“At any given moment, we can leave the self-enclosed world of our thought and touch down in the present moment.”—Terry Cochran
“I don’t know how you do it.”
When you lose a child, you hear that a lot. It’s unthinkable, to lose the precious being who grew in your womb, nursed at your breast and became a brilliant, kind, imaginative person right before your very eyes.
So I have no idea HOW I do it. It, I presume, means to go on.
But I do know WHY I do it. I go on because, for whatever reason, I’m still here. I’m still part of this material world of physical bodies which means I still have some purpose.
Taz, who I still communicate with on the daily, seems to think my new path has something to do with proving it’s unnecessary to suffer. If anyone has an excuse to suffer, it’s a parent who lost their only child.
But as she points out, suffering only isolates me from the whole of humanity. It disconnects me from the life force, like a cell phone that’s too far from a transmission tower.
Mom, she says, you, of all people, know the importance of nurturing a grateful inner state, a frequency that, when tuned in, radios in guidance, connection, joy and love.
Your inner state impacts every area of your life—your health, your career, your relationships, especially your relationships with universal consciousness and loved ones who exist in other dimensions.
Suffering, she says, is like a cancer. It cuts you off from all the healthy cells, it divests you of connection with your brothers and sisters. A suffering mind is so obsessed with its own negative thoughts that it misses practically everything.
Habitual suffering, she says, is all too common in this material world. But, as she points out, it’s nothing but a bad habit. People seem to think suffering is necessary, that it helps them grow, that it can be good for them.
Balderdash, Taz insists. All suffering does is cut you off from life. She said I owe it to my fellows (and indeed to her) to nourish a positive inner state.
She compared human’s oneness and connection to a grove of aspens. They may look like a bunch of separate trees, but a mountainside of aspens is actually a singular organism with a life force connected in an extensive root system. If I don’t nurture a giving, loving inner state, I could poison the whole grove.
Grief is one thing. Suffering is another.
“Mom,” she says, “You always claim you want to make a difference. So let me remind you. Give up unnecessary suffering. Dedicate yourself to creating a beautiful inner state. It doesn’t take long—a few minutes in the morning. And voila! You truly can change the world.”
Thank you, Taz, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Love, only love, Pam
Pam Grout is the author of 19 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest book, Art & Soul,Reloaded: A Year-Long Apprenticeship to Summon the Muses and Ignite Your Daring, Audacious, Creative Side
82 Responses
Wow, I am blown away by Taz’s message for you, and for us all. I FEEL the truth and love of it, and I am so happy that you shared it with us. She is so right. Lots of love, for you and Taz, and everyone else here.
All of us here in this always-connected Aspen grove. Thanks, Su
Indeed , we are becoming aware …..see the connected universe:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMLxuaMm6jM
Saludos
Taz was always a quiet, insightful person that always had, and keeps having, powerful words to share.
Hi Mirzam–Taz always amazed me! She was incredibly wise, never said a bad word about anyone, something her mother can’t say. Anyway, I hope you’re still painting. Your Taz painting is very special to me.
Love it!!!
Thanks!
My heart goes out to you. I would like to recommend that you check out Dr.Joanne Cacciatore’s books and foundation. It’s for parents who have lost children of all ages. She’s wonderful and has a beautiful Carefarm near Sedona with a bunch of rescue animals where you can go to grieve and honor your daughter.
http://www.misfoundation.org https://www.centerforlossandtrauma.com/
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Thanks for the intel!
Taz is so right. I love how connected you still are with her.
Yes, I will always be connected with her. The world is so much better seen through her eyes.
Always!
Well this hit me like a ton of bricks… but, you know, in a good, snap-out-of-it kind of way.
After ‘losing’ both my parents and our family home in the span of a year, I can safely say I’ve been getting really comfortable ruminating in the suffering category, despite the fact that I thought I had a higher perspective on the whole death thing. Apparently not. Lol.
Between you and Elizabeth Gilbert, and your sage perspectives on grief and the grieving process, I’m starting to see the light again and may just find my way out of this self-imposed dark tunnel yet.
I don’t claim that I’m never in a dark tunnel. Sometimes, I get stubborn, feel sorry for myself and make a beeline for the tunnel. I just read a description in an Anna Quindlen novel that spoke to me. A grieving mother said she often felt like an old locust shell with nothing inside. But luckily, I’ve got tools and real proof that Taz is still with me when I stay on a higher vibration, when I focus on the bigger picture. I guess when I took up A Course in Miracles, I signed up for the PhD program.
If we can manifest butterflies and feathers and stadiums of purple into our experience, our kids are right here with us on the Leading Edge. I love the unmistakable nudges in the right direction. Hanging out with Neale Donald Walsch these days learning how to emulate the HEBs (Highly Evolved Beings) who are working their magic in the world. C’mon out and play with us sometime! Neale’s such a fun, down-to-earth guy 🙂
Sending {{{BIG HUGS}}} and lotsa love your way <3
Penne Sue and the CanDo! Crew
Totally appreciate, applaud and thank you for this post. It revels in truth and love so many need to find, become aware of, relish and to live life fully!
“.”
Cat
Thanks, my friend!
💛💙💜💚❤ Love you Pam. Love you Taz. Thank you for this wisdom. You two have changed my life.
Thank you! Taz is working with a lot of folks these days. I am so grateful I got to hang out with her on the physical plane, as well.
Absolute Truth❣️
Luvluvluv, Sally
Luvluvluv right back at ya!
Pam, you are awesome! Best post ever. Love, Cherie
Wow! That’s some high kudos! Thanks!
Pam,
WOW! You have a healthy dialogue with Taz, and she is wisdom personified (uh, wisdom spiritualized.) She speaks such profound wisdom – and I am glad you are listening – and sharing.
If you are with her in spirit, and I know you are, YOU (and your heart and mind and soul and spirit) walk with the very spirit of vision and perspective that is hers. How fortunate you are to be taught so personally by a crossed-over spirit!
I can only empathize and imagine the depth and challenge of your journey this past year, and in growing with it so courageously, you are helping so many others!
Love, Jeannie
As a monk at the Abby of Gethsamani (where Thomas Merton lived) says each morning, “It’s another day to love and serve.”
You are awesome Pam! Best post ever. Love, Cherie
I think you are an amazing person! May you have a lot of happiness in your life! Your messages are inspiring. Sara Gelbard
בתאריך שבת, 3 באוג׳ 2019 ב-21:14 מאת Pam Grout :
> psgrout posted: ““At any given moment, we can leave the self-enclosed > world of our thought and touch down in the present moment.”—Terry Cochran > “I don’t know how you do it.” When you lose a child, you hear that a lot. > It’s unthinkable, to lose the precious being who gre” >
So glad they’re inspiring!
You are one fucking amazing and beautiful woman Pam! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ big love from Ireland 🇮🇪 Alan ☘️☘️☘️☘️
Sent from my iPhone
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Love hearing from Ireland! Thanks so much!
💓💓💓Brilliant & Beautiful! Thanks Taz and Pam! 💓💓💓
Taz is brilliant and beautiful! Thanks!
I love this. ❤️
And I love you! Thank you!
Please keep posting. You do help people, I am one of them.
So glad to hear. I enjoy uplifting my little Aspen grove.
Pam, what a comfort you are every time you post. May I ask, how does Taz talk with you? Oh, what a miracle and what a blessing to still have her loving counsel!
Thank you for your love for the rest of us!
Taz talks to me with signs, with inner feelings, with automatic writing. She’s quite versatile.
Very moving and powerful. Thank you!
Thanks!
Thank you, Pam and Taz, for being such incredible examples of how life and death can be, despite what the common beliefs around them are. Love to both of you! xox
Thanks, Pamela Joy! I loved your card and feel it’s only fitting to cop to the fact that your words in that card made me sit down and post today, as I have been working on other projects last week.
Wow! I am glad you enjoyed the card, and glad I helped inspire you to write to all of us, today. I hope you are having a splendid day, and the invite is always open. We would LOVE to have you! xox
Choosing to nourish a positive inner state with you through all life’s challenges Pam.
So brave..so courageous..another warm hug💕
Much <3
Thanks, my friend!
Thanks Pam,
Bless you my dear soul on your journey….
I happened upon the following this morning……
“Most people discover that when hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with their own pain.” -James Baldwin-
And I can honestly say, at least for myself, that I find much truth there.
You see I learned to turn hate into love for all that is outside a few years ago and I have since been resisting my own pain.
So perhaps it’s time to dig deep inside and see it for what it is and welcome it with an open heart…..
With much love to all,
Michael A. Stilinovich
Open hearts! Open minds! Thanks, my friend!
you and your daughter spoke deep to my soul, in ways I am not even sure I can communicate effectively………..but thank you!
Thank you Pam. While I didn’t lose a child, I lost my life partner last month. Your emails are sustaining and nourishing as I grieve. Please thank Taz for me for this message about grief and suffering. I’m going to print this out and add it to my daily reading to remind me I need to tune to a different station. Love and blessings to you as you grieve and keep Taz’s legacy alive. Val❤️
Sent from my iPhone
This is awesome and right on point! Thanks Pam! <3
Wow! How beautiful! What a beauty of connection you two have!
thank you. wise words to meditate on from one who is grieving for her beloved husband.
Beautiful. Words to live every day by. Love and light 💖
I appreciate you and Taz so very much, thank you for your love and kindness
Dear soul sis Pam Sal and Taz have the same message and speak only the truth! We are blessed💕.to continue a present relationship with them. You’ve been on my mind but from reading this post I know you’re doing well! You rock. Much love and joy. Together Forever 😘
Very touching story thank for sharing Pam
Bless you for being so great and thoughtful
💖🌹
Wow Pam, just wow! This is soooo inspiring and I LOVE the Aspen Grove visual! I also love what you said in the comments, that Taz communicates with you in signs, feeling and especially automatic writing! That is so beyond exciting!
Love you, Pam 😍…to the moon and back…in this dimension and beyond!
Oh my gracious goodness, dear friend… I’m rushing with spirit-chills (thank you, Taz). Thank you for writing and for sharing. While my heart stills feels that _______ …maybe it’s grief… it doesn’t hang out as the Love of Taz so swiftly rushes in and refreshes WHO she is (and that her energy/spirit is everywhere… thank you again, dear Taz). I love you both ~~ Thank you. <3
Thankyou dear Pam for the blessings you – and Taz – bring to this world. We are so blessed to have you with us, sharing this journey with us, and sharing your wisdom and truth from both sides of life. I’m so glad Pam that you hear from Taz every day. And although I’m so sorry you two can’t be together in physical form to do and enjoy life like you once did, I’m glad to hear that you’re still communicating, even if it’s rather differently now. And I think Taz is on the right track – that part of your purpose here is to prove it’s unnecessary for us to suffer. That’s part of the course in miracles’ teachings isn’t it and you’re one of the clearest teachers of that challenging course I’ve ever come across. So, as we each walk whatever challenging path we find ourselves upon, may we all find love in our hearts to share, let go of suffering and pain, and help each other live lives of deep, abiding peace and joy. Blessings galore to you my friend 🤗
🌷⭐️🎈💛🌹
Jenny has expressed so beautifully what I wanted to say to you. The gift Taz is sharing with all of us that suffering is unnecessary is something I want to hold In my heart and trust in it completely. A warm hug to my sister in spirit .
Just wanted you to know that the love and gratitude was sent from me Linda D.
Pam & Taz, what a powerful duo with a powerful message. Thank you both for being in my life. Love Linda
Thank you Pam. Thank you Taz.
Voila!!! I love Taz’s messages to you!!Does she come through as a voice just at any moment or during meditation??? # just would love to know
Thank you, Pam – and Taz – once again and always for your beautiful, wise and comforting insights. You are an inspiration and I love you both.
You never cease to inspire me, raise my consciousness and bring home the real. Your words and the thoughts they provoke in me are so appreciated. Yes, Taz, your mama is a role model and a road map! Thank you, Pam for taking on this journey.
Love love and more love!
This really touched my heart today! Just lost my Mom 3 months ago, and I really needed to read this! Love you!
Thank you for this beautiful insight Pam and having the courage to write and share with us .. I have a beautiful daughter but also a Mum that doesn’t even like me . Which is most interesting. Love and sincerest blessings and how marvellous to have that dialogue with Taz.. Sending you love from the UK .
I love you Pam. My heart feels for you. Thank you for your wonderful words.
I LOVE your partnership with Taz! Thanks to both of you for sharing your wisdom so generously with us! A timely reminder… <3
Love is all the proof you need. Love is still here, love is not gone.
I absolutely love this Pam. TY.
Dear Pam and Taz,
Holy wow, you’re never gonna believe this! Flowing right to our in boxes on a glorious summer day… messages and guidance, signs and numbers and the glorious encouragement from you both. WE do have this! Ya know, when I was following along last year and Taz left – I knew there would be hard days ahead- and I (we) mourned with you… AND yet… she lives, her voice ever present. I swear I heard her voice this morning in the garden- weeding and finding the vegetables that I knew I’d planted. Such joy and such a humongous incursion Love was felt, urging me forward to be brave and true and kind (and to write this note of gratitude) Bless you both for guiding us on and being a dynamic duo. Peace Love and JOY to the world.
XoK
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“Habitual suffering, she says, is all too common in this material world. But, as she points out, it’s nothing but a bad habit. People seem to think suffering is necessary, that it helps them grow, that it can be good for them.
Balderdash, Taz insists. All suffering does is cut you off from life. She said I owe it to my fellows (and indeed to her) to nourish a positive inner state.’
Thanks, Taz! Please continue to insist!
Gosh what an incredible post .. as a mummy of 5 with a daughter the same age as Taz I was shaken to my very core when I learned of her sudden passing. As ACIM student an avid reader of your books and blogs it challenged all I thought I knew and truly believed so thank you both. Thank you both for the daily reminder to live in love rather than fear . Thank you Pam for highlighting the distinction between grief and suffering. I continue to be inspired by both you and Taz ❤️
Dearest Pam,
I have not written to you personally about Taz’s passing…as I honestly had no words… I just felt my heart fold up when I learned of this…and have sent you so much love and blessings from my heart since.
Yesterday I was on a bus from Azerbaijan to Georgia and as I was bouncing along, I suddenly thought of you.. something made you pop into my head… and as I looked up, there it was… 2 2 2 …right above the drivers head…!!! I’m so sorry I didnt get a picture as my phone had completely lost power, but I thought I’d write anyway and let you know that Taz’s beauty is being spread all over the world, touching us all.
Still sending so much open hearted love your way..and thanks..
Ava (Australian) xxx
Pam & Taz…How beautiful you are. Hearts can never be separate when Love is their guiding force.
Love,
Kate in Carmel by the Sea
Grief is tough. I grieved for almost 2.5 years and then one day, I felt like myself again. Losing both of your parents and your only daughter in such a short period of time is unbelievable. I think of you often and always send you love. And so happy you are able to communicate with Taz.
Best ever, Pam. Through my pain, I have found the path to freedom. Living for 12 years without a rectum has proven what you have written. Uni has opened itself to me again and again, in spite of and through suffering’s revolving door.
I have a story for you. I am writing it and will share soon. Once again, what I learned in E Squared is bearing so much fruit it is almost back breaking to pick it up.
I discovered what it is that you are saying in this post. When you separate suffering away from pain, it is soul liberating pruning, isnt it?
Biggest hug and love beyond measure. Will share my latest miracle story shortly….you will love it!!
Seize the Day, Catherine ManifestWisely.com
Can’t wait!