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A Tale of Two Pams

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”―Marcus Aurelius


Lately, I’ve been observing the two Pams who live inside my brain. I find it’s helpful to narrow them down, to notice which one’s in charge.

First, there’s Blessed Pam. She, of course, notices how lucky she is, how amazingly awesome life is, how everything always works out.

And then there’s FML Pam.

FML Pam (and if you don’t know what this means, I’ll just say it’s a social media acronym people use to express displeasure with certain life events) tends to notice problems, just wee little ones like politics or wrinkles or a belief that something is not exactly how it should be.

FML Pam tends to be a writhing, whirling crazy dervish that, like a pinball, careens around my head lighting up neurotransmitters of fear and worry.

When Blessed Pam is driving the car, life is good, as the popular t-shirt proclaims, reality is sweet and celebration is the norm.

But when FML Pam calls for a Chinese fire drill and runs around the car to grab the wheel, a whole different story unfolds.

It’s quite fascinating to watch which Pam is generating my thoughts.

Nowadays, when I notice FML Pam getting noisy, I simply tell her “thanks for sharing.” And remind her what A Course in Miracles promises. That problems are nothing but wrong perception. And they literally wither and die when we don’t feed them with our attention.

When we pump up what the Course calls “our weakened ability to be grateful,” our perception changes as does our whole world. We come to realize Truth–that we can never be abandoned, that we have everything we need and that life constantly works on our behalf.

Sounds pretty much like a no-brainer to me.

Pam Grout is the author of 18 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and the just released, Thank and Grow Rich: a 30-day Experiment in Shameless Gratitude and Unabashed Joy.

33 Responses

  1. As a long time Zen/Awareness student, what I love so much about this post — and all your writings!— is the way you make awareness practice so accessible. The tool you gave us in this article is a powerful one. You make it simple to remember and it could have a huge impact on our lives. Thanks for being a consistent voice out there for gratitude and joy. The world is brighter because of you! 🙂

  2. I needed this in my inbox today! Thank you, bless you, for putting words to the nonsense currently circling my brain. Thank you!

  3. Thanks Pam for being so real about yourself. While I try to stay in the gratitude state, it is a real challenge when life triggers you in myriad ways. When it threw me off course the other day, I simply opened your book felt the joy come back into me and waited for information. As you said, it always comes and I grew calmer and it steadied my beating heart and brain. I never forget to say thank you! And as Sherry mentioned in her post, you give us so many, many powerful tools. As a collective of gratitude, joy, happy people we CAN brighten up the world!! I try to do it in my small everyday world that surrounds me. Love your humor and simplicity. Thank you.

  4. Hi Pam- loved this post. I read a great quote recently which seems relevant:
    Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.
    ~ Wayne Dyer

  5. Hey Pam,
    Thanks, I think you wrote this for me, thanks again for uplifting blessed me.
    Love your writing Pam….

  6. Organized , Thank You THANK YOU! You have validated for me once again that where I am, what choices I am making and the direction I am be guided in is spot on. My IBSC (itty,bitty,shitty,committee ) comes and goes in my flow of habitual thinking – however I just had a beautiful experience that validated growth, awareness and finally being awake fully! It wasn’t pretty, and the IBSC Janet reared her head and reacted to a man that was being verbally abusive towards me (I am in a philanthropic choir, we do two concerts a year and all the money we make goes to our beneficiary). This is full volunteer of time, tithe and talents! We were at a children’s hospital when this occurred and I left got in my car and sobbed! I missed out on handing out bears to the children because of this episode – patjetic huh!?!
    The GREATEST part was even though I reacted inappropriately I was in my car and profound Janet spoke to me and said, are you living your TRUTH right here, right now? Remember who you are – your purpose for being! (As a Minister, Speaker and Life Coach, I teach this stuff)
    So I became my client, was able to get quiet and meditate. I just wanted to share with you that I was awake and able to go back in and be appropriate with this man no matter how he treated me. I was so proud of me and to be so awake in the moment is huge! Love to you Pam! I am still teaching E2 classes and am reading your Thank and Grow Rich……..with much gratitude blessings and love – Rev Janet Ellis

  7. Glad that I am not the only one who has these two talking. This topic would make a great book,especially on how to quiet the FML one,how to dethrone it for good or befriend it….whatever.

  8. I loved the quote about milking the bad five minutes, all day. For me, most days consist of 90-99% good, so I am definitely grateful for that. But if anyone, including myself, has a mostly “bad” day, we can also flip this and milk the five minutes that were “good”.
    In The Power, by Rhonda Byrne (way better than The Secret, in my opinion!), she talks about turning up the volume and amplifying good feelings, and turning down the volume, and minimizing bad feelings. Same as milking the good or bad feelings or experiences we have in any given day.
    So many great ways to remember that it’s all about our perspective, and to do our best to keep the “Blessed Us” in the driver’s seat, as much as we can.

  9. Dear Pam….thank you for re-interpreting the foundations again and again…
    I take “challenging me” in and give a big hug and introduce him to his higher self..the all knowing peaceful big brother,..and ask them to go outside and play and discover things they are grateful for…

  10. I had a little argued with the FP today and then I came down.
    I experienced that today, the same happen to me l found the root of it
    Being around negative people, l could feel it as l worked l just a sponge boob and emphatic sought off the bad energy
    As l am away from those people l feel so much better
    So true thanks Pam😊
    I recommend to be aware with what people to be around
    But l am so happy to say l have my special friend Pam l would not know what l do without it
    The best ever happened is reminding me to read and listen to her everday and hammer it in my subconscious second brain

  11. If ever in Las Vegas, look me up. I’d love to hang out with you. No we’ve never met, but you sound fun, and no, I’m not some crazy nut.

    Lisa S

    Sent from my iPhone


  12. Pam, I love you. Thank you for mirroring my humanness and helping me be always reminded we are not at the mercy of a diagnosis complimentary of the DSM, but we all have a choice and we all have the ability to be our blessed or fml self. 😀

  13. LOVE your books, Pam.

    And, ii LOVE LOVE that quote – and then i looked closely and and saw it was by Toby Mac – do you listen to his music???? 🙂

    blessings to you, Brenda in NY 🙂


  14. OMG, Pam! I love everything about this post! Especially the visual of the pin ball lighting up the neurotransmitters of fear and worry! I also always enjoy reading all the comments, but this round is so entertaining. I don’t know how you do it, but you just make it fun…and that, my friend is priceless! (Not sure what FML is but I’m having fun trying to figure it out!)

  15. Dear Pam,
    Thank you for sharing that it’s not always a party in your life. I’m just reading the book ‘The fear cure’ from Lissa Rankin and it’s all about this struggle between those two parts. She calls them the ‘small self’ and the ‘inner pilot light’. This small self (the ego, conditioned by our educaters) is full of fear and is the cause off all our problems like chronique deseases, burnouts and feeling unhappy. We have to listen to that voice, get the message and confront it with the real life and instead of its stupid imagination. We can do this from our inner pilot light or higher self that is always without problems and in peace and joy.
    I love your books and your spreading of the the light. Thanks again.
    Erwin, Belgium

  16. Oh thank you for that one tonight. I have been in a FML frame of mind recently and recognizing it, (thanks to you) I will find a way to let it dissolve into the nothing-ness from which it came. I am so grateful for you and the wisdom you put in your books.

  17. Thank you for this reminder. Just a thought, though- perhaps the term ,
    “Chinese Fire Drill,” could be offensive . I googled it and found it to have a negative connotation.

  18. You must be in my head too! It’s a constant vigil but I have confidence that one day I’ll live in the loving, joyful, fun Lucinda more than the FML Lucinda thanks to people like you.

  19. I really enjoyed that! Hope all is well, sending appreciation.

    From: Pam Grout To: revadriana@revadriana.com Sent: Monday, October 17, 2016 7:56 AM Subject: [New post] A Tale of Two Pams #yiv4365736231 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv4365736231 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv4365736231 a.yiv4365736231primaryactionlink:link, #yiv4365736231 a.yiv4365736231primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv4365736231 a.yiv4365736231primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv4365736231 a.yiv4365736231primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv4365736231 WordPress.com | psgrout posted: ““Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”―Marcus AureliusLately, I’ve been observing the two Pams who live inside my brain. I find it’s helpful to narrow them down, to notice which one’s in charge.First, there’s Blessed Pam. Sh” | |

  20. Thank you so much for this Pam, it came at exactly the time I needed it. The resentful side of me wants to ramp up and get really angry about something that is going on at the moment and your blog reminds me that the other side has a voice too. Amazing how what you feed gets stronger! Here’s to some calmness amidst the storm:-)

  21. I am glad to know that such an evolved being as yourself, Pam, can have bad days too.
    I just finished reading “Thank and Grow Rich’ I have also read your two “E” books. Recently I gave out happy vibes and released someone to his highest good. Then he suddenly became very sweet and attentive and wants to spend time with me again. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
    Wayne Dyer.

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