“The brain, as smart as it is, is also kinda stupid.”–Pete Holmes
Today, in one of my posses, we were talking about the brain’s Reticular Activating system (RAS). It’s about the size of a gumdrop, it’s located at the base of the brain stem and its job is to sort and evaluate incoming data. It sends what it thinks is urgent to the active part of the brain and steers the non-urgent stuff to the back. But as it’s organizing, it’s also busy interpreting, drawing inferences, and filtering out anything that doesn’t jibe with what we believe.
Very early on our minds establish a pattern of perception and then proceed to filter out everything else. In other words, we only “experience” things that jibe with our very limited perception.
I told the story in E-Squared about the girl from the Philippines who told me it was weeks, if not months, after she arrived in the United States before she noticed that some people here had red hair, including people she knew and dealt with on a regular basis. Red hair was inconsistent with what she had been conditioned to see and expect. So for several months, she was subjectively blind to red hair, seeing it as the brunette of her culture.
The RAS came up today because well…..there was some fear around last week’s election. It came up because some of us were worried and wanting to protect ourselves from what we think might happen in the future.
That’s why I’ve made “training my mind” priority numero uno. On a daily basis, I instruct it to look for beauty. Encourage it to seek out the bigger picture, to focus on the love and the seemingly impossible.
Yes, my mind and its RAS is an incorrigible slacker. Keeps wanting to return to familiar old ruts. Keeps listening to the spin doctor that looks at the world as a potentially scary place. Insists on focusing on the “information” from my five senses, from the news media, from the default setting that says, “Be careful. Worry. Don’t even think about learning to trust.”
So I just keep getting back up in the saddle, directing my mind to focus on what I know to be Truth. That everybody in the world really loves each other and that kindness is always the answer.
When we choose kindness and generosity in whatever situation we find ourselves, to whomever happens to be in front of us, it opens a crack to see a whole different reality.
That tiny twist—a smile, offering a hand, even just being generous in thought—changes the inner landscape. It reminds us, “Here’s how the world could be.”
Generosity doesn’t fit the narrative, not in a me-me-me world. And that’s the very thing that shakes up the old story, the dominant paradigm.
I also shared the beautiful experience I recently had with a Trump supporter who wrote me an email lambasting me for being a hypocrite. Instead of deleting it (as I might have done in the past), I wrote him back and thanked him for pointing out where I have built a wall between me and one of my brothers.
Because I know we’re all one, I know that anytime I make any kind of judgment, I’m actually casting out a part of myself.
It’s not what I want to do.
And you know what? He wrote me back and thanked me. In other words, I made a new friend.
I think it’s time for all of us to make some new friends. It’s not us against them. It’s us, all here together.
As Ted Mosby once said (well, Josh Radnor, the guy who plays him on “How I Met Your Mother”), “It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially – when we’d prefer not to be.”
Pam Grout is the author of 18 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the just released, Thank and Grow Rich: a 30-day Experiment in Shameless Gratitude and Unabashed Joy.
It Is What It Isn’t
43 Responses
Yes, MLK…let’s not forget all his non-violent civil disobedience— standing up for what’s right
Yes, to me kindness and generosity is what’s right!!!
Saw someone refer to avoiding the Great Pronoun War, not engaging in “Us” v “Them”….
Love that!!! The great pronoun war. That’s really all it is. We’re all in the same boat!
Loved this! I am reminded of one of my favorite quotations from Abraham Lincoln– he said that the only way to truly destroy an enemy was to make him a friend.
Profound! Thanks for sharing!!!
kindness and generosity and standing up for what’s right, and even sitting down for what’s right (Rosa Parks)
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4d/33/05/4d330599d99f03e3dd540607e2bad8cf.jpg
like clean air and clean water
Amen!!! When we come from a clear space of knowing all is well the universe will clearly guide us on the actions to take.
Instead of reacting, we can respond.
Amen sister. One thing I think a Trump presidency will bring us is the maturity to learn to work things out with one another, rather than looking for another “higher” person to dictate who’s wrong and who’s right. Agreed, we need to stop our polarizing thoughts and words, recognize that we all come together in our anger at a world not being what we want it to be. Anger can either lead to hatred and evil, or as I’ve found in my own life, become the emotion that instigates change. Thanks for putting it in perspective.
instigating change–that’s my mission. Turning the dominant paradigm on its head.
I’ve devoured your book on Thank and Grow Rich which David Hamilton gave me and I think I requested you as a friend on Facebook. But my comment here in reference to Martin Luther King. I saw a YouTube clip which said Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream, the dream had him.
I thought this was really profound because I took one step into my dream and dream and it met me the rest of the way.
Joe Hayes – Chairman, The Claregate Trust
I love that. The dream had him. That is TRUTH!!! We can push against or we can be pulled along with the bigger dream that all of us really have, once we stop to really look. Thank you!!
Right on!. My hope is that all the “pushers against Trump” read your comment and realize that pushing against creates what they are most afraid of!
Yes. Let’s quit pushing and start holding hands.
One of the best written commentaries I’ve seen so far.
Why thank you, my friend!
Here’s a funny story:
Last year when my girlfriend and I were in New Zealand we were talking to a bartender who called us a cab to take us back to our airbnb. He seemed to know the area pretty well, told us all the spots to visit, and was super friendly. After about 10 minutes we decided to seek his advice about a couple of areas on the north island. He said he’d only lived in town for 6 months and was still getting to know the area. When I asked where he was from he responded, “New York”. Only THEN did both my girlfriend and myself realize that he had an American accent just like us! But since we were expecting Kiwi, we were both completely blind to it.
So funny! We truly do hear and see what we allow in.
Thank you for your amazing words! Your books are changing my life and the lives of my friends. You are able to put into simple English things I have experienced my whole life…and help to turn those phenomena into reproducible events. It’s so cool!!!
I love the picture in your blog. It warms my heart. Maybe it will happen in reality soon. Love, Gloria
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Yes. It’s a powerful visualization.
Brilliant, thanks Pam!
Thank you!!!
Thanks Pam! You always make me smile and think! Trying to stay focused on everything working out for our highest good – and by “our”, I mean EVERYONE’S. And you always have wonderfully articulated reminders of that. Glad to have a friend like you! xox
EVERYONE’s! Right on!!! So glad we got to meet in Colorado.
Thank you! I wish I had written this, cuz I’ve certainly said, felt and believe this. So, thank you Pam for speaking what is in my heart.
You are welcome! We’re all just channeling the big thing anyway.
Thank You! I almost did not read today. (I’ve been feeling pain of many kinds, both emotional and physical). But your message prevailed, and I am therefore blessed. Keep on keeping on!
Today was the first day following the election in which I was able to start my day in a positive frame of mind. Everyday I wake up and start my day with the mantra “Something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today,” but since the election, I wasn’t really feeling it. I had an epiphany this morning and realized instead of hoping for things to change or be different, I have the power to BE THE CHANGE and I have the power to MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Thanks as always Pam for reiterating that.
Excellent –yes we can love ALL sorts and conditions of our fellow human beings — we don’t necessarily have to even LIKE some or all things that they do, but love transcends like —
And the tail doesn’t have to wag the dog —
Al
Wow, thank you for this!! Definitely made me stop and think. I’ve been unfollowing friends on FB that support Trump.
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Beautiful…just Beautiful. I so agree with this, you have so made my day by finding this in my inbox to read! Thank you!!!
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Cat
Love this! Love the Image and love the quote…Can’t ask for much more:) Thanks Pam!
Pam. It wasn’t a coup!!! Thankfully enough of us understood the Clinton cartel & the corruption in politics & the media. Did you ever think that Trump may be sent from above? He’s flawed but smart & tough. And the American people are his only special interest Get on board !! Reenie Rubino
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Okay as l saw the hundreds of people protesting against Trump
While he is sitting home and say…what?
Hillary was on the phone and talks to the husband while she hears the Trump in L.A. and Obama had his dinner with the ABC letters
Are there enough letters in the alphabet for thus election while the # numbers fighting against the states
Up and down it went the roller-coaster election now we build Trump build the wall to play hide and seek 😊🙈 l am sorry for the people that can’t see the beauty in their lives
Just a little love and an alphabetical soup of miracles
Okay as l saw the hundreds of people protesting against Trump
While he is sitting home and say…what?
Hillary was on the phone and talks to her husband while she hears the Trump parade in L.A.
Obama had his dinner with the ABC letters
Where there enough letters in the alphabet for that past election while the # numbers running against Trump’s wall
Up and down it went the roller-coaster of past election.
Now we Trump build the wall,because je loves big tall buildings, play hide and seek with who knows 😊🙈 l am sorry for the people that can’t see the beauty in their lives
Just a little love and an alphabetical soup of miracles
Awesome post indeed!!! Thank you! And also…did you see the moon tonight? It was a beautiful ORANGE!!!
I had the honor to march with Dr Martin Luther King in the 60’s. One of his quotes that I love is, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” We must take a deep breath, turn from hate to love, reach out to one another, unite, and move forward.
Thank you Pam, I love reading your posts, I love reading and re-reading and re-re-reading E squared and E Cubed and thank you so very much for turning me on to ACIM…love BJ
“Instead of deleting it (as I might have done in the past), I wrote him back and thanked him for pointing out where I have built a wall between me and one of my brothers.”
Wow that’s a hard one for me. Whenever someone writes a critical comment about one of our posts, articles, books, videos etc. I immediately go into defensive mode and blast them back. My ego can be such a pain in the ___. Thanks for showing me a better way. Next time I’m going to try that approach.
Pam thanks. I’ve been busy showing love to everyone as I hope we as a nation move forward in love. I refuse to be programmed into fear. This is my country and nothing and no one can change that truth. Peace and blessings. Bettye