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Lizard or lover? What’s your response to Paris?

“Absolutely everything is available to us — sorrow and joy, grievance and forgiveness, horror and transcendence — it’s all on the menu. It’s up to us where we put our attention.”—Josh Radnor

I was lucky. When news of the Paris attacks struck the airwaves, I was standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon, gazing out at billions of years of evolution, making it much easier to put things into perspective.

Like everybody else, I have a limbic cortex (AKA the lizard brain) that’s in charge of fight, flight, fear and freezing up.

But I also know, after years of covering such events as a news reporter, that the minute some tragedy happens, people rush forward to help, to heal, to bring forth the higher part of ourselves that loves, only loves.

In Paris, for example, an anonymous musician drug a piano by bicycle to the Bataclan and played John Lennon’s “Imagine.” The taxi drivers offered rides for free. The hash tag #PorteOuverte (it means open door) was broadcast across social media for anyone needing shelter.

And all of us have a choice. Do we live from our lizard brain that’s urging us to fear, to retract, to cower in isolation? Or do we become the lovers, the higher selves that we all know is possible.

Part of the reason I no longer work as a news reporter is because the news (which spotlights mostly beastly anomalies) reports on an antiquated way of life that’s grasping for its last breath. I choose now to report on love and on possibility and the new world that is surging forward.

I know it’s tempting to sit mute in front of the television set or the twitter feed that recounts the gruesome and grotesque. But that only feeds the lizard. The lover in you is just as strong, just as valid. And it wants to act. So your choice.

I’d love to hear in the comments section below the act of love, bravery and kindness you will perpetrate today.

Pam Grout is the author of 17 books including E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality and its equally-scintillating sequel, E-Cubed, 9 More Experiments that Prove Mirth, Magic and Merriment is your Full-time Gig.

86 Responses

  1. Sorry, I don’t think it is at all appropriate for you to send such an insensitive email with this subject matter. You are using a crisis and a massacre to serve your  business.I am unsubscribing and am thoroughly disappointed.

    From: Pam Grout To: jpalaferro@yahoo.com Sent: Monday, November 16, 2015 8:44 AM Subject: [New post] Lizard or lover? What’s your response to Paris? #yiv8315901064 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv8315901064 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv8315901064 a.yiv8315901064primaryactionlink:link, #yiv8315901064 a.yiv8315901064primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv8315901064 a.yiv8315901064primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv8315901064 a.yiv8315901064primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv8315901064 WordPress.com | psgrout posted: ““Absolutely everything is available to us — sorrow and joy, grievance and forgiveness, horror and transcendence — it’s all on the menu. It’s up to us where we put our attention.”—Josh Radnor I was lucky. When news of the Paris attacks struck the ” | |

      1. Finding your blog in my inbox gave me goosebumps that resonated with hope and love. I needed this today. Very appropriate, full of love and sensitivity.

      2. some just dont get it. she is still part of the us and them mentality that negativity bubbles up from. too bad and sad

      3. Let’s all send Judy love… she needs it as she is in fear mode which I totally get… Being a sensitive, I myself can so easily move into fear when these horrors, which are magnified by the media, occur. Sending you biggest hugs and love Judy… . xxx

    1. Gosh. I don’t think she was doing that at all! Her words helped me–she’s not selling anyhthing! We all have a choice in how to act when these horrors occur–with love or fear. Pam reminds us to choose love. I hope you’ll see that instead today, and may you see and feel love today, may love’s light surround you and keep you safe.

      1. I needed to read these words. They broght comfort, truth, and light to my frame of focus. No ulterior motives there. Thank you, Pam.

  2. I loved the piano picture and the fact that there is a possibility of hope and love within
    tragedy. I intend today to be positive and loving in all my encounters…. lately I have found that I have discovered a nicer person within myself who is more generous and kind
    than I think I have ever been… Thanks to you Pam Grout…love Lynn

  3. You know, there are times when you just simply need a swift kick in the pants! Well placed delivery my friend. Yep, I am ending my party with the lizards to find a group of groovy lovers. Imagine! Time for a brilliant change. Kathee

  4. I choose to celebrate and remember the birth of my first born daughter 39 years ago today… that still only seems like yesterday…
    Thank you, Pam G for reminding us… <3

  5. Thanks,Pam,for this perspective.

    Today,difficult as it may be, I will make a conscious effort to feed the love not the lizard.

  6. I am adding on more comment, IT IS TOO SOON. you RE: subject line comes off blunt and unthoughtful, lacks sympathy People died and they died not for you to benefit from two days later. To have an internet discussion and post photos and discuss philosophical concepts. If you would have waited at least a few more days at least…….. From: Pam Grout To: jpalaferro@yahoo.com Sent: Monday, November 16, 2015 8:44 AM Subject: [New post] Lizard or lover? What’s your response to Paris? #yiv4336529888 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv4336529888 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv4336529888 a.yiv4336529888primaryactionlink:link, #yiv4336529888 a.yiv4336529888primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv4336529888 a.yiv4336529888primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv4336529888 a.yiv4336529888primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv4336529888 WordPress.com | psgrout posted: ““Absolutely everything is available to us — sorrow and joy, grievance and forgiveness, horror and transcendence — it’s all on the menu. It’s up to us where we put our attention.”—Josh Radnor I was lucky. When news of the Paris attacks struck the ” | |

    1. How is sending out good positive thoughts of love a bad thing? To me Pam is saying love and kindness trumps hate and fear mongers… Of course we all care about the suffering of the people in France… but how would thinking and posting hate and bad thoughts be helping anyone? (You saw what the hate for others did in France) I know I feel much better after turning off the tv and hiding the negative posts on Facebook… Pam’s post made me feel better and reminded me to spread hope and love.. so that is what counts to me…

    2. Judy – I may be mistaken, but I feel pain coming from you in your messages. Maybe you are grieving someone you lost in these Paris attacks or this touches something else you have experienced. I was wondering what I would do or say to comfort someone who lost a loved one in the Paris attacks. I would hug them and offer them love and support. Perhaps Pam’s words did not seem loving and comforting to you. We all respond and grieve in different ways. I am sending you loving thoughts .

    3. Was it too soon for that guy to haul out the piano? I don’t think so.

      It’s when the chips-are-down we need to be reminded about our truth.

      It’s EASY to hear it the rest of the time.

    4. Where in the world do you get that out of her blog? I am very lost on that one. One of the most interesting oracle cards lately that I have been seeing from Colette Baron Reid’s Wisdom of Avalon cards is the “Dueling Dragon’s Card” which in the card asks “What dragon are you willing to feed?” For me I choose to feed the positive dragon not the one that feeds off fear. I think Pam is doing that exactly feeding the positive dragon. We choose to either let fear and pain paralyze us or we let love loose and let it encompass others. Seeing a lot of pain in this world especially in media is very toxic to our spirits. We are addicted to pain and I have found that out studying psychology. It’s interesting how such media draws such strong emotions of anger and sadness. While I know this is a sensitive time, we cannot diminish focusing on the positive which by the way does help in healing.

  7. I am sitting on my computer at work looking at all the horrible sites and videos from Paris. I too had just said to myself…where are we any different than 2000 years before. I look to the outside world…for clues on how to act, think, behave…I even said…OFF WITH THEIR HEADS…..wow…how loving and kind is that….NOT. I need to rethink, remind my lizard thoughts that this hasn’t worked…then and even now. Just for today I am sending love and light to the minds and hearts of not only myself but to those still in their lizard heads. Thank you for showing up in my inbox and your constant reminders that I am love and only love. HUGS

  8. I think some of the backlash on this article just shows how unevolved we are. I loved your post Pam and if your business is to help people choose faith and love over fear then this is the perfect time to post this. Especially when so many are losing their faith in humanity. Thank you.

  9. Very good post. In these troubled times, even so quickly we need to be reminded during such a horrific crisis that we are so much more than the actions of a few. We always need reminding. To not remind us would have been irresponsible. For what is responsibility? It is only the ability to respond to any given situation. To send love instead of grief is so much more powerful. This post in no way either condones this violence or should be offensive to anyone who may have been affected by this tragedy. I choose love as well and will not be limited by fears that could arise from this. My prayers are with the families who are enduring the loss of those they knew and LOVED from such a senseless act. Thanks Pam for the reminder that we ALL need on a daily basis.

  10. Oh wow, do I struggle with this, and the lizard brain wants to do nothing more than howl with pain and strike out. It’s screaming at me for attention, but I choose love. Thanks for the perspective, Pam.

  11. One in alignment with love will influence millions who are not. Thank you for helping people to change their thinking.

  12. You are physic Pam Grout. My thoughts were of you and how we can change this perspective. I do get accused of being not in reality. I do like the reality of love changing the world. There are to many cynical people who are afraid to dream,trust, and love. Thank you for this reminder to all who is willing to believe and those who aren’t. I just shared my E-cubed book with my sisters. Sadly my E-squared is on my Kindle I hope they can see. Love, Janet, xo

  13. Great perspective. My son and we’re tired of the news yesterday so we went out for a drive in the desert. We saw one gorgeous rainbow after another. It felt good to return to that state of awe!

  14. Hi Pam,
    I am French, I read your books, and I follow your posts, and I applaud your efforts. You are congruent. And Saturday I spent too much time in front of the TV feeding my lizard brain. I have spent Sunday repeating over and over “the universe is wise and loving” and “I am love and I am light” to help my soul and to help me become a better contributor to the changes coming. The people able of such atrocities are lost souls. Thanks to you, to people like Wayne Dyer, or teachings of Ho’oponopono I am grieving and I am sad, but I am able to make the conscious decision to stay in the light and to be as much as possible part of the changes I want to see. Light always wins from darkness, so I choose the light. Thanks Pam.

  15. I choose love and i show it in trying to let people understand that they should now be empathic and they should not begin to accuse all muslims as terrorist cause they hurt as much as we do.it is time we stop the fighting the judging and the killing and start listening and talking to each other and above all be loving towards each other…

  16. Friday night when the news broke about the horrific events happening in Paris, I did what millions of others did and watched things unfold on TV. I prayed, I reminded myself that we are all one and finally went to bed with that thought in mind. Saturday, while at the grocery store, I stopped in my tracks as John Lennon’s “Imagine” came through the store’s sound system and knew that it was a sign from God. Although I may have been the only one in the store who recognized the sign – I held fast to the belief and certainty that it was indeed a sign from above. When I turned on the TV Saturday night, I saw the video of the gentleman in Paris playing that song on the piano and knew in my heart that despite the horrors happening in the world – love reigns and will continue to do so – as long as we believe it will.

  17. Terrorists have been around since the beginning of time. They will always be around because there are two types of people. The “what’s in it for me?” type and the “how can I help?” type.

    Wayne Dyer taught me in his book Inspiration, Your Ultimate Calling, that I have every right in the world to live my life peacefully and simply. I made a choice to not read one article about Paris all weekend because I remember too clearly how 9/11, even as a Canadian sucked the life out of me and the terrorist won until I decided, enough. They were not allowed to attack my mind and put me into a state of fear of being killed a horrendous death.

    Now, right from the beginning of my husband telling me Friday night about the attacks, I chose to not let ISIS and the people involved win again.

    I immediately asked my Source/my God to help all the victims and the family and friends of these people who were attacked by those members of ISIS who believe in their misfired brains that they have the right to take innocent lives due to how people live. I also asked my Source/my God to forgive those because we are all one and part of the same tapestry of life. They did not come into this world believing they were owed the world to live under their terms. They were taught.

    My choice is to focus on those who are taking deep breathes, even in fear, to continue to live their lives the way they want to and have been before Friday, November 13, 2015.

    “All we are saying…is give peace a chance!”

  18. “Absolutely everything is available to us — sorrow and joy, grievance and forgiveness, horror and transcendence — it’s all on the menu. It’s up to us where we put our attention.”—Josh Radnor
    I totally agree with this. – ebc

  19. All I can do is my part. Where I am and what I choose to focus on is Life, Laughter, Peace, and Love. My part is to send out to the Universe intense thoughts of all 4 and to thank God for every little thing.
    These events remind us to Laugh while we’re here and take every opportunity to spread Peace and Love! The only thing we have is NOW, this MOMENT.

  20. Thank you for your post. You’ve made a difference to me today and in days past. Helped me remember who I am and for what I stand. I choose love.

  21. LOVE this post! This happened on my 48th birthday and I found out while at dinner with my family. This fact combined with my love for France (I studied French for years) has had me feeling very down until I read what you wrote. I choose love, always. Thank you for the reminder!

  22. Very beautiful. Thanks for the lovely reminder. In the most dastardly acts bring out the kindest benevolent part of humanity. Love to Paris. Your post helps us remember or true self

  23. Thank you Pam for your ever enriching opinion. I do agree that we have to cultivate Love in order to get rid of this hatred and anger that lead terrorists to kill.

    This being said, my son was having a drink at Le Carillon cafe in Paris when the shootings happened. People died right next to him. He is in shock. It is hard when this happens to you not to react with fear, anger and rage….

    I will go to Paris in the next few days to be with him and give him some support. I will preach for Love and kindness, but I won’t blame him if he doesn’t buy it….

  24. There was a quote going around facebook that said something like, when tragedy strikes, look for the helpers. I think that’s what you are doing in this post. i love the story about the musician playing Imagine. I’ve seen a lot of posts on social media where people are making an effort to put kindness and love out into the world. It’s inspiring.

    I think we also need to have compassion for those feeling anger and hurt. You never know how a situation effects any specific person. Rage is sometimes an antidote to feelings of powerlessness. We can be big enough to encompass all kinds of difficult emotions with love for one another.

  25. As I prayed about this the Lightness of Spirt came to correct my thought. It was the ending of the movie The Grinch that Stole Christmas. He thought he’d stollen Christmas, taken all their joy, beautiful lights, those lights from within and decorating their homes. Yet as he began to celebrate he heard their voices rise from the valley…I clung to this image and the dear ones in Paris, that they continue to raise their voices. And it also reminds me to pause in Prayer everyday, through out the day, loving those I have never met.
    With Great Love,
    Carmel Ca.

  26. I, too, choose love. My immediate reaction when the news about the Paris attacks started coming in was to turn off the TV and to sit in prayer. The positive reactions that you reported are truly telling of who we really are- Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience. We, as a rainbow species, are starting to wake up to this, and say ENOUGH. My intention is to live to see the time when love rules the planet and hatred, fear, hunger, madness and suffering are well and truly abolished for all time.
    Blessings to you dear Pam! Keep on shining your Light to all!

  27. Thank you Thank you Pam Grout! Just as the gentleman piano player in Paris was helping people so is Pam Grout and others who want to share more love and peace,especially now.If there was more of this there would be less of the other.

  28. Yes, such a tragedy. And love must go also to all terrorists in the world, including Governments who arm, train and use ISIS as a foil. Lets send ALL so called terrorists, and they live down my street and your street, and I’ve got a small terrorist in me, LOVE. They need it the most. As Neville says, and Wayne, and probably Pam, and me, God is light, God is dark, God kills, God heals, God is your own Wonderful Human Imagination. I choose to send love, peace and joy to EVERYONE involved, the murderers and the victims, and all of us. God is everyone, everything, every blessing and every curse, and LOVE.

    I pour all my thinking world into LOVE – and I didn’t hear the pianist.

    Thank you Pam. And blessings to you – perhaps a little bit away now from the edge – of the GC!


  29. This sentence you wrote says it all, “I choose now to report on love and on possibility and the new world that is surging forward.”

    Keep shining your light Pam! I’m sending Love and Light to everyone.

  30. Thanks for sharing your views. The photo of the piano player is wonderful. I enjoy your books and your emails.

  31. Thank you for your post.
    I have been struggling with how to explain my thoughts to family, friends, neighbors on how I do not want to be part of the media frenzy to highlight fear and terror among the world.
    I do choose love, compassion, sympathy and my heart goes out to the families for the victims in Paris, but I will not be overcome by fear and negativity because the majority of the world is still a peaceful place.

  32. Sorry, Judy. I’m sending you some light and love.
    On the morning of 9/11, I watched TV, terrified, for about 6 hours, then went outside to get my mail. It was a beautiful sunny day, and birds were flying overhead, and I suddenly realized that the world was still going on, and still beautiful. I came inside, turned off the TV and didn’t turn it on again for the next four days, except to see if they were still showing, on an endless loop, the towers coming down. When they stopped, I started watching TV again. I’m pretty sure that’s why I didn’t join in the nearly unanimous cry for war in the following weeks and months and years. After those first few hours, I didn’t let myself be terrorized.
    When they announced the day before the Paris attacks that they thought “Jihadi John” had been killed, I must admit I wasn’t the least bit sorry, though I’m against the drone killings. So I ain’t no saint, cookie.
    But I see the wall-to-wall coverage of the Paris outrage leading us inexorably into another war, so I choose to tune it out.
    I haven’t seen “Bridge of Spies” yet, but I did see a promo on TV. One character was asking another, “Do you never worry?” The other character responded, “Would it help?”
    That’s become my new mantra, and I have to wonder how it helps to wallow in righteous anger, sorrow, sympathy, etc., in this case. There is horror going on around us almost daily, including a mass murder (defined as 4 or more people) a week in this country. I feel their pain, but beyond sending them positive energy, there is nothing else I can do.
    Too soon? I started checking for Pam’s latest HOURS after I heard about the Paris attacks. To my mind, this post was worth the wait.
    Peace and Love–

  33. After all the days and hours of news reporting about the Paris tragedy, I unexpectedly and finally found tears welling up as I read your post Pam. Humanity is magnificent, and it was suddenly overwhelming to read of the care and love that people showed one another in Paris. It reminds me that people show immense love and care to each other on a daily basis, I just need to turn my focus away from the NEWS items

  34. So glad I don’t watch ANY TV! Did listen to some radio, needed to clear my head after that, so I took a short walk.( I am just recently able to do that, walking that is…after 8 mos. of post stroke therapy). A healing step into woods on a glorious fall day helped me to know that, without the intensity of the media focus, I could gain the equilbrium that I needed to keep the Love and lose the “lizard”. I feel blessed and send my prayers out to the Universe toward Paris. That I can do.

  35. Pam, I found this post absolutely profound!!! Eloquently said, where do we choose to focus? For wherever our focus is placed, Love or Fear, we create more of! The “head” can always rationalize war and violence, but the Heart knows only Love, Neutrality, (Expansion) and Joy! What do you choose….? Love or Fear ? Blessings and Love to you! Kim from Matrix (Chicago March 2015)

  36. Truly just what I needed to read today. I was about ready to implode with all the constant dark and despairing news every time I turned on the tv. As usual your truth has renewed my spirit. Thank you!!!

  37. I do not watch news at all, I have never liked them because they always made me feel very sad and powerless about any situation. Now days, if the Universe wants me to know about something, it would send it my way for sure. I was checking facebook when I started seeing people saying thinks like “my heart is with Paris”
    I knew right away that something might had happened and I needed to check. When I found out exactly what had happened, I got goose bumps right away, but at the same time (and since I am very connected to the spiritual world) my higher self started talking through me, literally my mouth started feeling a lot of pressure and words started to come out saying: “Do not do that Judi, do not even go there. You know better why all these is happening, do not feel sad or scared about all these. You know that the people that died are not dead and are very happy, so do not feel sorry for them. Instead, I want you to do a meditation and send lots of love to the ones that can’t remember who they are and are suffering because of it. Help them aliviate their pain with your love and positivism”
    I know all these sound strange for many and because they do not understand, it hurts.
    Pam is so right, all these beautiful “painful” situations are here for us to start loving each other a lot more and start seeing all the positive things around it. The more we realize this, the less tragedies we will have. The more sadness and anger we feel through these situations, the more it would hurt and the more of these same situations we are bringing towards us. This is because we are refusing to see that the reason they keep happening is for all of us to love each other unconditionally, and I mean all of us, no exception. We tend to hate the ones that “hurt” us or others instead of loving them. The truth is that they are not “hurting” anyone, they are amazing souls helping us remember who we really are…. Love.
    We are all choosing to go through this experiences for an amazing reason. Luckily there are a lot more people now days who remember what that reason is.
    People tend to think that because I am saying this, I do not have a heart and I do not care. But, the truth is that I do not only have a heart, I listen to it, I do not only care for people, I do love all of them. This unconditional love allows me to help change the energy in the world in a positive way. If you decide to be sad and hate some of the people in any kind of “horrible” situation then I can tell you that you are helping the ones you hate hurt and kill more people, and this would not stop being in your reality until you start loving everyone around you and understanding that they are all just a reflection of you and that that reflection of you is just asking for love. It would all start making a lot more sense once you start with loving yourself in an unconditionally way.
    I, more than anyone else do not want to keep seeing these things happening and because of that, I am choosing to love myself, love EVERYONE and EVERYTHING unconditionally, no exceptions, because the truth is we are ONE and we NEVER die. So how can I be sad and hate this beautiful truth? I do spend most of my time working on myself so when my friends and family decide to change frequencies in any kind of way, I am capable of feeling joyful for their decision while still enjoying their love, company and wisdom.
    I truly love you all 😊💗

  38. Thank you for this post Pam. I spent my last three days on Facebook, Twitter, and any news that I could get my hands on. Last night I was feeling so low. I had had enough, I just could not take anymore.

    Your post came just at the right moment. A light at the end of the dark tunnel. It helped me regain Faith and choose Love over Fear. I also kept telling myself that Underlying chaos a great awakening is happening…trust, know and believe!

    Love is all we need.

    Thank you again! 🙂

  39. I too enjoyed reading this, as far as you (Pam) using it as a marketing tool, I had to laugh. I have been following you for a few years now and have enjoyed what my God aka “the Dude” has provided and I believe I spent maybe $3.25 for a Kindle book. The finger-pointing on the left and right is so negative. Facebook has become a sounding board of so much crap, it felt good to read something positive. I will do my best to keep the friends that are showing their true colors on a public forum and spreading hate. “let he without sin cast the first stone” I am not perfect but will continue to keep positive.

  40. I’m going to be taking my Uncle Speed up to Bunbury (2 hour drive) today to see the eye specialist! It’s going to be so much fun because he is a great conversationalist and we get on so well… While he’s in having his eyes tested I am going shopping for things I can’t get here in Margaret River….. so it’s a win-win situation! I want to help him out, as much as I can, and this is only a little thing I can do… he is almost 88 years young and still as fit as a fiddle and always so pleasant and positive, plus he was my dad’s best friend… So I am so honored to help him out and feel very blessed!

  41. Yes, thank you!! In times like this it’s easy to forget that we CHOSE to come here. We chose to come here for these exact opportunities. “It’s gonna be tough sometimes – can you handle it?” we were asked. “Oh, yes! I know I’m The Light,” we stated emphatically. “I can bring the Light even to the darkest of places!” Thank you for reminding us of our light bearing powers Pam Grout. Hugs.

  42. “We refuse to hate because we know that love will do a better job.” U2 at recent concert – I cannot think of any more to say.

  43. Thankfully because of the materials I have read over recent years like yours, Wayne Dyer, Anita Moorjani my Lizard brain didn’t even begin to kick in but oh brother it certainly would have a few years ago prior to reading such materials

    I avoided TV and only focused on sending love and light to Paris and forwarding messages of hope across social media.

    Early Saturday morning I went on YouTube and found a Video of John Lennon singing imagine and shared it on Facebook and Twitter and it was through my beautiful daughter who was also using her Facebook account to share love and positivity I came across the video of the Piano player.

    People can be negative about social media but I was in awe of how the world came together to show it’s love and solidarity towards Paris which social media gave me the opportunity to experience and I am sure this enabled the people of Paris to see how much love there was for them.

    Since you posted this most people may be aware of the man who lost his wife last Friday and sent his message that he will not hate and the example he is going to set his son of love. If he refuses hate who has lost so much what right as anyone else to be angry or hateful.

    Wayne Dyer says be open to everything and all I can see is how through such a tragic act the world got a little smaller, a lot closer and a lot more loving.

    You have to keep doing what you are doing Pam. We need you to educate the whole world what you think about you bring about and we can bring about love regardless.

    Namaste to all an especially Judy x


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