“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem.”—Captain Jack Sparrow
My dysfunction of choice has always been guilt. Maybe you’ve been on the same hamster wheel? The one where you obsessively worry about all the things you could have, should have, why didn’t I? do better.
I wrongly believed that if I beat myself up enough I would become a better person. If I listed all my faults and came up with a plan to improve upon each of them, I would finally get the guy, the financial situation, the (fill in the blank) I so desired.
What I finally came to realize is that guilt (and all its mean girl cousins) is a deterrent to miracles. Each “why didn’t I?” only made the wall between me and my highest good more impenetrable.
As I began to dismantle each shaming thought, to take my focus off the “facts” of my pitiful existence, a higher Truth began trickling in. I am okay just the way I am.
Every wrinkle on my nearly 60-year-old face, every age spot, every time I felt wronged or angry and acted less than the perfect human I aspired to be is okay.
Self-love isn’t about getting a massage every other week or treating myself to a bubble bath–although they’re nice gifts and never discouraged. Self-love is about accepting myself exactly as I am. Warts and all.
It’s about the two magic words I repeat over and over again: It’s okay. Whatever I think, whatever I feel, it’s all okay. And I am lovable and loved despite my perceived flaws and alleged past “failings.”
Guilt, it turns out, is as foolhardy as any military Strategic Defense Initiative. The only thing it can ever deter is the always-flowing stream of universal good.
Pam Grout is the author of 17 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and its equally-scintillating sequel, E-Cubed, 9 More Experiments that Prove Mirth, Magic and Merriment is your Full-time Gig.