“Clinging creates the bricks and mortar with which we build a conceptual self.”–Michael Singer
For you regulars at the party of this blog, it’s no surprise that a) I love all the friends I’ve made here in cyberspace b) I love supporting fellow creators and spiritual seekers and c) I’m leaving the country here in about 3 hours. So, with no further adieu, I’d like to introduce today’s guest blogger, Klay S. Williams, author and co-owner of a lifestyle-consulting firm.
Take it away, Klay!!!! Hey, that even rhymes!
I am a dreamer. I dream for a living. I am also an analyzer. I analyze for a living. What happens when you’ve been so graciously blessed with both a creative and analytical point of reference? Well, you attempt to select the appropriate times in which you should dream, while allowing yourself the ability to be dangerously free.
Doesn’t work like that, ey? Nah, I didn’t think so either.
The incredible gift of romantic love came and disturbed my being—shook my very soul and transformed it into an abyss of relentless freedom; the kind of freedom that does not ask for permission to enter or whether you’re ready to receive its delectable blessing.
I met my Aussie love on May 2, 2011, with the alluring backdrop of New York City as it dangled it’s DVD collection of every romantic movie ever created, to set the scene for such a new romance. Just as some believe the world was created in 7 days, so was our love. He, an actor, was visiting from Sydney, Australia (on holiday of course) for just a month. Fate would have it that we would haphazardly meet during the last 7 days of his stay, stateside.
Amazing, romantic Disney-like adventures set in. He left on May 9th, returned to Oz and we were left with the painful realization that some interactions, like ours, were needed for the soul, but a grand 24-hour time difference was a bit much. It was finished.
Time quickly passed. I dated a bit. He decided to fully reconcile with a former partner and that would be our story—until a year later, everything changed for both of us and I found myself in Australia, void of any NYC possessions, selling everything to make my way to the unknown world, releasing my apartment and trusting that this love would be so grand, awesome, adventurous and cosmic that I would figure it all out as each day would find it appropriately to be.
And, as if a character from my beloved journal of leading men would arise in real life, love courageously swept us off our feet, to never look back, to be what we both needed and ever dreamt of for one another. After 3 passionate months of effortless travel, easy love and sporadic adventures, we returned to the states together to begin a new life.
To say complication set in would be an understatement. Although, the Universe offered tremendous support for both he and I, it was just not enough to combat what my Aussie love needed to fully be honest with and what I would need to learn. He changed his mind and returned to Australia, with a lot of fear, unsettled dreams and a need to fully discover who he is—truly. I was left with a lot of uncertainty, a survivor’s mentality and the desire to try and not blame him for most things—but a mouth that did.
I had found my Prince Charming. The signs and writing on the wall that seemed to be clear about where he was in life was not as apparent to the lover’s eye—my eye to be exact. Although, I reasoned to myself, time over and over again, that I did everything right—I too, was caught up in love’s initial cast and knew that he was just not ready to be in a relationship.
While pointing the finger at him appeared to be so easy (and don’t forget believable) I remembered that we both participated in this relationship—and while I choose not to live my life as a scapegoat, I equally participated in what was our time, to come together, to give each other a remarkable gift—finding forgiveness and freedom through the gift of love.
I cannot equate all of the life lessons that my former partner experienced, but what I know for sure is that our souls attracted one another. Love (and remember it’s brilliantly pure) attracts us at our deepest levels of understanding, creating a pathway to not just be a feel good apparatus, but a teaching mechanism as well. I gave myself permission to travel back in time when I felt the highest exaltation of love—while simultaneously seeking to touch the bottom of the barrel where I felt pain. And, what I would discover, in between the layers of both sensations was the truth of love. He offered me a compass in reconnecting, and in some cases, connection to my true self—which in turn made a pit stop to the core of my belly where forgiveness presented a cheerful laughter of, “You will love again.”
Lessons are meant to be experienced, felt and learned—but rarely do we understand that lessons are also meant to be forgiven. Through the pain of dismissal and abandonment, the art of forgiving gave me the strongest sense of understanding the gift of freedom—that of which we would soon give to each other through the lessons found in our discomfort. Our beings attracted this moment…to not be a harsh mistake, but rather a forgiving mirror that we both needed in order to live out the highest expression(s) of who we were called to become. It’s never about right or wrong, black or white or your fault vs. mine. Yet, if we are serious about love—true love in all forms—we would understand that forgiveness holds the key towards living.
And, we are then rendered ready to love—not just for another, but most importantly for ourselves.
For more information on Klay S. Williams, reviews, video clips and other media, please visit: http://www.PlanAwithKlay.com
Klay S. Williams, M.Div, is the author of There Is Only Plan A—A Journey Toward Self-Discovery and Renewed Purpose, and co-owner of Harrison Williams, a lifestyle-consulting firm based in New York City. Klay conducts personal and corporate client sessions, workshops, seminars and lectures internationally. Through his leadership and unique philosophy of “There Is Only Plan A,” Klay has unlocked a singular powerhouse where individuals can learn how to live their complete and best life.
Thank you Klay for putting into words what the universe was whispering to me but ego was too loud.for ME to hear.:):)
Thank you Pam for always having the most time appropriate postings:):)
Have a great adventure :):)
Very honest (and good) writing.
I am also remembering a passage in A Course in Miracles that might explain a lot of things – not always welcome – and that is that romantic love relationships are “taking” relationships. When the other no longer sees something they want; they go.
The high divorce and break-up rates are testament to this, but I believe the primary error EVERYONE makes is that our own happiness is somehow dependent on the behavior of someone else – when, in fact, it has always been an inside job.
If happiness, or sadness, appears to come through someone else, it’s only because you’ve judged the situation – and given yourself permission to feel accordingly.
Thank you so very much!
Beautiful writing, Klay. Thank you!