76 Trombones in the Thought Parade
“I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts.”—A Course in Miracles
Remember the movie, Broadcast News, where Holly Hunter’s character unplugs her phone, checks her watch and takes sixty seconds to sob her eyes out? Every single day.
If I remember correctly (keep in mind this movie is so old that Holly still had a landline to unplug), she does this for stress relief, to get the angst out of her system so she can be “okay” for the rest of the day.
This time of year, I feel a little like Holly Hunter, boo-hooing and getting a few things out of my system. Today happens to be Taz’s birthday. She would have been 31. And in a week, on the 15th, it will be six years since the unexpected cerebral aneurysm.
So every early October, I’ve noticed, my ego gets a little aggressive, I get a little weepy and well, we both (my ego and me) have an abbreviated pity party……
….even though I know Taz was a sacred gift on loan from Creation. Even though I still feel her presence with me. Even though I know that death is just a story.
The story of Taz is one I miss desperately.
By the time she landed in my womb, I had accumulated a couple degrees, three decades of experience and some notable, if sporadic, accomplishments.
But it was Taz that taught me all the things I really needed to know, like how to slow down, how to marvel at tiny, everyday things, how to laugh, to dance and how to make a room-size fort out of sofa cushions.
But the two biggest lessons I learned from my brilliant, kind, creative daughter is how much love a heart can hold (Like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes that monumental day in October 1993) and how vital it is to embrace every day, every moment, every second.
Death has a way of slapping us in the face with the reminder that life is short and uncertain and that uttering or promoting any message but “I love you. I have always loved you” is a complete and utter waste of time. This is it, friends, right now. And the only question worth asking is “How can I use this right now moment to be more generous, wide open and fully alive?”
Last week, I traveled to Omaha to partake in Valerie Kaur’s Revolutionary Love Tour. The social justice activist is visiting 45 cities to promote the beautiful idea that “there is no you and me.” Each stop on the tour is a grand celebration of love and possibility.
She talks a lot about her Sikh grandfather who would always say to her, “Do not abandon your post, my dear.” Even when sobbing, even when life appears cruel, even when the ego seems to have the floor.
So rest assured, my friends, I will never abandon my post. And if you want to know more about Valerie, here’s a beautiful interview with her and Brene Brown.
Happy birthday, Taz! And, as always, #222 Forever!!!
Pam Grout is the author of 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind (And Therefore Your World).