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Change your story, change your life

“The universe as we know it is a joint product of the observer and the observed.” –Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Several years ago, People magazine sent me to interview one of the runner-ups on the reality show, The Bachelor.

The assignment was to find out if reality shows truly depict reality. Although we reporters are taught to be objective and simply report facts, I’m savvy enough to know that reality, like beauty, is in the mind of the beholder.

The bachelorette I interviewed was very clear that reality shows are anything but true. Early on, she was cast by producers as a certain character, a certain personality type (namely, the partier) and then everything that fit that story line was shown on TV and everything that didn’t was left on the cutting room floor.

Even though we may not be television producers, we all edit our life experiences to fit the stories we make up. If our story line is that our boss is a jerk, for example, everything that furthers that plot goes straight to the active part of our brain.

If our story is that our significant other is lazy, everything that jibes with that scenario is registered and magnified.

The gazillion good things our boss and our partners do get left on the cutting room floor.

We literally can’t see them. Likewise, if we believe life is hard or that money is difficult to come by, we find evidence to further that story line in our lives.

At the base of the brain stem, about the size of a gumdrop, is a group of cells whose job is to sort and evaluate incoming data. This control center, known as the reticular activating system (RAS), has the job of sending what it thinks is urgent to the active part of the brain and to steer the nonurgent stuff to the back. But as it’s organizing, it’s also busy interpreting, drawing inferences, and filtering out anything that doesn’t jibe with our story.

The good news is you can change your story. And, in so doing, change what the RAS sends to the active part of your brain which, in the end, will change every plot point in your beautiful, glorious life.

Pam Grout is the author of 18 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the about-to-be released, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

14 Responses

  1. Dear Pam. It’s always such a delight when your new posts arrive in the Inbox. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful perspective with us. A reminder that if I’m not in my own expression of all-of-that, I’m being the wrong kind of silly 🙂

  2. Thank you, Pam. I needed this the very instant I saw it. Source is good. And you are too! 🙂

  3. Hi Pam

    I love you posts. I am sometimes left wondering like today’s subject how I do it. Are there any links to your books that would help?


    Kind regards

  4. Thank you. So how do you change the story.? Just one thing. How do you begin to change the story? How? Annet ________________________________

  5. Dear Pam, Thanks so much for all your inspiring work. If you recall, I’m the guy who told you the story about the rare guitar showing up in my life when I focused on it through your techniques. Meantime, I was wondering if you might take a look at this (see below). I’ve developed a mediation system that synchronises the rhythms of the waves with respiration. I’m an established international voiceover artist so the audio system features my narration plus some specially edited wave recordings that are equidistant in time to facilitate the process. My guinea pigs have all enjoyed the system and say that it really helps one focus on the moment. I like many others have previously found it difficult to eliminate that internal chatter that can plague meditation practice. As for background I was a print and radio journalist for 20 years. The book was edited by Phil McClellan of the New York Times. It’s my first venture into the publishing world, so I would be very grateful for any help, should you feel the idea has any merit of course. Anyway, free download for today. https://www.amazon.com/Oceanmind-Effective-Method-Mastering-Meditation-ebook/dp/B072KM47LZ/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 Best regards, Mark (nom de plume = Marcus Berry)

  6. I changed my story, but not for the better. I’ve had my share of ‘difficulties’ in life but I always landed on my feet. I’m healthy, I have a home, and I’ve never missed a meal unless I was trying to diet. In fact I’ve always made a point of eating lobster on New Year’s Eve because I believed that eating like a ‘rich person’ would set the tone for a prosperous new year. Back when I started doing this I didn’t know it was called setting an intention! I’ve never had a ‘Richie Rich’ bank account but I’ve always had money to pay bills and and to buy the things I needed. We spend some of our summer weekends camping and relaxing. I have a loving husband, two lovely daughters and two amazing granddaughters. Totally blessed, right? I never really worried about anything.

    Then for some unknown reason, I changed the channel in my brain to the ‘Fear and Lack Network’. My husband really, really needed a new car, but how could we afford the payment? What if I loose my job and can’t find a new one at my age? Our little camper was old and showing it’s age, but a new one would be way too expensive! What if we don’t have enough money to retire? What if our health starts to fail?! What if, what if, what if. I don’t know why my brain changed to this channel of constant static, but it was draining! And then the Universe that has always had my back (even though I didn’t know it) stepped in and presented me with your book ‘Thank and Grow Rich’. Suddenly everything became clear; I had been happily manifesting things all my life without knowing it because I guess ignorance truly is Bliss! Since reading ‘Thank and Grow Rich’ and ‘E-Squared’ I have re-set the channel and I have manifested some amazing stuff!

    These are what I consider the ‘big ticket’ items:

    -The exact car my husband wanted (and needed!) for the exact price we wanted to pay.
    -Our first ‘out of state’ vacation in years (was convinced we couldn’t afford a ‘real’ vacation)
    -A new camper…exactly the one we ‘envisioned’ for exactly what we wanted to spend.
    -Self published a Mandala coloring book with Chakra poetry called ‘The Light Above, The Colors Within’ (never planned that one! And yes, it’s a bit of shameless self promotion)

    Then there’s a host of ‘little things’ like:

    -Getting all green lights whenever I remember to ask.
    -Leaving the house ten minutes later for work and still getting there on time.
    -Finding a bracelet that was lost somewhere in the back yard, sitting on the deck in plain sight. (I swear it was not there or we would have seen it!)
    -Etc, etc, etc.

    Now I spend my time counting every Blessing instead of listing the ‘What if’s’. I know that I, along with the Universe, am the co-creator of my life and it will be wonderful!

    Thank you Pam for helping me turn the channel back to the ‘Love and Light Network’! Truly, you were a gift from the Universe just when I needed one!

    A Million Blessings!


    1. Hi Carol, hi Pam,

      what an inspiring story! I really would like to change my stories about money and the lack of money. But I find it so difficult because these stories are rooted in my early childhood. We never had enough money. To tell you a story: when I was a kid I wished for a keyboard. Not an expensive one, I just wanted to play a little. So I told my parents. One day in christmas time we went to a shop and the shop assistant persuaded my father to buy a relative expensive one. I knew my parents couldn´t afford it and I felt so guilty for asking for a keyboard. I had such bad feelings I never played with that keyboard and my father scolded me for that. So as far as I can remember I have limiting beliefs like ” I don´t deserve it. I don`t deserve abundance, I don´t deserve making a wish…I don´t deserve a miracle.”. Whenever I get a present, somewhere in my brain is a little voice asking ” do you deserve that?”. This are the stories I always tell myself. And this is the reason I think, why I still as an adult struggle with money matters. Deep down in my soul I don´t feel worthy enough. And that blocks everything the universe might give me, I know that.

      So what would you suggest? How can I overcome this beliefs?

      Warm wishes


    1. I start with Gratitude. Every day when you wake up, give thanks for another day of life on this beautiful planet. If it’s raining, find beauty in the rain. If it’s cold and cloudy, enjoy the shifting shapes of those clouds and breathe in the cold fresh air. When you have bills, say ‘Thank you!’ because they represent things you have (lights, heat, A.C., running water, etc) If it’s a credit card bill, it means you bought things you wanted or needed. When you pay those bills, send a blessing along with your payment…think about all the people at the electric company or mortgage company who will be paid, who in turn can put food on their tables and buy the things they need. It’s all about giving thanks for what you have. When I get tired of going up and down the basement stairs to do laundry, I thank the Universe (or Spirit, or Source or God) that I have legs to carry me, that I have clothes to wear, and a machine and not a rock to clean them with! I look for the positive in every chore. I stay mindful and when I catch myself in a negative state of mind I stop and take a minute to re-set and look for something positive. It’s not always easy, but when it becomes a daily habit of finding the good in everything you have or do, suddenly everything have or do becomes wonderful. Your story will change without you realizing it because you will have changed without realizing it. So, for me it’s practicing being Thankful.
      Sending you best wishes!

  7. It is clear to me that, if the Law of Attraction does work, than using it to get what I want does not come naturally to me, and that I cannot learn to do it from reading a book or website. I would someone who now show to use it to show me how. Do you have any idea how I could find someone to help me?

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