Wriggle out of the straitjacket of negativity

“Absolutely everything is available to us—sorrow and joy, grievance and forgiveness, horror and transcendence—it’s all on the menu. It’s up to us where we put our attention.”–Josh Radnor

My daughter, Taz, and I once took surfing lessons in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica. Our instructor, a Venezuelan named Jesus, was very clear.

“When you get on the board, keep your eyes focused on the sandy beach. Do NOT—under any circumstances—take your eyes off that beach.”

“But when do we start paddling?”

“The board,” he continued on in his sexy Latin accent, ignoring us, “is always going to head toward whatever you’re looking at.”

Since the last thing Jesus wanted to do was peel two first-time surfers off the scary-looking rocks on either side of the beach, he was adamant:

“Keep your eyes on the beach.”

“But when do we jump up, hang ten . . . ?”

“Keep your eyes on the beach.”

Jesus’s message also comes in handy in life.

When you dwell on what could go wrong, you head for the rocks. When you get all buzzed about how cool something is going to be, you head for the soft, welcoming sand.

When I launched my travel-writing career, I had a choice . . .

I could focus on the rocks:

**I’m an unknown from Kansas.

**I don’t know a single person who makes a living as a travel writer.

**I have no idea how to get started.

. . . or I could focus on the sandy beach:

**It is going to be utterly awesome visiting exotic locales, meeting dashing foreigners, getting begged to stay at five-star resorts.

**I mean, can you imagine, getting to write (my favorite thing in the whole world) about countries I’ve yet to explore?

When I decided to write a book, I had the same two choices . . .

The rocks:

**Hardly anybody gets a book deal these days.

**Why spend all that time and energy on something that may or may not happen?

. . . or the beach:

**How cool is it that I can sit here in my pajamas and do what I love.

**How amazing is it that my words can make a difference in people’s lives.

Just like on that Santa Teresa beach, both realities exist.

But the pertinent question is: which reality is more fun? Which brings more joy?

Why waste the 1,440 minutes we get each day on pessimistic assumptions? Why dwell on worst-case scenarios? Why mentally prepare for doom? Why wait for the dropping of the dreaded other shoe?

Especially when you have the power to focus on how frickin’ amazing it’s going to be when you find your perfect partner, land your dream job, sign that book contract.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the just-released, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.