forgiveness as something that happened to me, rather than something that I could DO. One day I would remember something that someone had “done to me” in the past, and notice that I didn’t care anymore : forgiveness had kicked in. Today, I feel it’s important to not hold grudges : my mantra is “I don’t know all of the story, so I can’t judge” As you say : if someone appears like an asshole, I don’t know WHY he acts like this, what his story is, what leads him to behave this way. He’s just like me, doing the best he can with what he has, where he is. He thinks he’s doing the right thing – just like me. How can I know which one of us is right ? Maybe both ?! Maybe there IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG ?!!! What do I know anyway ?
    Thank you for your posts, they always make me think hard, and this is good for me 😉

  8. I have always been a huge promoter of forgiveness. This is by far one of the best explanations I have ever read. Thank you!! Awesome Sauce!!

  9. Thank you so much! I’m a course in miracles student and get tons from your explanations of how it really is…felt the release I was needing from your F word piece!

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