ego – Pam Grout

Why I officially bench the ego each morning

August 30, 2022 27 Comments

“The knowledge of how to joyfully live simply is still within us. Stand still, stop running, just BE.”—Robert Wolff

So I collect stories about people of a certain age who still bike, dance, hike up mountains. For example, I once wrote about Lou Batori, a Hungarian-born aeronautical engineer who skied (he even had his own parking space at Crystal Mountain Resort) until he was 107. When I met him, he was only 100 and was getting ready to take a cross country motorcycle trip with his new bride (she was in her 80’s) sitting in a sidecar.

Then there was “Papa” Jack Weil who showed up every morning, sat at his little wooden desk in the front of the Denver Western wear store he started six decades earlier. As he said, “I check the obits in the paper and if my name’s not there, I head to work.”

Clint Eastwood is the latest to make my collection. At 92, he’s starring in a documentary that dropped a week or so ago called “Why on Earth?” Someone asked him how he found the stamina to keep making movies, to keep coming up with new projects.

“Well,” he explained, “An old man knocks at my door every morning, but I refuse to let him in.”

That’s kinda how I feel about my ego that tries to jump in every morning with a report on all things going wrong. Its entire mission, it seems to me, is to diminish the gift of life’s wildly perfect moments, to override the benevolent, radical abundance of reality.

It waits for that first moment of consciousness, squawking desperately “put me in. put me in.” It always wants to be in the game, to run the show, to block the sweetness of my one short life.

So every morning, before the ego can get too carried away, I attempt to disqualify it.

“I hear you,” I say. (It never hurts to acknowledge it). “But today, you and your message of fear and scarcity are going to sit on the sidelines. I have way too many wonderful gifts to notice today, gifts that, if you have your way, will sadly be obscured. Life is too short to miss even a moment of all that goodness. So here’s your red shirt. Sit quietly on the bench while I enjoy.” #222 Forever!

Pam Grout is the author of 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind (And Therefore Your World).

Just in: My monkey mind officially announces its theme song

April 8, 2019 44 Comments

“When you get stuck fighting small battles, it makes you small.”—Hank Green ego

You’ve probably heard it: Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” The all-time favorite line of my monkey mind (the Course calls it my ego) is “I like big but’s and I cannot lie.”

Monkey mind doesn’t just LIKE big but’s. It throws them out like parade floats toss candy.

Here’s an example:

Spiritual wisdom tells me I’m love, light, peace and joy.

Ego’s big but: But you often feel like the possum that got hit by the Range Rover over on Lyons Street.

It’s Monday and I want to dive into an ambitious new project.

Ego’s big but: But it’s already 10:41 and you’re just getting started.

My intention: To see my TV series produced.

Ego’s big but: But you live in Kansas…..

My highest belief: Taz and I are eternally connected. Remember the Henry Scott-Holland poem, the line about her just being in the next room?

Ego’s big but: But she’s not available to go for coffee.

Luckily, I’m on to the ego’s theme song. Instead of buying into its “big but nonsense,” I choose to focus on love and light, to launch my new project anyway, to keep believing in my TV series and to continue meditating with Taz every morning.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

#Metoo Why I’m escaping the abusive relationship of my ego and its pernicious henchmen

November 16, 2017 29 Comments

“Your story doesn’t hold a candle to who you really are?”—John O’Donohue
red sea

I’ve heard all the stories: Weinstein, CK, yada, yada! And here’s what I know.

There’s not a misogynist alive that’s half as bad as the abuser in my brain. Perhaps you know him? The voice that tells me and everybody else that’s living and breathing that something is wrong, that something needs to be fixed.

The Course in Miracles calls this voice the ego. It’s the opposite of love and it shows up as fear. It’s a big fat liar and, pardon my ****, it’s full of shit. It runs on three main themes: “Do Something. Fix this. Run.”

It shoves us away from what we’ve been put on this earth to do—to love, to connect, to create ridiculously beautiful things.

I’m currently compiling a playbook of the ego’s many manifestations. Here are just a few:

1.The ego encourages us to find our identity in a psychology manual. Let me just say that you will never ever find even a single clue to your true reality in a psychology book. The DSM and other psychological “theories” are basically a rogue’s gallery of the ego. And as long as you insist on staring at their symptoms, you will never contact the deep interiority that exists within you.

2.The ego tells us security, money and more, more, more is the holy grail. I saw a funny cartoon in the New Yorker the other day. A forlorn caveman, dressed like Fred Flintstone, is sitting in a cave with a half dozen giant boulders. He says to his partner: “I thought getting bigger rocks would make us happier, but I guess I was wrong.” One of the ego’s craftiest ploys is to make us believe that material things—fancy houses, expensive purses, etc.—is what’s missing in our lives.

3.The ego encourages us to look for the flaw in the tapestry. Amazing miracles are happening around us, literally 24/7, and we completely miss them all because we’re focusing on the problem. I’m sure that when Moses put out his staff to part the Red Sea, there was a follower or two complaining about the mud in their sandals. This gigantic sea was literally separating into two, leading them to the Promised Land and they were focused on the gunk between their toes.

To put it bluntly, the ego is a destructive force that rises up pretty much every time we get close to the land of milk and honey.

But here’s the good news. Nary a single one of the ego’s stories is in any way true. And since we’re the ones who created the ego (in a misguided attempt to protect ourselves), we can let it go at any time. We can connect with the true part of our Self—our sea-parting magnificence, the unwounded part of us that the ego has never been and will never be able to touch.

Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the just-released, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side.

The mysterious case of top-secret collusion

November 10, 2017 18 Comments

“Nobody’s ego or belief systems are of any value to society at all. The world is neither good nor bad nor defective, nor is it in need of help or modification. Its appearance is only a projection of one’s own mind. No such world exists.”–David R. Hawkins

My mom was a pianist and church organist which meant the soundtrack of my childhood was hymns and Broadway tunes.

One of my favorites to sing came from the musical, “Annie Get Your Gun.” Annie Oakley and Frank Butler, playing one-upmanship, sang “Anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than you.”

I think of that song whenever I think about J.C. You know the cute guy with the beard and sandals that, according to the Bible, told us point blank that “Any miracle he can do, we can do better. We can do any miracle better than him.”

So far, I’ve yet to walk on the Sea of Galilee or turn water into my favorite glass of Cabernet, but neither activities reside on the top ten of my bucket list.

I’m more motivated by miracles of love, where people who used to hate each other realize they don’t. Or where some limiting belief that kept me stuck in an old pattern gets turned into a whole new possibility.

So why has it taken us so long to embrace J.C.’s exhortations to perform miracles?

One simple reason. We’ve spent the last 2000 years colluding with our egos, getting our intel from that little voice in our head that tells us we’re powerless and that it’s better to play it safe.

The ego is a crafty mother that has been yanking our chains for too long. It’s loud and it lies and it dishes up the fake news that we are nothing but crumbling bodies destined to die horrible deaths.

It tells us that other people are scary. That we must protect ourselves.

But it’s all smoke and mirrors.

It’s time, guys. We’ve got to quit colluding with the ego. We’ve got to quit colluding with our wounds, with our problems.

Instead, we must join forces with the light, the love, the creativity and the beauty inside each and every one of us.

And, as I like to say on Fridays, have the best weekend of your life.

The Universe and Me: a love story

September 19, 2016 161 Comments

“Accept but the joyous as truth.”–A Course in Miracles

I normally share miracles from readers here on the blog. And while this story involves readers, it concerns three miracles that happened to me.

It is only my conceit that believes you might have noticed, but I have been pretty quiet on social media over the past week. I’ve been hiding, so to speak, with my tail between my legs.

Here’s what threw me off my game:

I got an email from my publisher. They were concerned about “my brand.” I don’t know that I put too much weight in matters like “my brand.” I just want to give and love as much as I humanly can. The reason for their concern, it seems, is that some of the Amazon reviews for my new book have been less than stellar.

So I did what any creator knows not to do. I read the reviews. Never mind that 74 percent of them were five stars. But there were also some “bloody awful” reviews, to quote one of the Amazon headlines.

And, even though my spiritual practice is “In my defenseless my safety lies,” I began defending myself in my mind. How dare these reviewers misunderstand me? Against self-help? Against meditating? Against sports car? Anybody who knows me knows that not only am I a self-help junkie (I practically have track marks), I meditate regularly and I am committed to not being AGAINST anything.

Except for that one tiny habit of occasionally being AGAINST myself. I let my ego have a party in my mind. It brought in all the big decorations—shame, fear, depression. Heck, it suggested, maybe I should never write again. Or even leave the house.

But then the universe, who loves me so darned much, decided to send a life boat. Three life boats in one day. In the form of very clear signs. And to me, true miracles.

First, I got an email from a speaker who told me that, using the principles of Thank and Grow Rich (moving towards what makes you come alive, turning your life over to the big mystery, relaxing and having more fun) he’d started a new business and manifested $250,000 in income. Without, as he says, selling or trying.

Then, I learn that a reader in Argentina (hi, sweet Nelly) and a reader in Germany who met through Facebook started a possibility posse. They’re texting each other their three blessings each morning. It’s step two of the 30-day experiment in the new book. How cool is that!! International posses. Affirming my belief that, together, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.

And lastly, I open my mail (my snail mail) and a beautiful woman named Kris sent me a several THOUSAND dollar tithe because my book, the “bloody awful one,” inspired her to follow her dream.

I literally jumped up and down and pumped my fist to the heavens. I kinda think the universe might have even high-fived me back.

So thank you, universe, for these very clear signs that indeed I am on the right path. And for affirming that you love me and that all I need to do is follow my joy, offer my gifts unashamedly and let you take care of the details.

Thank you, my dear friends (those who are still reading) for being such a great blessing to me. I love you all so, so very much.

P.S. The picture on this post was made by Beverley Densham, who makes Happy Kids Cards. She sent it to me (yet another sweet gift) through twitter. Here’s her website:

Pam Grout is the author of 18 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the just released, Thank and Grow Rich: a 30-day Experiment in Shameless Gratitude and Unabashed Joy.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers has nothing on the bratty voice inside my head

March 29, 2016 36 Comments

“The running commentary that dominates my field of consciousness is kind of an asshole.”—Dan Harris, ABC Nightline Co-anchor

My brain is a magnificent instrument. It keeps track of where I left my keys, remembers that 3 times 9 is 27 and files away lessons on how to drive.

But it often acts as my #1 nemesis.

It doesn’t seem to know when to shut up. It chatters incessantly. It likes to categorize, compare, label, judge and define. It perpetuates the idea that life is a problem to be solved.

It distorts the indestructible field of creativity, joy, beauty and freedom that is right here at any moment I can get my mind to shut the F*&k up.

When the heart over-functions, we get dizzy, light-headed and develop heart disease. When cells over-function, we get cancer.

When our brains over-function, we become slaves to a ridiculous little asshat in our heads that lies through its teeth.

That’s why, whenever I can, I separate myself from the voice. I observe it, notice it’s back on the treadmill, spinning its fearful little stories.

And I smile.

Because I know that its days are numbered. More and more of us are waking up, realizing that the voice is an imposter. We’re getting it that all we have to do is be still. Be still and know.

In the stillness, the Truth that has never ceased to be comes streaming in.

Pam Grout is the author of 17 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and its equally-scintillating sequel, E-Cubed, 9 More Experiments that Prove Mirth, Magic and Merriment is

4 bald-faced lies that block your joy and power

March 25, 2016 20 Comments

“The brain’s natural instinct is to judge, but so is the urge to boink the UPS dude.”—Mary Karr

This blog post might come as a bit of a shock. Mainly, because the statement I’m about to make is completely opposite of how we’ve learned to experience life.

Ready?

It is possible to live in a state of uninterrupted deep peace. It’s called enlightenment.

Here’s why most of us (and, yes, that includes me) don’t come close.

1. We’ve created a false self that masquerades as us. We place all our attention on this “self” that is no more real or lasting or solid than Chandler Bing. It’s a made-up hologram. It blocks our real identity and our connection to a sacred, limitless life force.

2. The life force got re-named and developed a bad reputation. The nickname for this realm of beauty, goodness and infinite vastness is, of course, God. But I don’t have to tell you that God, as a concept, has become warped and misused. It’s a closed concept which, again, is the exact opposite of Truth.

3. Enlightenment is regarded as the provenance of a select few. You know that false self I mentioned earlier? It likes to promote the belief that enlightenment is some superhuman accomplishment. When, in Truth, it’s our natural state of being. We are all connected to an immeasurable and indestructible life force. But because we see ourselves as isolated fragments, we plod through life pretending to be something we’re not.

4. A loud squawky voice is manning the dials. We think we’re having thoughts. But our thoughts are having us. And by that I mean, our thoughts, which compulsively judge, compare, label and define, block us from feeling our connection.

Dear Depression: Kiss my beautiful, Truth-proclaiming ass

June 2, 2015 29 Comments

“No one is your enemy except yourself.”–Shannon L. Adler

A person very close to me is struggling with depression. Since I once believed I, too, had depression (To borrow a Prince moniker, I now refer to myself as “Joy Previously Masquerading as Sorrow”), I wrote the following letter:

Dear________,

I’ve been thinking a lot about your current depression. Because I have also suffered the debilitating “dis-ease,” I feel that I can understand and perhaps help in some way.

Here’s what I now know: The only thing “wrong” when I’m depressed is my thoughts. My thoughts start their incessant yammering, telling me I’m bad, that something is wrong with me, that life is hopeless.

But what I now believe with complete certainty is that these thoughts are false.

When I listen to them, claim them as my identity, I give them power they don’t deserve. The better tact is to observe them with interest (Wow! Where’d you come from?), know they’re temporary and REFUSE to fight them.

God promises me an abundant life, a life of joy, purpose and peace.

The thoughts of worthlessness are imposters. They only get away with their bald-faced lies to the extent I let myself fight with them, to the degree I let myself believe they contain power.

Nowadays, I try to remember my two magic words: “It’s okay.”

And I hold on to the fact that there is NO WAY I can be worthless or bad or unloved. The ego’s ridiculous thoughts have no power except the power I give them. I can choose to simply observe them and recognize them as the powerless posers they really are.

The only, only Truth is that God loves me as His precious child. He adores me and wants only good for me and for all His children.

As for the ego and its thoughts of worthlessness? They can kiss my beautiful, adored-by-God ass.

And so it is.

Pam Grout is the author of 17 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the recently-released sequel, E-Cubed, 9 More Experiments that Prove Mirth, Magic and Merriment is your Full-time